Wedding Ideas

^{The best type of maid of
honor is like a boyscout – always prepared and always helpful. To earn your
merit badge, put together a bridal emergency kit, full of those oh-so-useful
things everyone seems to want on the day of a big event. but no one has – except
you! Brides, in case your maid-of-honor prefers boy watching to boy scouting,
you could either ask someone to help you put this bridal emergency kit together,
or pull it together yourself.

Essentials

Sewing Kit, including safety pins and small scissors

Clear nail polish (helpful for stocking runs)

Nail file

Nail polish in the bride's shade

Makeup (you'll probably have this there anyway!)

Straws (for drinking without messing up lipstick

Extra stockings

Hairspray

Brush and comb

Bobbypins and hair elastics

Hairdryer

Static-cling spray

Tissues

Handkerchiefs

Lint brush

Earring backs

Iron

Baby powder (also useful for getting out last-minute spills on a white dress)

Eye-drops (look for redness reducing)

Contact lens solution

Acid relief

Smelling salts

Antacid

Mints

Tampons and pads

Headache medicine (bring two different kinds in case one of the bridal party is
allergic)

Band-Aids

If you're getting dressed in a place that won't have a bathroom near, you'll
also want to bring a mirror, bottle of water, and moist towelettes.

Good extras: charged cell phone, camera for taking getting dressed candids, list
of vendors phone numbers, wristwatch.}

Not every bride has been dreaming of her wedding day since she was a little girl. Some women just want to marry their significant other without all the pomp and circumstance that goes along with it such as the months of tedious planning, being the center of attention and hunting for that elusive bridesmaid dress flattering all ten attendants in your wedding party. Sound familiar? Then you are an anti-bride.

THE DRESS

If the thought of going into a bridal shop and trying on traditional gowns makes you break out into a rash, then you should avoid them at all costs. Channel your inner Carrie Bradshaw from the Sex and the City movie (who did in fact break out when trying on a gown during the TV series) and pick out a simple off-the-rack outfit you will feel comfortable and attractive wearing. It doesn’t have to be white. It doesn’t have to be formal, and it doesn’t have to be designer. It’s your anti-wedding, pick out a style that suits you.

BRIDESMAIDS

If you even choose to have bridesmaids, let them pick out their own dresses. This will not only save them some money, but will also ensure that they pick out a dress that flatters their own body type and possibly be something they could wear again.

BRIDAL SHOWER

If you don’t like being the center of attention, then you will probably dread opening up all your presents in front of a room of 50 plus people at your bridal shower. Sure, the presents are nice, but at what expense? People will probably still buy you presents regardless, so if you can, why not skip the bridal shower all together?

If you can’t avoid the shower, then take freelance writer Jessica Murphy’s suggestion and ask your guests to not wrap their presents. That way you can just display the gifts for everyone to see, thank everyone and enjoy a nice leisurely lunch mingling in the crowd with your guests. Not only will this save you from having all eyes on you as you open each gift, but it will also help out the environment by saving all that wasted paper!

PREP TIME

People have been known to throw a wedding together in just a few short months, so don’t waste a whole year or two trying to get everything together. You don’t need all the trappings, so find a decent venue you can live with for the reception. Ask a friend to photograph the wedding. Use your iPod if you can’t find a DJ on short notice. Create your own invitations and then, just show up! Since you’re not too concerned about the frills, you won’t have to spend months needlessly stressing over the plans. As long as you say your “I Do’s,” there’s not much else to worry about.

THE ZEN BRIDE

The essence of being an anti-bride is that you don’t get all caught up in the little things. Stay true to yourself even though most people will expect you to dive into planning every detail and will offer up a dozen bridal magazines for ideas. Whether you skip the big-to-do and just head to Vegas or have a low-key affair, embrace your inner anti-bride and just enjoy marrying the person you love.

This is the final entry in a five part series this week on the stages of a relationship and how you can make financially sound choices throughout. Other entries include courtships;, engagements;, weddings, and honeymoons.

It’s easy to fall into routines in your marriage, and often those routines are hard to break. You can establish routines that lead to a healthy marriage that’s grounded in healthy relationships and healthy money practices, or you can establish routines that are very disruptive.

Which do you choose? Here are ten tactics for getting yourself on a great path to a long-term successful marriage, both financially and otherwise.

Talk to each other as often as possible. Have a healthy conversation every single day. Ask what your spouse is doing and what they’re thinking about. Tell your spouse what you’re up to and what you’re thinking about. The better you understand your spouse in the good times and the normal times, the easier it will be to work through the difficult times.

Listen to what the other person is actually saying. It’s easy to get used to the routines in your life and in your spouse’s life, making it easy to somewhat gloss over the specifics on a daily basis. Don’t fall into that trap. Listen. Almost every time that a problem is developing, your spouse is telling you about the problem in some fashion. Pay attention to the things your spouse is saying, and if something doesn’t seem right, don’t blow it off. Follow up - and be there for your spouse.

Be honest and actively admit your mistakes - you will make them, after all. Everyone makes mistakes in their marriage. They make a poor choice. They don’t correctly interpret what their partner wants. I know I certainly do it often enough. The best thing you can do when you make a mistake - money or otherwise - is to confess to it. Tell your partner about your splurge. Tell your partner about your mistake. Not only will your honesty make it easier to talk about, you’ll also be driven to do better.

Talk about your long term plans together on a regular basis - and be open to changing them as you grow. Where do you want to be in a year? In five years? In ten years? Tell your partner your thoughts and encourage your partner to share their thoughts. You’ll find that some of them are different, but that many of the goals are in common. The common goals are great ones to focus on because you’re both driven to get there - and you’re able to reinforce each other’s resolve. Talk about these goals regularly.

Work together on the small steps you can do right now to reach those big shared goals. Once you’ve figured out the goals you have in common, spend time talking about what you can do right now to bring you closer to those goals. For us, this has been invaluable at keeping our spending choices in check. We talk about almost every significant purchase and decide together whether or not it’s in line with what we want out of life. Which leads to…

Plan big purchases together - and think about how they’ll impact your other big plans. Excepting any “spending allowance” that you both have, any significant purchase should be discussed together. My wife and I discuss anything more than $20 - and often, we discuss it to death (which is a good thing, because then we don’t spend the money). We are basically checks against unnecessary spending for each other - and that enables us to accomplish our real goals faster and keep our less-focused sides in check.

You’re going to disagree. Work on disagreeing well. You’re never going to agree all the time with your partner. Sometimes, your partner is going to be right and you’re going to be wrong. This will happen. Don’t turn disagreements into competitions. Instead, look at disagreements as opportunities to really figure out the truth of a situation. Do your research and figure out the real deal, then follow whichever side is actually in the right. You’re far better off being wrong and then changing your mind than being wrong and sticking with it like a dog with a stick just so you can “win” - that’s a recipe for long-term failure in multiple ways.

Always strongly support the positive moves your partner makes. Whenever your partner makes a good move, congratulate them. Reinforce the idea that the move was a good thing, and then use their good choice as motivation to make your own good choice, not as an excuse to coast because your partner is carrying the weight. At times, my wife and I almost compete at positive things like cleaning the house or saving money.

Don’t plan for retirement in a bubble - include your partner’s plans and income to develop an overall plan for retirement. Plan for retirement together and make choices that will provide you both with the money you’ll need for your later years. This may mean that one partner saves more than the other because they have a better 401(k) opportunity or they have a higher income. Having said that, it is a good idea to not have all retirement handled by one partner - if one partner has a fully funded 401(k) in his/her name, the other partner might want a Roth IRA in their name, just in case. However, the overall planning should reflect your shared goals.

Reaffirm your love every single day. Tell your partner you love them. Give a hug or a kiss or an embrace. It’s so simple to do, yet so many couples miss out on it. Simple little tokens of love provide a constant reaffirmation of your relationship, plus they ensure that you’ll never feel regret if something unthinkable happens.

Got any good, reasonable, frugal advice for people getting started in their marriage? Please leave them in the comments.

Well, if it’s so hard and the odds aren’t so good, this question might come up: why bother? With so many marriages ending in divorce, why take the risk? The simple answer is that we all desire to love and be loved uniquely, and that leads most of us into a covenant marriage relationship. Despite the rise in divorce, cohabitation, and unwed parenthood, marriage remains an aspiration of the vast majority of Americans. A recent survey found that 93 percent of Americans rate ‘having a happy marriage’ as either one of the most important, or very important objectives.”

With this desire, however, there are realistic fears. One research project that explored the attitude of today’s college students concluded, “They are desperate to have only one marriage, and they want it to be happy. They don’t know whether this is possible anymore.”

If college students—and other single adults—can understand the nature of love and how to express it effectively, they can have the “happy marriages” they desire. And so, my plea to every single who reads The Five Love Languages Singles Edition is to: (1) apply these principles in every dating relationship, (2) accept the thrill of the in-love obsession for what it is—exciting but temporary, and (3) commit yourself to purposeful love expressed in the other person’s primary love language.

When those in dating relationships do these things, they can then assess the other aspects of life that will help them make a wise decision about marriage.

“What is the purpose of marriage?” Here are some of the answers I received from the many single adults I have interacted with over the years

1. Companionship
2. Sex
3. Love
4. To provide a home for children
5. Social acceptance
6. Economic advantage
7. Security

But can’t these objectives be accomplished outside of marriage? Yes. Although abundant research has indicated that married people are happier, healthier, and better off financially. Still, the purpose of marriage runs deeper than any of these seven goals. We'll explore that purpose next week.

Hot wedding ideas that will amaze your guests

Congratulations! Here at TorontoBrides.com, we know and understand how much work you'll have to do as you organize for and busily plan your wedding day. Regardless of culture, religion, or the size of the wedding, there will be a lot of little details that need to be covered as you prepare for this one day.

In this section, we've compiled suggestions that may help you mentally prepare yourself for this task at hand. Please click on the links below:

Admit and appreciate your feelings
Expect stress
Expect negativity
Expect to deal with family
Expect the unexpected
Remember you
Remember the big picture

Again, congratulations!!! We, at TorontoBrides.com sincerely wish you all the best for your wedding day and for all the days you will share with your new husband as one unified couple.

Wedding music

Music is a great way to set the mood for various parts of your wedding day celebration. Using carefully selected music throughout the day is a great way to express yourselves, personalize your wedding as well as entertain your wedding guests.

The use of music, or rather the stopping of it being played, is also a good way to get your guests attention at various times of the day. For instance, if you have music playing during the pre-reception and it is now time to move you guests into the reception area a sudden halt of music can let your guests know something is happening.

Music during ceremony

You will most likely want special, emotionally driven music being played when the bride and other members of the wedding party are walking down the aisle. It is important when selecting your venue and you want music to be played during the ceremony that the venue can accommodate your desires. Many venues likely can accommodate this request, but it never hurts to confirm this.

Music during reception

If you are planning on having a dance during your reception, you are definitely going to need music for this part of the day. See the section below Options for the reception music section for more information.

Other music options

While all your guests are arriving and being seated, it is a good idea to play some music before the wedding ceremony. This music can be used to set the mood of the wedding ceremony about to commence. If you are going with a very drawn out very emotion filled wedding you can play softer, classical, emotion filled music. If you ceremony is going for a more fun and funky style, play fun and funky upbeat music to entertain your guests.

This is one of those times when suddenly halting the music will quiet down your guests as they know something else is going to begin. Then when the music begins next, the wedding party will begin their walk down the aisle.

Another time to consider adding music to your wedding is after the bride and groom have been pronounced man and wife and walk out of the ceremony. What better way to start off your married life together than playing some fun, happy music? Having a few songs queued up here is a good idea, as all your weddings guests will be exiting the ceremony shortly after you.

If you do plan to play music for when the wedding party walks down the aisle, and when people leave the ceremony, you will need someone to turn on and off the music. Make sure there are easy instructions for them to follow to help ensure that everything runs smoothly.

Musical performance during the wedding ceremony can also be very entertaining for your guests. The performance will likely draw a lot of emotions out of the crowd, so hopefully they have their tissues ready. Playing music during the ceremony is a nice way of breaking the monotony of spoken word. If you plan to include music during the ceremony, be sure to coordinate it with your musicians as well as the priest or justice of the peace to decide when it would be the best time to include it.

Another time that you might consider adding music to your wedding day is during the pre-reception. Having some background music will always fill the background and help set the mood for rest of the evening. As mentioned before, stopping this music will also get the attention of the guests to make it easier for them to know when to start filing into the main reception venue.

Options for the reception music

If you are planning on having a dance during your reception, you are definitely going to require some great dancing music. There are a few different options that you have for playing music for your wedding guests.

Don't forget that the first few dances are reserved. You can read more about weddings songs here.

This is probably the most common way music is played at weddings. Most wedding DJs are equipped with a wide variety of music to please all musical tastes. Don't forget, weddings often mean that people of all age groups will be attending and usually that means that they have different likes and dislike when it comes to music. One of the major benefits of hiring a wedding DJ is that you don't have to do very much work once you have decided upon a DJ, except of course, to pass along a song request list if they offer that service. DJs also have experience with keeping a dance floor packed with people and know how to mix up slow and fast songs. Just make sure that your venue can accommodate the space that setting up a DJ table and equipment will require. When hiring a DJ be sure to ask about their rates, their comfort with talking on a microphone, if they have all of their own equipment and ask to see their music collection lists.

Live band

This is the most traditional type of music at a wedding. But be careful that you choose a band that is capable of playing various types of music to please all your guests. Arranging a live wedding band can be more difficult that simply hiring a DJ and potentially more expensive, but it might be worth it; live music seems to just burst with energy and is certainly more entertaining than watching a DJ. Some things to consider when having a wedding band are that they take up a lot of space. So make sure that your wedding venue can accommodate them. Also, the band is going to need to do a sound check at some point, so make sure that is put into the schedule for that day as your guests shouldn't have to listen or watch the band doing their sound check and setup.

Do it yourself

Another option that technology has made possible is the do it yourself DJ. Through the use of burned CDs, computers, iPods or other mp3 players you can play the music. If this is going to be your plan, make sure that someone is assigned the role of DJ, just so you have someone to look after the controls and the dance floor. If the dance floor is empty, maybe it is time to prematurely exit the song and play a new one.

The benefits of handling your own wedding music are of course costs savings, but it also means you can choose all your own music. It will also take up a lot less space to hook up an iPod for instance. One of the negative aspects of doing your own music, is the fact that you will need to locate all the music yourself and set up all the play-lists etc. This can be extremely time consuming.

If you plan to handle your own wedding music, then ensure the system at the wedding reception venue works and does a test run of the sound system earlier in the day.

Music fees

Depending on where you live and what the laws are, you might be faced with extra fees for playing live music or having a DJ. The fees are not that expensive, but as you already know (or will soon find out) the wedding fees just keep on growing!

If you are using online RSVP or even regular paper RSVP, it is really nice to let your guests make song request, they are the ones who are going to be dancing, so it is good to take requests from all guests. Expect a very wide array of different songs, for all your different guests.

Wedding songs

This is typically the first song of the dance. This song is reserved for the newlywed couple to dance to and is all too often a great photo opportunity. Traditionally this song is a slow dance, unless of course you are comfortable dancing in front of all your wedding guests at a faster pace together. Even though all eyes are going to be watching, have fun and savor the moment.

Often times the second dance is also reserved for the bride to dance with her father. This is not mandatory of course, but can be an enjoyable show for your guests. Just remember that it is your special day and you can mix things up however you please to accommodate your family, your traditions and your personal preferences.

If you are really not comfortable getting up and dancing in front of people you can always take dancing lessons to get your two left moving more harmoniously together.

Choosing your wedding song

If you have a special song between you and your fiancée, using it as your wedding song might be a special moment for you to play the song and dance to it.

Common weddings songs

People are often looking for ideas or inspiration when choosing a wedding song, so, if you have a special song you played for your wedding song that you would like to share with others on this site, send us an email and I will add it to the list.

Pop Wedding Songs

Classic Wedding Songs

Country Wedding Songs

Oldies Wedding Songs

Wedding song etiquette

If you are a guest at the wedding, do not dance during the first two songs! Chances are the bride, the groom or the brides father and other important weddings guests will not find this funny despite what you and your friends might think. This is a special dance to special song, so be patient, there will be plenty more chances to dance.

Make sure your DJ, your MC or band knows to announce these special reserved songs and for the bride and groom and/or the bride and the bride's father. These are usually done right away as it is easiest to keep the dance floor clear for the special wedding songs at that time.

If you are thinking of giving music CDs to your guests as your wedding favor, including the wedding song on your CD would be an obvious thing to include.

How To Use Technology to Plan Your Wedding

Planning a wedding can be a difficult and very time consuming task. But alas, like everything else these days, we can look to technology to help make wedding planning easier on us. Below are many ways in which we can make use of technology to help make planning the big day a little less stressful. It might also be a great way to help you save a little money too.

Create a Wedding Website

Having your own wedding website to inform your guests about things for your wedding is a great idea. It can save the time needed to answer a lot of phone calls and have conversations about hotels near the reception, directions on how to get the wedding ceremony and where you are registered. Having your own wedding website should not replace sending out wedding invitations, but it can mean having a lot less inserts, also keeping your wedding costs down by not requiring as many stamps.

If you are really tech savvy, you can have your guests RSVP on your website too! Then you do not have to deal with phone calls and mail. This can also save you some money because you do not need to send everyone a stamped RSVP postcard or envelope.

Wedding Blog

A lot of couples these days are keeping a wedding blog to help friends and family keep up to date on how all of your planning is going. This can also be a fun way to catch up with out of town guests and get comments and feedback on some of your ideas. A blog is also a great way to share pictures and stories from the bachelor parties and/or wedding shower.

Online Research

Using the internet to research for wedding information is probably a given in this day and age, but no technology wedding planning advice could go without mentioning it. There are plenty of great resources out there, in addition to EverythingAboutWeddings.net. Manolo Brides is a great blog that up to date on all the great new wedding trends. There is also a great etiquette site called Always a Bridesmaid that can a wealth of information.

In addition to just reading up on great tips, thoughts and ideas, another great resource is Q&A sites such as Yahoo! Answers. It is a fabulous way for asking about experiences of others as well as planning tips and unique ideas to help make your wedding day extra special.

Wedding Invitations

A great money and time saver option is to use an online invitation and party planning tool such as eVite. This can save you bundles of time as you will not need to collect everyone address (although you will still need their email address), writing out their names on the cards and envelopes or print them all up. Depending on the quality of the online application that you go with, there may not be an online RSVP that allows you to select your meal preference, but it will work great for buffet style weddings.

You can also build your own custom RSVP system as part of your website that will allow your guests to RSVP. An advantage of this is that you can customize it so you can track things like guests' food allergies as well as collect song requests for the reception dance.

Wedding Music

Instead of hiring a potentially lame wedding band or DJ, consider making use of your iPod. If you already know all the songs you want to hear at your wedding (because you took song requests as part of your RSVP system or simply because you have a good idea of what music you would like to play) you can create song play lists on your iPod for the reception dance. My advice is to have a lot more songs than you intend to play though in case some songs are duds and you need to move along quickly. The downside of this is that you will need someone to keep an eye on the dance floor and switch up the tunes if there is nobody dancing. Make sure your iPod is fully charged too (and keep your charger handy just in case).

Online Wedding Registries

You can create wedding registries online and save the hassles of going into the store and get the sales pitch about how this is the time to request just about everything you will ever need. This way you can select items you wish for in the comfort of your own home. You can also track your registry online at many retailers, so be sure to look into that when selecting who to set up your wedding/bridal registry with. If you know that you have guests in different countries see if the retailer accepts orders from outside the country and how they handle shipment, transactions etc. just so you can get an idea of how easy/hard it will be for your guests to use these services. People love convenience and often it saves a lot of time and effort for your guests if they can order things online and have it delivered right to the groom and bride (and with the bonus of not have to worry about traveling with the gift).

Being married myself, I too have gone through all the wedding planning mayhem. There were times when I felt overwhelmed and it seemed as though, the more things I tried to get done, more details would pop up that I would have to deal with. Much as I loved my fiancé, who is now my husband, I couldn't help but want to scream, with frustration, at all the things that needed to get done. Maybe you're feeling stressed too and that's why you pressed our panic button.

First of all, you need to STOP! Just stop and listen to me for a minute and maybe this will help a little bit. Although I ultimately don't know exactly how you feel or why, I would imagine that you do have a lot on your plate and you're thinking about all the things that need to get done because you want your wedding day to be absolutely perfect.

Since my own personal wedding experience, I have made these discoveries. There are basically 3 types of stressors. Once you can identify which stressor is bothering you, you can tackle it and get rid of it.

Sometimes, we are our own worst demons. When I was planning my wedding, I had personal issues that I had to deal with. I tend to worry quite a fair bit, so it didn't surprise me that I would worry that I wouldn't fit into the gown or find the right shoes or that my hair would look like a mess or that I wouldn't be able to sleep the night before the wedding and end up with huge bags under my eyes. I finally realized that I was driving myself crazy worrying about all these things that I could prevent ahead of time, just by preparing myself and taking it one step at a time.

So, I started to eat healthier, but I never starved myself because I love food too much and I needed the energy for all the wedding planning. I ate more veggies and fruits and skipped the occasional bag of chips. But, if I wanted those cookies, I had them and I enjoyed them. I ordered the gown in my actual size, rather than assuming I would lose enough weight to fit into a smaller size. You can always take in a gown but having to make it bigger would be difficult. I also found myself a makeup artist who stayed the entire wedding day for an additional fee.

I also had friends who at times, wondered if they were doing the right thing, not because they didn't love their fiancés, but because they were worried about how getting married would change who they were as individuals and whether they'd be able to fulfill the commitments and responsibilities of being married. So, I'll tell you exactly what I said to them.

You are completely entitled to have your own feelings and doubts and you have to embrace them no matter what they may be because if you try to suppress how you feel, it will only make it worse. At the same time, you have to keep things in perspective. Yes, you are going to get married, but that doesn't mean you'll be changed into a totally different person overnight. You'll still be the same person you've always been: quirky, funny, whatever. Experiences over time will add more layers to who you are and that includes, experiences you will have with your future husband.

And, as for responsibilities, all humans have responsibilities, whether or not they're married. Getting married means taking on a new role which comes with new responsibilities and expectations, not just from your fiancé, but from yourself too. So, you've had responsibilities and expectations before and you know you can handle them. Your fiancé loves you for who you are and you don't have to worry about meeting his expectations or your own. You will both be working at this marriage together and you'll both try to reason and talk things over and if you ever get weighed down, you can always turn to him for support.

My suggestion to you: Recognize when internal stressors are bothering you, acknowledge them and tackle each one individually while keeping things in perspective. Remember, you can be your own worst enemy so stop it before it gets out of hand.

External Stressors

External stressors for me, means anything outside the realm of you and your personal thoughts. External stressors could come from family, your fiancé, people you hired, your co-workers, or whatever else it may be. The most stress, for me, came from family members who all wanted different versions of what they thought would be my best wedding. Since it was my wedding, I was actually thinking that maybe I knew what I wanted best? So, I did a lot of tongue biting while smiling and thanking them for their ideas no matter how much I didn't want to listen anymore. At the end of it all, I realized they gave suggestions because they really cared enough about us to speak out.

Maybe you're worried about budget. That's external too. For our wedding, we were initially anticipating 90 people on our guest list which quickly ballooned into 200. We knew this would put us into a financial crunch, but at the same time, they were all close friends and family. So, we agreed to keep it at 200 and we were really careful about our spending. Eventually, I realized, it's not about how much money you spend, but about how much thought you put into the wedding. That's what people notice most. So, we spent more on what was important for us and we cut back on areas that were of less concern. We also paid expenses off gradually throughout the wedding process so that we were never left with huge bills to pay.

Then, there were all the little external details that took a lot of juggling and mediation. We ended up changing our wedding date 3 times, our time of the wedding changed from 2:00pm to 10:00am, and we were very limited in what we could do for cultural reasons. Would you believe it, at the end of all that, we had a great wedding and everyone enjoyed themselves!

My suggestion to you: Be patient. Delegate and give away whatever responsibilities that are not a priority for you. I didn't even choose my bridesmaids' gown or the colour. I only asked that they not choose a morbid colour, or our families would freak, and that they both wear the same colour. The rest was up to them. They chose beautiful gowns, just like I knew they would!

Stressors You Cannot Control

There are just some things that are beyond our control. You can't control the weather or what other people do. You can't control the plumbing at the reception hall or the clumsy hands of "Uncle Bob" who's just spilt wine everywhere. And, by nature, you really shouldn't even bother worrying about these things since they are beyond reach.

That didn't stop me though and so, I worried about the rain or someone dropping the cake or whether all the guests would get lost and not find the reception hall, and my husband and I would be the only two there. You know, these are all things that your mind does such a good job of distorting.

Even if the cake was dropped, the day would still be beautiful because there are two loving people getting married and what could be better than that? For my wedding, my bouquet almost never made to the ceremony and our "Just Married" sign flew off on the highway and some guests showed up late for the reception. But, my now husband and I just took it all in stride. We thanked the florist for making it in time since she had gotten lost, we laughed about the sign, and we embraced late guests for being able to make it when they could.

My suggestion to you: realize these are incredible fears that your brain plays out on you. Know that no matter how much you worry about them, you cannot control the uncontrollable. So, let it be and just plan for those you can prevent. In the end, it's about you and your fiancé. And that's all there is to it.

I hope our little chat has helped you in some way, to feel a little calmer about the whole thing. I know there's a lot going on and I know you're probably feeling the weight of it all. But, you know what? You will get through it and you'll be amazed at how quickly it'll all go by and how much fun you'll have even if a few things fall off the wayside. It doesn't change the fact that you love your fiancé, does it? Believe me, if I did it even after planning everything for 3 separate dates and times and I'm still around to laugh and talk about it, you'll be just fine.

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Design your dream wedding dress
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Wedding trends for 2009

Chocolate brown and robin's egg blue are out. Yellow and green are in. Tall floral reception centerpieces are way too trendy, while short arrangements of fruit and plants are rising in popularity. Keeping track of the latest and greatest wedding trends can be tough for the average bride-to-be. You know what you like and you know what you can afford, but weighing that against what's "of-the-moment" can leave a bride second-guessing herself when it comes to her own personal wedding style. Still struggling with your overall wedding aesthetic? Check out our top four reception and decor ideas for '09.

Birds for Brides

Birds of a feather may flock together, but when it comes to brides, they're flocking to avian-inspired invitations, decor, and detailing. If you're planning an upscale event, consider a bridal bouquet that includes peacock or ostrich feathers, or hunt down some vintage birdcages to suspend over your reception space. Have your heart set on an intimate ceremony and reception? Add folksy elements like a bird's nest ring "pillow" or a handmade lovebirds cake topper.

Earthy Organic Elements

As the organic movement continues to grow, many brides are turning to gardens and forests for cool ideas and inspirations. Sure, fancy flowers and vases will always have their place, but why not make Mother Nature an honored guest at your reception table? Birch bark cake stands and coasters are starting to gain popularity, as are bright fruit towers, succulent plant centerpieces, and apothecary jars filled with moss and stones. Looking for a chic but cheap solution? Hit your local flea market and stock up on colorful vintage tins; then plant fresh herbs in them. Not only do they make funky centerpieces, they're also great fresh favors your guests are sure to love.

Fun Food Monogramming

We've seen them on runners, napkins, and cards, but couples are really looking for new ways to (literally) leave their mark! Monograms have become a hot wedding staple, but these days, brides are actually adding their stamp to dinner, drinks, and dessert. Planning a backyard barbecue? Buy a meat brand designed with your monogram and sear it into each entree. Looking for something a bit more upscale? Create monogrammed petits fours towers for dessert, or ask your caterer to hire a barista who can pour your monogram in the froth of guests' cappuccinos and lattes.

Great Guest Activities

It used to be that wedding guests were limited to eating, drinking, and dancing at the reception, but these days, brides and grooms are coming up with other cool and creative ways to keep their family and friends entertained. From silhouette and caricature sketches to tequila and beer tastings, the activity can be totally dependent on the bride and groom's personal interests or themed to fit the event itself (for example, a cigar rolling tutorial at a casual Miami Beach affair). Love the idea, but on a tight budget? Set up a Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit tournament tied to your wedding theme.

More from WeddingChannel.com

When in the process of planning your wedding day you will probably be picky about every last detail, and one very important area to look at carefully will be the wedding decorations.

One place to look for wedding decoration ideas is the internet. You will be inspired by all the different ideas and themes. Just look at the pictures of other weddings to get an idea what sort of wedding decorations appeal to you and your partner. Once you have a few wedding decoration ideas in mind you can go ahead and personalize it for your special day.

Are you looking for a fun wedding theme? If you are both fans of the popular show Star Trek for instance, then go ahead and plan your whole wedding around it.

You want your wedding decor to appeal to your guests, although it will be a personal choice as to what you and your partner like - sometimes it can be good just to let your own instincts take over.

Be sure to choose colors that compliment each other. You may have more than one favorite color but if they don’t look good together then the overall look won’t be very appealing to you or your guests.

The actual wedding ceremony decorations are much more formal than perhaps the wedding reception decorations, but you can make both of them special by adding your own personal touch.

The wedding venue is going to be pivotal in choosing your wedding decorations, and it should be chosen with care. If you are going with an outside venue and are trying to make everything soft and romantic, then be sure to carry this decoration idea forward to the table settings at your wedding reception.

You can add pretty candles and ribbons to compliment the floral arrangements. Try adding in purple, silver and gold for a nice touch of elegance. How about decorating with wedding balloons? If you color coordinate them with the rest of the decorations they will look stunning.

And last but not least don’t forget about decorating the wedding car! Just be sure to decorate it to fit in with the wedding theme.

If you plan ahead with your wedding decoration ideas so that everything goes together you will be very pleased with the results. You will also have a wonderful day to remember!

If we look around, we will surely know the internet age is here. Today you will find many brides and grooms sending out email wedding invitations. This may seem to get the message out quick and efficiently as far as prices go. On the other hand, this takes a good bit of fun out of traditionally sending and receiving wedding invitations through the post office. However, you can find some interesting and unique wedding invitations today.

Unfortunately, many couples have no clue when it comes to finding what they want when searching for something unique on their wedding invitations.

It is possible that when some couples try to find unique wedding invitations that someone else does the choosing for them and come up with something more traditional. Figuring out your personal style is the place to begin. When you understand your personal style, it becomes easier to find those things that are most complimentary to your style.

There are so many ways for you to select something unique for your wedding invitations. For instance, you should consider what you want to send to others as wedding invitation and whether they are unique wedding invitations. You really should consider them as a vital part of your wedding stationary theme. When you do this, you can better coordinate everything from your bridal shower invitations to your thank you notes. Remember, your wedding guests will be expecting your wedding invitations to be a teaser as to what to expect of the wedding itself.

That idea put a very different perspective on what I was looking for and how I wanted to present myself. I also thought about the colors I wanted because this can be so important. I decided to make the wedding stationary a complimentary color to the total wedding dcor. Since we are using peach and lavender for the colors, I found a wedding stationary that was a different color to match.

One unique wedding invitations are those that have the save the date magnet. This is very influential in getting your guests to show up for the wedding, since they can place the magnet on their refrigerator and this reminds them to mark the date on their calendars.

I also found that you can use a unique font style to make your invitations more interesting. I was told (and I was glad I listened) to go with an interesting font but not one that people couldn’t read. That was helpful because I get overwhelmed easily. I finally decided on a blind embossed invitation so it looked like the letters would just pop out of the invitation.

It is essential that you make sure to send out your save the date cards at least 6 months before your wedding to ensure that people do save the date. This will help you get the ball rolling to keep people interested in the upcoming affair.

If youre having a tough time deciding on your wedding invitations, you can always check stationary stores. There are many stores that deal exclusively with weddings and are experts in creating unique wedding invitations. One thing you need to remember is that in order for your wedding invitations to be unique, it need not be something extravagant, it can be simple and yet unique.

WeddingBeau.com is an ideal resource for anyone who is planning a wedding. Find unique wedding invitations, wedding ideas, unique bridal favors, bridal gifts, bridal accessories and other wedding supplies at WeddingBeau.com

We’ve all been to receptions that have been customary - we acquire as good as applaud a brand new tied together couple, watch them dance, as good as suffer baked sweat bread with them.

Including the guests is an excellent way to get people out of their chairs, meeting people they might not otherwise know and feeling like they are truly a part of the celebration, not just observers.

One fun as good as active diversion that can be played by all your guests, together with grandma as good as immature children, is “want it now”.

In this game, you designate a master of ceremonies (if you have a DJ for your wedding reception, this mortal can serve as the DJ). The MC will have a list of “wants” prepared before the reception. Everyone sits at their tables, and waits to hear the command. The MC says he wants a mortal with painted toenails. All the women with painted toenails run to the front of the room, toward the MC. Each time a plateau sends someone to the front first, they get a point.

Points should be tallied during the course of this game and prizes awarded at the end of the game. Be sure to have some obvious “wants”, as is the painted toenails, or a man with a mustache or a child with a pink dress. But also include some surprises, like “a man with a brown purse” which will require a man to find a woman at his table with the brown purse and run up to the front of the room with that.

Another fun marriage accepting diversion that includes your entire guest is low-pitched chairs regulating organisation as a chairs. All an organisation line up as good as kneel upon a single knee. A women proceed personification a diversion of low-pitched chairs, though when a song stops, they contingency find a knee to lie on. No “chairs” have been private during a chronicle of a game; though instead people have been separated when possibly a male falls down when a lady finds his knee or when a lady falls down. Both have been out possibly way, as good as if both tumble down, they have been additionally both out afterwards (as good as maybe a bit bruised). This is a fun diversion that mostly brings upon gales of delight as good as adds to a loose accepting atmosphere.

If most guest have been roving a good stretch to a marriage or don’t know most alternative guests, it’s regularly fun to embody a diversion that will concede them to right away usually get to know any alternative though a bride as good as husband as well. For this game, you’ll need a MC again, that can be a really effusive partial of a marriage jubilee or a DJ. An accepting guest has been damaged in to dual groups that can be as elementary as carrying people equate off “1, 2, 1, and 2″ as good as so upon until a complete guest list is possibly a “1″ or a “2″.

The DJ, or MC, offers a series of questions relating to the bride and groom. The teams should work together to answer the questions, then as quickly as doable wage the answer. The bride and groom will confirm if the answer is correct or not. This is an excellent way for otherwise “stranger” guests to get to know one another and have some fun in the process. It’s also an excellent way to get to know the bride and groom!

Organizing games during a marriage accepting is a good approach to get people concerned as good as has them feel they have been indeed a partial of a celebration. It’s additionally an approach to fill time, if marriage planners know this isn’t a “dancing” organisation or if we wish to disencumber people up for a prolonged night of celebrating. Whether a tiny or vast wedding, accepting games work for usually about any group.

In addition, don’t pretence marriage accepting guest will be angry or angry by these active games. Most people inform to marriage planners they indeed suffer being some-more active as good as carrying fun games to fool around during a marriage reception.

What advice do you have for a frugal wedding? We’re getting married in the fall of 2010. Since we are both in our early twenties and don’t have a lot to spend we were hoping to keep our wedding as small as possible. We were thinking no more than six to eight people including ourselves.

Glad you asked. My wife and I were married in the summer of 2003. Our wedding was actually pretty frugal, but afterwards we recognized several additional factors that would have made it even less expensive. Here are eighteen tactics worth trying to cut the costs of your wedding event without diving into cheapness.

1. Avoid guest list bloat.
For some people, it can feel very tempting to invite hundreds of people to the ceremony. Howver, with each addition to your guest list, you’re adding a person that’s of lesser importance to you compared to the people you’ve already invited. To a degree, this was a trap we fell into with our own wedding - our guest list grew and grew to the point where we invited people that we didn’t know well simply out of a sense of obligation. Instead of just adding more and more people, consider inviting fewer people and making the event more intimate. Try cutting your list in half and see if you’re happy with it.

2. Ask for wedding help instead of wedding gifts.
We were lucky that several of our friends and family had musical talent, so they were able to provide musical accompaniment for our ceremony. We also have a close friend who is an extremely skilled amateur photographer and he was willing to serve as photographer for our ceremony as our wedding gift - after the ceremony, he provided high quality digital images of everything.

3. Have the ceremony at home, or outdoors.
You may find that the cost of renting a building for your ceremony and reception is expensive. Instead, consider using your own home (or the home of a parent) for your ceremony, or perhaps a public park with a beautiful view. In each case, you can also have your reception outdoors, often eliminating the cost of renting a place as well as creating a memorable ceremony.

4. Do the catering yourself, or hire a family-owned restaurant.
For our wedding, we handled our own food preparation and catering with a lot of help from my wife’s family. This drastically reduced the food costs for the ceremony. If this isn’t your forte, look around your community for a family-owned restaurant and ask the owners directly to cater your wedding. Family-owned restaurants are always the first place to check - they will almost always go the extra mile to make your wedding special and will also charge a reasonable rate.

5. Go minimal with the flowers.
Instead of having huge piles of flowers everywhere (something that will only really last for an afternoon), instead simply go with a single rose for each bridesmaid and a very small bouquet for the bride. If you know someone with a rose bush, you can actually easily make your own bouquets the day before the ceremony by cutting the roses yourself and trimming away the thorns.

6. Choose very personal books for groomsmen/bridesmaid gifts.
It’s often customary to give gifts to one’s bridesmaids or groomsmen. One very effective (and frugal) gift is to give personally important books to each person. Choose one that expresses something personal that you feel is appropriate for each member of the wedding party and hand-write an inscription on the inside, noting that the gift is for the wedding and why it’s an appropriate book.

7. Make your own invitations.
With a quality home printer and some time, you can make very classy invitations on your own. My wife and I picked up a simple blank invitation kit on sale at Staples and made our own invitations to our wedding. No pictures or anything - just a very classic font and simple text. It looked stylish and didn’t cost us much at all.

8. Use a good home stereo system for the reception music.
Rather than hiring a DJ, just use your own home stereo (or the stereo of a close friend). Put speakers around the dance floor area - there’s no need to spread them around the reception room. Then just create a few mix CDs from your own collection - there’s all the music you need.

9. Have “vendor cards” in exchange for reduced rates.
If you’re hiring people to provide services for your reception (musicians, a DJ, florists, caterers, photographers, etc.), offer to advertise for them in exchange for reduced rates. At the reception, put a small card in each person’s place that lists the businesses responsible for each service at the wedding, along with their contact informationc. Since this tends to be very effective advertising, many businesses will happily provide services at reduced rates in exchange for this opportunity.

10. Contact the local university for musical accompaniment needs.
If you’d like live musical accompaniment for the ceremony (and perhaps for the reception), one place to look for low-cost musicians is at the local university’s music department. Contact them and ask if there are any students who are studying a particular instrument or vocal work and see if they’re available to provide music for your wedding. It can help them with their resume and save you on this part of your wedding.

11. Patiently shop for any decoration needs.
Michael’s, Paper Warehouse, and Hobby Lobby all have sales somewhat regularly throughout the year - and they all sell supplies that can be helpful with your wedding. Know what you’re looking for as far in advance as possible and let the sales come to you. Michael’s in particular is a good place to shop, since they often have very strong coupons in the Sunday paper that are perfect for wedding decoration supplies.

12. If you’re getting married in the church you’re a member of, ask the ladies’ auxiliary for help.
Most churches have a women’s organization that is very happy to help with wedding preparation in exchange for a reasonable small donation. Get them involved - they can take a lot of worry off your shoulders for a relatively low price. At our wedding, the “church ladies” were a great help with church decoration and other helpful things on the day of the ceremony.

13. Buy dresses together when a sale is on.
Similar to the tip for shopping for decorations, you can often save a significant amount of money by shopping patiently for dresses as well. Many dress stores have sales on holidays such as Memorial Day - keep an eye out for such sales. You may also want to shop together so that you can all save during the sale.

14. Rent tuxedos as a group.
Unless you have a specific reason for owning a tuxedo (and few people do), you should rent one. It’s often useful to rent the tuxedos as a group through the same business, as you’ll often get a group rate. It’s often useful to rent through a place that’s fairly close to the site of the wedding so last minute adjustments can easily be made.

15. Make a simple honeymoon, not an ostentatious one.
A huge, over-the-top honeymoon might sound fun, but it’s far, far cheaper (and often more enjoyable) to have a much more laid-back honeymoon. Instead of planning a big trip, just hop in the car and spend a week or two together just driving around and enjoying being married. The fewer plans, the better - and the cheaper.

16. Involve your closest friends and family in the preparation.
As you’re developing plans, you should get your closest friends and family involved with the details. Quite often, they’ll have surprisingly good ideas that can save you money and effort - perhaps they’ll know someone that can cut you a deal on a certain part, or maybe they’ll just volunteer to help out with that piece. Good friends and family are always there to help, so you might as well use it.

17. Plan, plan, plan.
List everything you can think of and walk through these items step by step. The earlier you get started - and the more things you think about early on - the less “last minute stress” you’ll have and the more time you’ll have to find sales and discounts and other good ideas.

18. Don’t stress.
Something will probably go wrong at the last minute - a little detail of some sort won’t work out. For us, the pastor almost missed our rehearsal dinner, so we barely rehearsed. Don’t worry aboout it - just assume something little is going to go wrong and don’t respond by throwing cash at it. Most likely, no one will even notice the little issue, and quite often someone in your wedding party (or someone helping out) will come up with a pretty good solution to fix things.

Learning the Secrets of Wedding Album Design

In this post professional wedding photographer Chas Elliott shares some tips on creating Wedding Albums.

An introduction to wedding albums

If you have been to a recent bridal show, you have witnessed the impressive growth of an entire industry revolving around wedding albums. Some brides are even choosing their photographer based on the quality of their albums. For those photographers who have mastered the art, making albums has become a key revenue generator for their business. In fact, I have spoken to photographers who have lowered their coverage prices and put more energy into making high-end albums. Even with significant coverage price reductions, many photographers are generating higher profit margins due to increased album sales. The key is creating a custom one-of-a-kind album that your clients will love. This can be very intimidating and push you out of your comfort zone behind the camera. To take the edge off creating your first album, we will explore some techniques the professionals use.

What are the style options?

Most albums fall into two categories, flush-mount or matted styles. Both can be bound in beautiful leather and look very elegant, but there is a significant difference. Matted albums are ones you have probably seen from the days of yore. They consist of actual photo-prints that slide inside pre-cut matte layouts, typically 1-4 photos per page. There are several layout options available with this style, but your flexibility and creativity is limited because can’t deviate from the provided template. To me, that is a deal breaker and is the reason this style of album is becoming less popular.

Flush-mount albums, sometimes called “magazine style”, are much more versatile. You are only limited by your imagination and graphic design skills. Each page is digitally printed as a single image and is then hard mounted to give thickness and strength. You can drop in as many images as you would like, use background images and have images span the entire width of two pages. Some album companies use a technique of one seamless photo with no split, just a fold down the center.

So which style do you choose, flush or matte? In reality, it’s not your choice; it’s the bride’s. I recommend you have a sample album of both types to show perspective clients, but I generally steer them towards the flush-mount style because of the higher image count and the uniqueness of the book.

Which images should I use?

The most effective albums tell a story, and fortunately, with every wedding there is a special story to be told. I start by creating a time line for all of the wedding events and then pick my favorite images for each. A good photo workflow (ratings and keywords) is critical in speeding up this process. As you open an album, it’s nice to have the first few spreads be preparation shots, or images of the bride and groom getting ready in their respective rooms. In fact, during the event, I often shoot specific images with the album in mind, such as buttoning cuff links, putting on makeup, or preparing the gown. Turning the page takes you through the entire event, highlighting moments that were captured, often ending with the bride and groom exiting under a shower grain.

Tips: Don’t spend too much time worrying about the flow. You will find that once you begin planning, it’s the album images that will drive the design process. Also, don’t forget to take lots of “detail” shots throughout the day. Flowers, decorations, shoes, rings, candles etc. will make great subtle backgrounds and complimentary filler images for your page spreads.

Design Process

So how do successful photographers create their albums? There are basically three choices: 1) Outsource it, 2) Buy specialized album design software, or 3) Photoshop it.

Outsourcing: This is becoming a popular alternative to the time consuming process of album design. Companies like Pictage, which host images on their site for your client to preview and purchase, will also take the images you choose and create a full album design for free. It’s then available via their online web album designer, which is quite good. This allows you to modify your album after your clients have a chance to review it and provide input. Doing a simple Google search you can find other companies, such as Forbeyon (URL 9), that also do the album creation for you. Of course quality work comes with a significant fee so you may want to eventually learn the art yourself.

Software: There are some software companies coming on the scene that claim to make the process easy and efficient. They range from being very expensive to free. A good start for your research is to find your favorite album company and talk to their sales department to find out if they include design software or if they have recommendations. Some popular players are Art Leather, Leather Craftsmen, Zookbinders or PictoBooks.

Photoshop: Building an album from scratch in Photoshop is perhaps the most technical but also the most powerful way to create your albums. Many photographers prefer this method because they find limitations with other design packages. If you go this route, a valuable tip is to create templates as you go. After you have completed a few albums, you will have a huge timesaving collection of page spreads, which can be reused and modified for future projects. If you are just beginning, there is a decent video training DVD from SoftwareCinema on Photoshop album design that will get you started. For Photoshop training in general, you can’t beat the titles found at Lynda.com.

To give you an idea of the results possible with two of the above-mentioned methods, here are two examples I previously designed. The first one was done completely within the Pictage web-based album designer. The second one was created completely in Photoshop, my preferred method.

Final Thoughts

Look around on the web and take note of some of the stunning album work being done by industry leaders. After you have created your first album, purchase at least one sample album for use in your consultation visits or bridal shows. Having a sample on hand is the perfect way to showcase your work and book those clients. Most album vendors offer substantially discounted “studio samples” and the investment is well worth it.

Chas is a professional wedding photographer in the Washington D.C. area. You can see is work at www.chaselliott.com.

Read more posts like 'Learning the Secrets of Wedding Album Design'

Destination: Dream or Nightmare?

There's nothing quite like the idea of saying "I do" in a quaint Tuscan villa or walking down the aisle with the Hawaiian sun setting behind you. But once you've decided to forego the local wedding ceremony in favor of exchanging your vows in a fabulous, far-off place, other complications can arise.

Which location is the perfect destination?

How will you plan it all from so far away?

What if guests can't afford it but you go ahead with it anyway?

Bickering Bridesmaids? Solve the Problem

Each of your bridesmaids was chosen because she plays an important role in your life. But although you love them all, they may not get along with one another. Wedding expert Sharon

Naylor suggests trying these five tips to stop the squabbles and increase the harmony.

Weddings and the accompanying engagement parties and showers can get stressful and out of hand for many reasons. Here are the top reasons why planning weddings may not be as fun as you hope—and some wedding tips about what you can do about managing this wedding stress now.

1. You need to feel loved by your parents.
In my research, many women who wanted elaborate weddings and other related celebrations hoped that the even would make them finally feel love from their parents. The celebrations became the woman’s way of finally “getting something” from unhappy childhoods of divorced, neglectful, negative, abusive or absent parents. Many brides-to-be who were not the “favorite child” especially longed for “spectacle” parties where the glare of being in the spotlight for even a few hours or days might overcome their feelings of being unloved. Some brides felt a “gotcha” effect—they finally were able to squeeze some effort, money and attention from their parents and family. After all, the brides silently reasoned, how could my family deny me “my day?”

Yet, putting all your unhatched love-eggs in the one basket of wedding related celebrations usually only leaves you with rotten eggs. Don’t expect these events to make up for anything. One stress-busting wedding tip to test whether you are looking for love in all the wrong places is to pretend that, in addition to the wedding, you are having only one other related celebration such as an engagement party or bridal shower and that your wedding is small, warm, tasteful but no way near “over-the-top” either in expense or in image.

In addition, you agree to give up or greatly modify your “dream wedding” of being married on an island, mountain top or at the latest “in place.” Can you live with these limitations? Or, do you suddenly feel a big dip of disappointment, despair and depression?

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, how would you rate the lack of love you feel from your parents? Now examine all your reactions and see what you’ve learned. Remember, weddings can’t make up for past hurts. Events are too short-lived to make up for anything—only a positive change in the long-term interactions between you and your family can do that.

Finally, pay attention to the amount of friction you feel and the number of squabbles you experience with your parents. Wedding plans often accentuate or re-ignite submerged and unresolved childhood feelings. But don’t think that a wedding can resolve these problems. Instead, see these heated disagreements as a sign that you have some personal issues that you need to address within yourself and your family over time. Seek pre-marital counseling and vow to continue working on these areas after you are married. Happy couples are able to understand, manage and change their family relationships and not re-enact them in the marriage.

2. You want your wedding planning to show others from your childhood how far you’ve come in life.
The more outrageously expensive and exclusive (the WOW! Factor) of the event, the more the woman hoped it would erase and redo any previous, unwanted images of herself from others. “Putting on the Ritz” serves the same emotional purpose of the unpopular, ugly duckling who makes it big, turns into a swan and then goes to her high school reunion. These inflated celebrations are the equivalent of sticking out your tongue and going “Nyah, nyah.”

But this “going overboard wedding plan" is just a flash-in-the-pan shortcut to feeling valued, special and attractive. The general rule of thumb is that the more lavish and over-planned the event, the more negative the self-talk is inside the head of the bride. If you felt ugly, misunderstood or overlooked, then a big deal feels like the best medicine. But the real medicine is how you live your life.

To test whether you are asking your wedding to make up for the past, try this wedding stress tip. Make a list of how many times you’ve said or thought “if only Heather, Samantha, Tiffany or whoever could see me.” Also, keeping a journal can uncover feelings about yourself and your past hurts. Finally, chart your “disappointments” when your plans don’t match your fantasy. No wedding is perfect—and no event can ever fill the hole in your soul. Smart brides don't add more stress to their weddings by expecting a wedding to heal the past.

3. You and your family want your wedding plan to show the world how far you’ve come in life—or
how much you now “belong” in the upper class. Shame about former socio-economic status and class can also put pressure on a bride and her family to have an over-the-top event. If your family’s country-club or business set has seen wedding parties of twelve bridesmaids, then it feels like a “lesser” celebration not to at least match the event. When your wedding has to "prove something," you add more stress.

A smart bride decides NOT to compete with these “others.” Understated events always win. Keep it simple and warm. The WOW factor in weddings is not necessarily based on big bands with poor imitations of original songs, elaborate table settings, gowns and banquet halls. Guests want to come away feeling happy, joyful and included. Think back on weddings you’ve attended where the band was too loud to hear the person sitting next to you, where the food was served with too formal and cold an air, where you felt “stuck” at your table and where the awesomeness of the event made you feel diminished and left out rather than part of the celebration.

One of my smart bride clients who came from an upper class family decided to avoid “keeping up with the Joneses.” On her wedding gift registry she listed favorite charities for her guests to donate to instead. Her centerpieces consisted of a wreath of silk flowers where each guest could pluck one to wear. In addition, she placed a small picture frame for each couple to take home. The buffet consisted of both fancy food and childhood comfort foods. One part of the buffet featured game meat and shellfish, and various stations offered pasta, pizza, meatloaf, turkey, cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies. Guess which food the people liked the best?

Smart brides know that no one event can make up for past hurts. These smart brides recognize that wedding stress and family issues go hand-in-hand. Smart brides acknowledge these issues and work hard to face them and manage them over time. They recognize that family relations, especially, usually include unresolved feelings. These brides, with the support of their new husbands, work together to improve and heal past family issues. Smart families of the bride also spend less on the wedding and put more money aside for buying a home or making investments—and leave a little bit for a uniquely personal (but not over-the-top) honeymoon.

Author's Bio

Dr.LeslieBeth Wish, EdD, MSS, MA
Nationally noted Psychologist and Social Worker, Lic. as Clinical Social Worker, SW 7132 FL; 3941 MA; 2850 MD.
www.lovevictory.com
Be a part of the Strong Women and Love Research Project.
I am a psychologist and social worker, nationally recognized for my work with women's relationship and career issues and my work with soldiers and their families. I invite you to participate in my research by taking the survey, which you can find on my website, www.lovevictory.com. Click on the upper right Research Box to learn more. I will draw at random the names of three women who will win a free one-hour counseling phone session with me and a copy of the book when it is released.
You can also follow the love adventures of my cartoon character Almost Smart Cookie. You can access her adventures through my website. Just click on the link under Cookie’s face.
My work as the Clinical Director as the New England Institute of Family Relations, the first Masters and Johnson-based sexual dysfunction clinic in New England, and my research-based book, Incest, Work and Women (with my name as LeslieBeth Berger), earned me national recognition and honor as a pioneer in sexual dysfunction and women's love and career issues. My book uncovered the connection between women's childhood abuse and their career problems.
That research sparked my next ground-breaking project on the relationship problems of today’s strong, capable women, age 20-40+. I am writing this next book, Strong Women and Love to help women get over their mistrust, fears and unhappy, unhealthy dating patterns and learn to date and love smart!
I am a regular feature contributor to major self-help sites such as helpstartshere.org, the award-winning consumer site for the National Association of Social Workers; w2wlink the premier web community for professional women, networkabundance, a multimedia community and selfgrowth, Yahoo and Google's number one self improvement site, where I am the family expert.
My expert advice is frequently quoted in many major newspapers, magazines and websites such as The Washington Post, USA Today, Women's Health, US Weekly, More, VivMag, Better Homes and Gardens, Woman’s Day ,For the Bride. I am a speaker for non-profit, corporate and university organizations. I offer sound, research-based relationship advice that makes sense -- specializing in issues such as smart dating, women's relationship advice, career coaching, families, post-traumatic stress, sexual dysfunction, and leadership training.
My Education
University of Massachusetts, Doctorate in Adult Developmental Psychology; Bryn Mawr College, Master in Clinical Social Service; Georgetown University Medical School: The Family Center, three years-post graduate training in marriage and family with the internationally esteemed Dr. Murray Bowen; Ohio University, Masters in English; Carnegie-Mellon University, Bachelor in History and English.

Additional Resources covering Family can be found at:

Website Directory for Family
Articles on Family
Products for Family
Discussion Board
Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, the Official Guide To Family

Are you getting married soon or do you know someone who is? Perhaps your child or grandchild is getting married in the next few months and you'd like to help them plan their big day. If that's the case, you've got to check out the tip we're featuring on our homepage today. It's all about a Web site called the Wedding Mapper and it basically walks you through the whole process of planning a wedding. I know it's a little different from our normal fare here at WorldStart, but we thought it was fun and I bet you'll enjoy it too. Give it a try!

Tools to Simplify the Planning Process

Planning a wedding is exciting, but making so many decisions can be exhausting! Use these three tools to narrow down your options, decide what you really want and make the planning process more peaceful.

Have you been designing your dress since you were a little girl? Build your dream dress in three simple steps.
Tie together every detail of your wedding by finding the perfect theme.
How will you spend your first days as a married couple? Whether you're looking for an adventure or some time to relax, pick the ideal honeymoon destination.

What Brides Like You Want to Know

The key to overcoming newlywed financial woes My husband, Rick, and I knew we would be married shortly after we began dating. While much of our courtship was picture perfect, we did have one recurrent issue: our spending habits. We were the classic combination of the frugal saver and the fun loving spendthrift. I was the saver. While I loved the fact that he spoiled me with dinners and jewelry while we were dating, I knew I would not love the credit card bills that would become "ours" on the other side of marriage. Foreseeing future issues, we signed up for a ten-week class, called Crown Financial, at our local church.

The class was great and really helped us draw closer to like mindedness as we entered into our new roles as husband and wife, as well as our roles as co-owners of a joint bank account. I have to admit that I was slightly nervous about how we would apply all the theories we learned to the reality that we were now living in. We went round for round at first as we both wanted ultimate say on how the money we were given at our wedding should be spent. The more we discussed (argued) our points, the less we understood one another's view. After a few weeks, we decided to use a tactic taught to us in our financial class: communicating.

I was generally surprised at the difference communicating calmly made when I tried to explain my viewpoint instead of getting defensive about his. After some lengthy conversations (and a few more arguments), we came to some agreements on spending. I knew I needed to "let go" and not try to control all of his spending and he realized the need to show restraint when it came to non-essentials. When we sat down to plan out our budget, we decided to give each other a cash allowance that would not have to be accounted for. My husband loved the freedom of spending money on whatever he wanted without having to always run it by me, and I loved that I knew there would be a limit to it.

In time, tolerance turned into appreciation for one another's spending habits. Although my husband cannot understand why on earth I experience buyer's remorse after purchasing a DVD, he loves when I come home and inform him of a great deal that I find. He was delighted when I was able to get an incredibly cheap rate at a five-star resort by bidding on it at a silent auction. He even developed the habit of asking me if I knew of any deals before "surprising" me with lavish weekends away.

Rick still splurges now and again on things that I would consider wasteful at best, but I try really hard to let it go. I try to shower him with appreciation when the expensive gifts come my way, and I do my best to hold my tongue when he doubles or triples his cash allowance. I find the more we communicate and the less I nag, the more effort he puts into trying to save money himself. We even started having contests to see whose receipt indicated the greatest amount of grocery store savings. To my shock, he has actually won several times and now asks for coupons before heading to the store. He is, however, quick to inform me that such great savings will allow us to buy that big screen television sooner than we thought.

I know that the way we each prefer to spend money really has not changed, but discussing our differences, hearing one another out, and putting a plan in place has made all the difference in the world.

a variety of ways to save money on your wedding, but it's always difficult to decide what to cut from your wedding wish list. Instead of cutting something you think is a wedding must-have, you can combine two items that will both save you money on your wedding and showoff your creativity. The DIY Wedding has a list of 17 creative wedding favors which you and your guests will love.

If the weather is likely to be hot, put a pretty straw fan on each chair before the ceremony. You can put a tag on the handle with your names and the date, if you desire.

For an intellectual crowd, try bookmarks or bookplates printed with your names and the date, packaged in glassine envelopes for safekeeping.

For a rowdier crowd, create custom temporary tattoos with your names and the date—there are lots of Web sites that offer this service.

It's easy to make personalized crossword puzzles and word searches using free or low-cost software found online. (Try www.crosswordweaver.com) Hand them out with pens or pencils printed with your names and the date.

An ingredient and matching recipe will extend delicious memories of the weekend into your guests' own homes—think small potted basil plants with instructions for making pesto, or a tiny jar of perfectly proportioned spices with a (formerly) secret family curry recipe.

Who doesn't love fragrant homemade bath salts? It takes seconds to make them from sea salt, kosher salt, or Epsom salts and essential oils. Choose a scent that evokes the time and place of your wedding, and package them in small screw-top or cork-topped glass jars (www.save-on-crafts.com has a good selection at affordable prices). Recipes abound on the Internet, so choose one and make a test batch a month or so before the wedding and make sure it turns out—and keeps—well.

One artistic bride I know made coloring books for the kiddies and the young at heart. She drew pictures telling the story of how she and the groom met, photocopied them, punched holes in them, and bound them together with ribbon. She stashed one in each hotel bag, along with an assortment of crayons.

A homemade sachet full of lavender will keep the moths away from your guests' sweaters.

Seed packets are colorful, useful, and good for the planet. The same is true of saplings—you can get them for $3 a pop at www.arborday.org.

Years ago, monogrammed matchbooks were de rigueur at fashionable weddings. Today, there are tons of customizable styles available, ranging from kitschy to posh—and all of them make a stylish, retro keepsake that will remind your guests of your wedding, whether they're lighting up, or lighting a fire in the hearth. Try www.foryourparty.com for a great selection.

Another idea that falls under the "useful" heading is making your favors multitask. Create place cards out of beautiful, quirky, or useful objects that people will want to save or reuse:

Tiny picture frames make excellent homes for place cards. Just print out sheets of names and table numbers and slide them in. You can even place a Polaroid i-Zone camera (www.i-zone.com) on each table, or near the guest book, for people to snap postage-stamp-sized pics to slip into the frames over the course of the evening.

You also can make a place-card holder out of any object that can be discreetly slit with an X-ACTO knife to hold a piece of card stock. Corks from wine or champagne bottles work beautifully (a wine bar near you will undoubtedly be happy to unload their extras).

Any small fruit, such as lady apples, Seckel pears, or mini gourds, can work beautifully, too—just slit the stem and slide the card firmly into place. (Beware outdoor weddings and wind; some fruit stems may be too delicate to hold cards in even mild gusts.)

Many varieties of seashells could cradle small rectangular place cards in their bowls—much better than the ready-made seashell place-card holders that will set you back $10 or more apiece.

A smooth stone looks elegant holding a pretty place card flat on the table (a perfect idea for outdoor events in windy weather—you can even stencil the table number, or the guests' initials, on top).

For a smaller wedding, if you or someone you love happens to have a large toy collection that's ready for a second life, this could be the perfect opportunity to spread the joy: A tiny figurine or stuffed animal at each place can hold a place card on its lap, or in its hands. A Matchbox car could support a place card on its windshield, or a Slinky could cradle one between its coils.

For a quick and easy (though more expensive) alternative to a DIY favor that still has a high creativity quotient, consider a souvenir from the city or state where you're having the wedding, such as a kitschy postcard, magnet, shot glass, or keychain.

Tip: Making mix CDs featuring your favorite tunes for all your wedding guests is tempting. But it's pretty time consuming to burn all those disks, not to mention illegal (making one hundred or more copies of a song definitely strains the limits of "personal use"), so it's probably better to skip the CD favor.

Okay grooms, let’s talk about the man’s side of the big wedding day and focus on finding an affordable wedding ring (or wedding band, as it’s called for guys). Generally the bride is much more concerned with her wedding ring than the groom is about his wedding band, but it’s still a good idea to devote some attention to it so you can find something that is both cheap and that you like. After all, you’ll be wearing your wedding band for the rest of your life hopefully!

The good news is of course that most grooms really aren’t concerned with purchasing elaborate, expensive wedding bands. Instead, most men prefer simple gold, silver or sterling wedding rings with no elaborate stuff on it. Men consider these types of rings to be less showy and more manly, and I am certainly in that camp. Although there are wedding bands for grooms that include diamonds and other fancy decorations, not many men opt for this type of jewelry.

Here’s a big tip when it comes to choosing a wedding band: many times, the ring that you find and one jewelry store is for sale at much lower prices at another store in same mall or shopping center. Definitely don’t buy the first men’s wedding band that you find, because I guarantee you can find that same ring much cheaper elsewhere. Plan on spending at least a few days researching local stores and even online options for purchasing your wedding band.

There is another option that some men don’t mind and that has no shame at all, and that is to go to a local pawn shop or look at local ads in the paper for used or secondhand wedding bands. Most grooms would rather buy a brand new wedding ring, but keep in mind that you can save hundreds of dollars on your wedding band if you buy it secondhand. No one but you will know that someone else wore your wedding band, and it will look just as good on a groom’s finger!

So grooms, remember the rules for finding the perfect men’s wedding bands: don’t buy the first one you see, be careful with your money, and keep an open mind when it comes to buy a wedding ring second hand. And if you do want to spend lots of money on a brand new elaborate ring, that’s your prerogative!

Playing Dress-Up

Before you schedule appointments at bridal salons, be sure you have an idea of what type of wedding dress you want. Get started by checking out our Build Your Dream Dress tool! It lets you play around with different styles and silhouettes and helps you determine which will best flatter your figure. Plus: Sexy dresses are in! Watch this video for this year's hottest designs.

Wedding Note: No need to blow your whole budget on the dress. For 10 money-saving tips, click here now.

Happy planning!

Anne Chertoff
Weddings Producer and Author of From "I Will" to "I Do"

Beautiful Wedding Flowers

Create Lasting Memories With Beautiful Flowers for Your Wedding

The groom is handsome, the room elegant, and the bride has never looked more beautiful. But without flowers, this picture just is not complete. For one of the most memorable events in your life, create elegant looks for wedding flowers and bouquets.

Use some of our favorite ideas and ingredients for wedding flowers to put together elegant floral bouquets and decorations to rival the beauty of any blushing bride.

· For a truly elegant and formal look, the bride's bouquet can be done in all white flowers. Without any other colors to distract, all attention is on the bride at this special moment. White flowers such as roses and lilies come in many shades of white, from ivory, cream, or pale beige to a white with just at tint of pink. Choose flowers in shades of white that will compliment the color scheme of the wedding, the reception, and the bridesmaids' dresses.

· Rich colors can really make a floral bouquet stand out and draw the eye. Choose colors that enhance the color scheme of the wedding and the bridesmaids' dresses. Select from the full spectrum of flower colors including soft pinks to deep, rich cranberry, delicate mauve to deep purple, butter yellow to bright rust, and blush pink to hot fuschia. Flowers in colors that match the dresses will look subtle, while contrasting tones will call attention to the flowers.

· Choose flower buds that look like oval berries for a wonderful compliment to fully opened blooms. On long stems and in clusters, they accent a bridal bouquet with their delicacy.

· For an elegant, custom look, have your bridal bouquet and bridesmaids' bouquets hand-tied. Wrap the stems to the bottom with complimentary ribbon or let the stems hang loose. If you'll make the hand-tied bouquets yourself, have the flowers delivered with long stems. Keep the bouquet in water until needed, then clip off about 1" at the end and dry off the stems so they don't bleed on the gowns. If the wedding day is going to be long and hot, consider making two bridal bouquets, so that you'll have a fresh one for photos.

· If you won't be able to part with your bouquet at the end of the day, plan ahead. Make up a small bouquet resembling the official bridal bouquet and use it on the guest book or gift table. At the end of the day, this will be the one that you toss.

· A flower girl will look almost angelic with a delicate halo of flowers on her head. Bridesmaids, too, will love the special touch of a blossom or two tied into the hair.

· Use similar flowers for the groom and groomsmen boutonnières as you use for bridesmaids' bouquets. The attendants will look like they belong together. If the bride carries an all-white bouquet, consider the same for the groom, such as a small boutonniere of stephanotis, gardenia, or white rose buds.

· It's a wonderful and thoughtful touch to provide flowers for the people who are special in the lives of the bride and groom and those who have helped with all the planning for this special day. This includes parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins, brothers and sisters, and friend who gave showers. Ladies could be given a single long-stemmed rose with streamers, wrist corsage, or small arrangement to carry with a purse. Men can easily pin on a small boutonnières. Just a simple token is sufficient and will be much appreciated.

· Depending on the location of your wedding, you'll have many choices for containers for your wedding flowers. Elegant urns filled with formal arrangements standing at the front of a formal church or baskets overflowing with long stems in an outdoor garden look equally as beautiful.

· To soften the look of a formal church, attach small floral arrangements to the pews on the aisles. Use lots of greenery to hang elegantly and use ribbon for accent. You might even see if candles in votive holders would be permitted for an evening ceremony.

· For an outdoor ceremony, create a bridal aisle with "shepherd's hooks" stuck into the grass hung with baskets of flowers. Be sure the hooks are secure in the ground and use lengths of ribbon to catch the breeze.

· Remember to provide flowers to lead the way from parking area to the wedding ceremony and to the reception. If the reception is at the same site as the wedding, tie flowers along the path. If the wedding is outside, create floral arrangements to guide guests to the reception site.

· A small arrangement for the Guest Book Table and the Gift Table will help to complete your floral offerings. Simple vases of blossoms add a special touch to restrooms, too.

Don't forget: when planning wedding flowers, make a list of everyone and every location that will get flowers. The florist or friend who is buying the flowers will need to figure out numbers to buy the right amount.

Have a Hostess at Your Buffet ...

If you have someone who can manage your candy buffet,you can purchase an adorable apron (they come in many colors (red, green, pink, yellow, etc.)). It will add a professional and whimsical look to the table. And, it's a great keepsake gift for the hostess. This retro apron also makes a nice gift for your attendants, for a bridal shower gift, or even a gift for mom. They are available at GetGoRetro.com.

Stage Your Buffet Table

Designing and staging a wedding buffet table is "key" to showing off your candy. And, to make your table look professional, be sure to have a theme and color scheme. Other tips to make your table look professiona are as follows:

- One of the many ways to set a professional looking buffet table is to first set out your plain table. Before you start laying down any fabric, add some risers. These will add height to the different bowls on the table.

- Risers can be: plastic milk or cola crates (they are about 1.5 foot wide and 2 feet long. )Wooden boxes and books will also work.

- Lay out the crates, books, or boxes in different locations on your wedding table. Try stacking 2 tall risers in the middle of the table, then work towards the lower edges of the table. You want to create "peaks" and "valleys."

- Drape a plain tablecloth over the table. It can be white or the main color of your wedding colors.

- Then add accent fabric. This can be a smaller square or rectangle piece of fabric (this fabric should be a different color). This fabric can be draped on top, scrunched and set on top. or laid on top to flow over the table.

- The accent fabric can be the secondary color to your theme, it can be printed, or just be an elegant pattern.

- Then, add fun memorabilia, for instance, photos, college letters, flowers, candles, framed photos, or any other fun details that reflect your as a couple and the wedding.

Candy is Dandy at a Candy Wedding Buffet

One new popular wedding trend is the candy buffet or confection bar consisting of a variety of candies and treats placed in varied sizes of glass containers, jars or decorative containers on a table. The buffets can serve a two fold purpose. They of course, taste good to your guests, and can work as your wedding favor as well. Your guests can select the candies of their choice. And, chances are there will be no leftovers after your reception to clean up.

Simple, they are a huge hit with guests. It's different, colorful and edible. Everyone loves candy, from the youngest child to the oldest adult who is young at heart. Candy brings back memories and adds a nice nostalgic touch, it lets your guests connect back to any fond memories they have of childhood. It's a great stimulus to the senses..

Here are some tips and ideas to help you create a beautiful candy buffet at a low cost.

- If you are thinking about having a candy buffet, I cannot stress enough that to pull it off it you have to consider and implement the "wow factor" that your guests will have when they first walk into the reception room.

- Find affordable containers at the Dollar Stores, Wal-Mart, Pier One, Roberts Arts & Crafts, Ikea, Michaels Arts and Crafts, Ben Franklin, Joann, Details Event Central ; and even yard sales / flea markets. Make sure they are clear glass containers that are both affordable and look nice. Buy large and small containers to have a nice variety. A brandy snifter or martini glass is also a lovely container. Think outside of the box!

- Keep in mind that guests will need to reach into the vase to pull out candy. Choose vases with wide enough mouths to allow for easy access.

- Decorate the table to add character to your table and make your candy buffet table look fabulous. Consider using:

- You can add extra eye catching dispensers such as a chocolate fountain, or perhaps a gumball machine.

- If money is not an option or space, you can rent a carnival candy station (with cotton candy cones), popcorn machines, or even buy popcorn already in containers.

- Remember that if you use containers to place them on display blocks that are then covered by the table cloth and assorted decorations. This creates a tiered effect and makes the table visually appealing. An old catering trick is to take a milk crate and turn it upside down on the table, then cover with a cloth. Put some of your containers on top of that.

- Coordinate your table with your wedding colors. Color makes a difference – coordinated colors look more elegant than random selections. If you are having a theme or holiday wedding such as Christmas, ribbon candies, candy canes and other holiday candies add a nice touch.

- Use your wedding colors to inspire your candy selections. You don’t have to stay true to the colors you selected for the rest of the wedding, but it is a great way to tie it all together.

- The thing to remember with color is that it makes a difference – whatever colors you select. Candy buffets with coordinated colors look much better than random-colored candy selections.

- Purchase affordable candy – don’t forget those after holiday sales. Purchase candies after Christmas, Valentine’s Day and Easter and put it away for your wedding. Candy usually stays fresh for at least 6 months.

- When choosing your candy think about: What was your favorite childhood candy? Candy bracelets, ring pops, or maybe a simple lollipop? This will add personalization and fun to the table.

- Chocolate dipped strawberries, pretzels, popcorn, chocolate covered sunflower seeds, gourmet taffy apples are also a very appealing sweet to add to the buffet,

- Buy sodas from Jones Soda -- where the cans are personalized with the bride and grooms face and name. (It's a definite conversation piece.)

- Also, be sure to have some clearly marked sugar free, peanut free, milk free, and gluten free candies for those with food allergies/ intolerances or special diets. Just so everyone can be included.

- Small Chinese food take out containers make cute containers. You can get these in your wedding colors, or add ribbon or stickers with your name and date.

- Cello bags, tins, or even cake bags are another option. Personalize your candy bag or container with a little sticker, a tag or even ribbon. Find a way to dress up your container to add a custom touch. American Bridal has a wonderful selection of "different" and unique take home containers; including boxes, wedding chair bags and more.

- A good rule of thumb is 1/2 to 1 pound PER GUEST. People tend to eat more when it’s a candy free for all! This comes out to about 40-50 pounds of candy.

- It's up to you, but somewhere between 8-12 types is a good variety. Too many varieties and you won’t have enough of anything. Too few varieties, and you’ll likely run out of the “top choices”.

- Purchase 15-20 pounds of each of these candies. This may seem like an over abundance of candy, but a large table overflowing with candy has a presence at your wedding and does not look like something you threw together at the last minute.

- It depends on the theme of your buffet. Decide if you want an all white buffet, or do you prefer that the candy buffet matches the color scheme of your wedding, or are you having a theme wedding? If for example you are having a beach theme wedding, you can serve candies from the boardwalk: saltwater taffy, caramel apples, fudge, peanut brittle. Another option is to have a retro candy buffet displaying such items as candy bracelets and necklaces on the elastic cords or the little waxed bottles filled by sugar water.

- Get candy that is individually wrapped such as Hershey Kisses, or has a hard coating (like M&Ms). Gummi items can get hard if they sit out too long, licorice is too sticky for guests to pull on all night unless it is individually wrapped.. The most successful candies will be wrapped or hard. And, again, remember to buy scoops.... no one wants candy when hands have been in it... especially if there are children at the wedding. And, don't forget the Jordan almonds ... they are a staple at weddings.

It can be. It all depends on what you buy and how much and what you buy. If you are going to make a buffet don't skimp. Do it right. Plan by how you want the display to look, not how many guests are coming. Having enough candy is crucial in making your candy buffet look good.

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Economy Candy Homepage
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My Candy Supplier
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SweetFactory
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www..MYMMS.Com
Offers custom printed chocolate candy for all your gift giving and celebration needs. Treat yourself or your loved ones with custom printed M&M'S(R), custom printed blends, or a selection of 22 creative colors.

Happy Feet

Whether you're wearing kitten heels or stilettos on your wedding day, standing in them for hours and hours will probably cause you some discomfort. If you're wearing a floor-length gown, here's one trick many brides use to ensure they can dance the night away. Plus: Not sure which dress style is right for you? Watch this video to see the latest bridal gowns.

Wedding Note: Still searching for the perfect pair of pumps? Don't forget these important shoe-shopping tips.

Happy planning!

Anne Chertoff
Weddings Producer and Author of From "I Will" to "I Do"

Last week we did a post on resurrecting the lost art of oratory and we will soon begin a weekly post on writing and delivering a great speech. But before we start that, we wanted to do a special post on the single piece of oratory almost every man will be asked to give at least once: the best man speech.

Indeed, at some point in your life, one of your buddies or your brother will probably ask you to be the best man in his wedding. This is a great honor. One of the duties of a best man is to give a speech wherein you say a few kind words about your friend/brother and his new wife. If you’ve been to many weddings, you know that oftentimes best man speeches can quickly devolve into an awkward, drunken spectacle. The mixture of booze and lack of preparation results in the best man rambling and sharing inappropriate and embarrassing stories about the groom in front of hundreds of family and friends.

If you don’t want to make yourself look like a huge ass and you want to truly be the best man, here are a few pointers to keep in mind as you prepare to give your speech:

1. Prepare. Don’t walk into the wedding reception thinking you’ll know exactly what to say when you get there. If you have a few months before the wedding, start mulling over some ideas for the speech. Begin brainstorming and jotting down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes you might want to use. If you don’t know a lot about how your buddy and his wife met, ask. Think of stories from you and your buddy’s past that show what a great guy he is. The goal of the speech is to celebrate the couple and make them look good.

2. Stay sober. Sure, you want to enjoy yourself, and yes, alcohol may help take the edge off of giving a speech in front of hundreds of strangers; they don’t call alcohol liquid confidence for nothing. But make sure you’re not sloppy drunk when you give your speech. You don’t want to be completely uninhibited or you might say something you’ll regret later on. Besides, a real man doesn’t need a crutch to help him tackle a challenge. Be man enough to postpone your own gratification until after the speech is completed.

3. Open by expressing gratitude. Thank all the people who made the day possible. Single out the bride and groom’s parents by name, and offer a toast to them for not only putting on the wedding but for raising two fine people. Thank the guests for coming.

4. Tell a story-make a connection. The ideal way to structure a best man speech is to find a connection between a story about your friend and your support for the couple. Share a story about how your friend would always lament that he would never find a woman with x,y, and z qualities, but how he finally did in his new bride. Or tell a story about the moment when you were hanging out with the couple and you realized your friend had found his match. Another good angle is to talk about the way that the bride and groom balance one another. Relate a funny (not embarrassing, see below) anecdote in which one of your buddy’s personality traits tripped him up in some way. For example, the story could be about how your friend is very shy and how this shyness caused some humorous event to occur. You then talk about how bubbly and outgoing his bride is, and how they therefore balance each other and make a perfect team.

5. Avoid controversial topics. Keep your speech on topics that aren’t controversial, offensive, or embarrassing. You would think this is common sense, but people somehow forget this when they’re standing with a microphone in their hand in front of a crowd of people. What gets people in trouble is attempting to be funny by sharing some embarrassing story or cracking some lame joke about a ball and chain. It usually comes out horribly and no one laughs. It’s okay to share a humorous anecdote, but not one that gets laughs at the expense of your friend and his new wife and embarrasses them and their guests.

Don’t talk about the groom’s past relationships, don’t tell people what you really thought of your buddy’s wife when you first met her, don’t slam the food, don’t make comments about “looking forward to the honeymoon” while winking at the bride- basically, just use some tact and common sense.

6. Avoid inside jokes. I hate when people do this in small groups. I hate it even more when people do it in front of larger groups. If you want to keep people’s attention, save the inside jokes for when it’s just you and your friend.

7. Keep it short. Nothing irritates people more than some rambling drunk going on and on and on. People have probably already listened to the maid of honor and the bride’s father give their spiel. By the time they get to you, the crowd is ready to eat cake and get on with it. Shoot for no more than five minutes.

8. End with a quote. An easy way to end is by using a quote that wraps the speech up nicely. In “How Do You Know When She’s the One?” I shared the quote my father-in-law used at my wedding. You can’t go wrong with it: “Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” After that you can simply say, “My friend has found that person.” The End.

9. Raise your glass and propose a toast. Raise your glass and say something to the effect of: “Here’s to a lifetime of happiness and love for ____ and ____!”

10. Remember to be yourself. No need to get formal or try to be someone you’re not. And there’s no need to follow these instructions exactly either. Simply use them as a guide and be yourself. Let it flow naturally. Use your natural voice and mannerisms. Make it personal and sincere and say things from the heart and you should be golden.

1. Open by thanking those who made the day possible-end with saying “Thank you to all those who have made it here today.”

2. Transition to your speech: “I am especially glad to be here on this occasion to celebrate this wonderful day with my friend/brother.”

3. Talk about how you know the groom, why you’re grateful for having him as your friend, and why he’s such an upstanding guy.

Things to Ask BEFORE the Wedding

My best friend is getting married soon and it prompted me to have the discussion with them about their individual finances. It wasn’t an in-depth conversation on my part simply because they already know each other so well, financially and otherwise. However, it makes for a great post, so here we go.

My friend’s conversation went like this. Note: I’ve edited the names and mushy stuff so as not to make you sick…too late for me, though! ;)

“I need to know before we get married. Kristy says it will help us not get a divorce.”

Now, keep in mind Edward was trying to play a video game and wasn’t really in the mood to play 20 questions.

I laughed and explained I didn’t want to know for my own personal information; it was merely a discussion they needed to have. He snorted and went about playing his game.

“For crying out loud, do you see me playing this game? Let’s talk about this later!”

More grumbling ensued as he paused the game and walked into the room where we were sitting. He gave me a dirty look before he tossing himself into a chair and pouting.

“About average…it would be better if you hadn’t decided you wanted this house right now!”

At this point he noticed she was reading from a list. Naturally, I gave it to her.

We laughed at his pained expression and waited for his answer. Although this one was really a moot point as I’ve already sat down with both of them and gone over their reports together. It’s just a formality…and we like to irritate Edward.

The volume of my friend’s voice caused me and Edward to look at her a little askance. She rolled her eyes, wrote it down, and moved on to the next question.

They tried to skip this one, but I wouldn’t let them. I asked instead where they saw themselves in five years. Edward said he wanted to have his business degree and have my friend stay home with the kids. She said that was fine with her.

Once that was decided I asked what kind of salary he wanted to make. He looked at me with a deer in the headlights look and rambled off $100k. She wrote it down and we moved on – he was clearly uncomfortable.

“The house and the life insurance policies. If I die, you’ll be set for life, but don’t get any funny ideas!”

“See how she is. She’s making me answer all these stupid questions and I don’t see her answering them.”

Lest you think Edward is really mad at me, he’s not. He’s just a contrary person and doesn’t like to do what he’s supposed to do. And I only mentioned these questions to her, she decided to ask them right then and there just for fun - though I don’t think Edward would agree…hehe.

“We’re not getting married now until we pay off our debt, what’s the difference?”

But, this question was supposed to ask how a couple plans to financially support kids from a previous relationship.

The exchange was actually quite funny because I know they were only doing it since I brought it up. I don’t know if they’ve seriously sat down and talked about it, but I’m sure they have since they’re both responsible people. However, people as a general rule don’t always share this information – and that’s the why the number one reason for divorce in the US is money.

Having recently been married myself, last February, I'm acutely aware of how expensive weddings have become in America. Couple that with how our economy is in free-fall and it's clear that anyone looking at a wedding in the next few years will have to keep things as economical as possible. Gone are the days when you could sell a couple share of Google and have your wedding all paid for.

Here are seven tips you can use to help reduce the cost of your wedding.

Remember, every dollar you save is one that you can blow on the honeymoon!

-Jim

Today starts a new series on one of the toughest, most stressful parts of planning your wedding when family is involved. What do you do when your mom or mom-in-law are WAY too invested in the plans, push their ideas on you, drop a guilt-bomb on you every time they want something their way, and pout when you don't give in? Dealing with the moms comes with a huge amount of baggage, since no matter how old you are, you still have a tug of wanting to make your mom happy. She's excited about the wedding, after all, so it's tough to say No when her ideas clash with yours. But you have to...because not only will you lose your most-wanted elements of the wedding day, but -- even worse -- you'll allow a pattern of her bossing you around. Give in now, and you may not ever be able to rein her in. Yikes!

So today's tip for getting back to Peaceful Planning with the moms is this: learn how to put on the brakes. Up until now, you may have allowed many of Mom's ideas since you were trying to be nice [People Pleaser alert!]. But it's just getting out of hand. So call her or visit her and say this: "Mom, I love it that we're getting to plan the wedding together, and I know you're excited that we'll have (menu item), (song), (flower type in the centerpieces), and (religious reading in the ceremony.) So let's hold off on talking about any more plans for a while so that (groom) and I can talk about what we want for the rest of the wedding plans, okay?" Just establish a stall. Make it a few weeks. And if she still calls or e-mails with ideas, tell her you'll get to those ideas next month. YOU have to set good boundaries, and you can do so with a smile. Very often, it's not what the moms are suggesting, it's how often they're suggesting something that freaks you out.

Moms may not admit it, but they tend to throw a ton of ideas at you before The Other Mom has a chance to do so. It all comes from wanting to stay Top Mom in your life. So keep that in mind, and practice good empathy when Mom 'forgets' and keeps those ideas coming. A gentle reminder is all that's needed to buy you some time and return you to peace. Tell your groom that you've established a Breathing Period so that he can slow down his mom too.

His mom calls every night at 7pm. You cringe when you hear the phone ring, and you almost wish it WAS your old college alumni group looking for a donation. But it's not. It's His mom with yet another 'request' to change a plan you've made. As tough as it is to rein your mom in when she goes overboard, it can be triply tough when it's your groom's mom, and you don't have a lifetime of skills in reading her tactics. This becomes a big fight between many brides and grooms when the groom is able to just shrug off what his mom requests (even if he doesn't give in) and the bride steams and sulks because...you're not going to like this, especially if you see yourself in it...it seems his mom is trying to be Alpha Female and override your decisions. It happens a LOT.

Grooms don't see a power play happening here, and you may see one that isn't even happening. It might be that his Mom just saw a different color of pillar candle at the craft store, and she wanted to suggest a change from white to cranberry. She's thinking, "That would be nice for a fall wedding" and you're thinking, "How dare she try to change my plan!?!"

Before you complain to your groom, who's very likely to get mad at you for criticizing his poor, innocent mom (even if she *is* a little controlling), forget about wanting your groom to 'fix' his mom. It's not gonna happen. The only thing you can fix is your attitude toward her, and not jump right into Anger Mode. She just suggested a pillar candle. That's it. If you say, "It sounds lovely, but that doesn't work for me," and say it calmly and with a smile, you just diverted a major battle. Never put your groom between you and his mom.

If she's really controlling and guilt-trippy, you might be tempted to 'punish' her by saying No to everything she requests. That's not a good idea, and it puts you in the wrong. Just stick to your priority list, handle each request separately, see if she can insert her idea in another wedding weekend idea (like the rehearsal dinner) so that you're being a good partner to her, including her where you can, and making an effort. Revenge is not sweet when you're a bride.

Ask your groom for some tips on how you can learn to handle his mom's requests. "I don't want to misinterpret her when she sighs and says we're not including her, even though we are, so please give me some skills here. I really don't want any stress between us," is a great way to get your groom to help you and admire you for your maturity and your respect of his own family dynamics. Plus, guys like to fix things. And keep the Peace.

Don't try to 'diagnose' the Mom! You may have some really good theories about why your mom or mom-in-law has lost her mind, but it does no good to approach her with 'I know you're just feeling adrift because of empty nest syndrome' or 'I know you weren't happy with your original wedding, so you're trying to get your Do-Over through our wedding now.' Yikes! Especially if you deliver these lines with a dramatic degree of faux-empathy, this is just condescending and will fire up a conflict like you could never imagine. "Who are you to tell me what my 'issue' is?!" is the battle cry of the Mom who is now going to fight you at every step.

Even if you were trying to be understanding, if your intentions were good, it's never a good idea to tell Mom she has issues. So keep your focus on your goals, what you'd like to accomplish as you work with her, and show your dedication to building a relationship with her by taking her out to lunch, or sending her a thank you e-mail.

And think about it...how would you like it if she diagnosed you with "Oh, she's just stressed out because she has cold feet and doesn't really want to get married?"

This is a big one. From time to time, frantic brides write to me with incredibly sad stories about their mothers threatening not to come to the wedding if they don't get their way. "I'm paying for it, so if you DON'T get married in a church, I'm NOT COMING!" Wow, that's a power-play and a half! And it scares the life out of the bride. How hurtful can someone be?

If it's your Mom who's thrown this awful guilt-bomb at you, just let her cool down for a few hours after she makes the threat, because she's not going to be in any mindset to talk rationally with you if she's gotten to THAT desparate a place. Cool down yourself, because you're not going to be operating from your best mindset either. Go for a walk, punch your pillow a few times, whatever it takes to get your own anger out.

Then contact your Mom on the phone or in person as a strong woman, not a begging little girl, to say, "Mom, I know you have strong feelings about (whatever her issue is), and it would be heart-breaking for us both if you missed the wedding. But we feel strongly that we want to (insert your plan here, like 'get married in a garden'), so this matter is not something we're going to discuss anymore. We're not (doing whatever she demanded), and it's no reflection on you. I hope you'll reconsider not attending the wedding." Businesslike? Yes, aboslutely. Most moms feel incredibly guilty after making that threat, and they usually apologize right away. But some moms are stubborn, and -- like it or not -- they relish the drama they've just created. Now THEY'RE the center of attention, for doing something negative. Maybe that Mom has always been like that. Or maybe this is a stunner because your Mom is SO not like that. Whatever the case may be, this is a stressful situation that has to be resolved right away. And not by giving in.

Some brides just shrug it off and call the Mom's bluff. "Okay, but we'll miss you that day" is not the reaction the Mom was going for when she tried to manipulate you with the threat. "If you change your mind, just let me know. The cake tasting is on Saturday, and you're still welcome to come if you decide to be a part of the wedding." Let her sleep on THAT.

It's true, Moms can act badly during a wedding planning season, and the Moms I've spoken to said they have big, big regrets about taking away an ounce of their daughter's or son's happiness. Those who actually did boycott the wedding embarrass themselves to no end when all the relatives frown upon such a wicked display of control. They're not in the photos, nor the video. There's no great gown to wear. These are some of the things Moms need to keep in mind. They'd be spiting themselves! Show them this entry so that they know they didn't invent the power-play, and that it always turns out badly for the Mom in the end.

Attending an Outdoor Wedding in the Summer

Top 8 Tips for the Summer Outdoor Wedding Guest

When you first get the invitation, you're thrilled. And then you realize. It's an outdoor wedding. In the heat of the summer.

As a guest at an outdoor wedding, how do you survive the heat while still looking chic and lovely? Here are my top tips.

1. Your Outfit Look for a cotton sundress or other clothing made of natural fibers. Loose fitting clothing will be your friend. I love this green cotton party dress for a summer outdoor wedding, because it strikes the right balance between comfort, formality, and stylishness. For men, consider a light tan suit, or the old-fashioned chic of seersucker.

2. Stay Hydrated Everyone knows water helps keep you cool. So carry a bottle of water in your purse.

If you're a man, ask your date to hold it for you, or bring it in a white gift bag.

3. Horses Sweat, Men Perspire, Ladies Glow To combat sweat, don't cover your face with a thick layer of powder. Instead, do what top beauty editors do to rid themselves of shine - blotting papers. These powdery pieces of paper will absorb oils without coating skin. I especially like the blotting papers that Bobby Brown makes, which come in chic little packaging. But there are less expensive options that work as well.

4. Don't Sink! The Wedge Will Save You!Stilletos are great, but they won't work at an outdoor wedding. Whether sinking into the grass, or tripping on cobblestones, you'll wish you'd worn a more sensible shoe. A wedge heel like this Franco Sarto 'Gondola' will be far more comfortable. Or, you can go for the very trendy ballerina flat.

5. Act Like an Onion – Wear Layers Here in New York, it seems like every summer has an unseasonably cold day in the middle of June. And visitors to San Francisco are frequently surprised by how chilly it is in July. If you're traveling to another city, make sure you pack a cardigan or jacket that coordinates with the outfit you plan to wear to the wedding. Even on a warmer day, a light sweater will keep the sun off of your shoulders, preventing sun damage.

6. Wear Sunscreen It may seem like a no-brainer, but sunscreen is a must. Especially when you're trying to stay cool, the last thing you want is a blistering sunburn. You never know when the sun will shift, and you'll be standing in full sun, without the possibility of moving to shade.

7. Consider a Hat In Europe, wearing a hat to a fancy wedding is de rigueur. So adding a hat to your outfit will not only shield your face, but it will add some European punch to your ensemble.

8. Parasol Means Stop the Sun You remember how chic Audrey Hepburn looked in My Fair Lady. You don't have to be as fancy as she was to carry a parasol to shade you from the sun. Be sure to sit in a place where you aren't blocking others' views.

What to Wear to a Summer Wedding
My number one tip to you, then, is not to wear inappropriate footwear. This will be easier, of course, if you're a guy.

Choosing the Right Outfit for a Wedding
Of course, if you are a guy, you have the whole suit issue, which can be a pain if it's really hot out. I'll put up with footwear problems any day, if it means I can skip wearing a suit in the heat.

Enjoy a Memorable Wedding Reception

Entertain Your Friends in Style and Comfort

Friends and family gather for a wedding, but the reception is where they all get together to celebrate the occasion. Create a beautiful setting for your wedding by decorating your space with elegant floral arrangements, exquisite table settings, and special touches.

For most bridal couples, the setting for the wedding reception is of prime importance. It can be in the lovely hall of the church where the wedding takes place, a beautiful garden covered with white tents, or at a vineyard with a breathtaking view.

When selecting a location for your reception (and maybe for the wedding, as well) there are a number of things to take into consideration before you sign the contract.

· You might be enthralled by the beautiful view, but find out what their dishes, tablecloths, and silver look like.

If you're having a formal wedding, you won't want heavy pottery dishes, styrofoam cups, and cheap stainless flatware. The chairs may be of the folding plastic variety and you envision delicate silver chivari chairs.

· When inspecting prospective reception sites, be sure to look at every detail. Is the carpet color or pattern complimentary to your color scheme? Are the chairs in keeping with your theme? Will your guests be able to dance on the floor? Is the decor heavy Spanish and your wedding is a light, airy affair?

· Will the site allow you to bring in other, more appropriate chairs, sound equipment for the band, or let you have an alcohol-free reception? If not, you might want to consider other sites that are more appropriate for your needs. If you can think clearly, you'll realize that you can save money by deciding on a site that won't require costly rentals to create the atmosphere you want.

· You're spending lots of time ([probably months!) and money (lots!) to create your perfect wedding day. Don't be in a hurry to have it over. If it's available and financially feasible, arrange to reserve your site for the whole day. Then you won't have to rush through your festivities to clear out for another party. You'll have time to get everything ready, take pictures, relax, and enjoy your party.

Adding special touches at every turn will contribute to the beautiful memories of your wedding day. Here are some details to arrange ahead.

· Round tables usually work best for guests. Long banquet tables look impressive, but it's hard for guests to talk with each other. For the wedding party, arrange to have a U-shaped table with the bride and groom at the head. Then guests can approach the happy couple for conversation and the bridal party will still be able to chat easily.

· Most reception tables are functional banquet style and need to be covered. Choose an elegant floor-length under-tablecloth and top it with a colorful, sheer, or lace overcloth. You can rent tablecloths for large parties at party rental companies. Some companies work by mail order. The cloths are sent directly to the site and can be shipped back once the party is over. Be sure to include the high cost of tablecloths in your overall budget.

· All candles do not burn the same way or time. If you're having a short cocktail reception, small votive candles will work fine. But if you're having a dinner or luncheon, followed by dancing, you'll need tall tapers or large pillar candles. It's a good idea to test the burning time of any candles you're thinking of using to be sure they'll last through your party.

· Even if you're having a small wedding party, you can still enjoy the look of a tall tiered cake. Have the cake baker make several "fake" layers as a base for the real cake. They'll be frosted like the rest of the cake and no one will know the difference! This is a lot easier and less costly than having a multi-level real cake that won't be eaten. If you don't care about a large cake, order several sheet cakes that will be served from the kitchen. No one will be the wiser!

· Plan a beautiful receiving area for your guests. As they get out of their cars and enter the site, welcome them with floral garlands, candle-lit lanterns, or other decorations. If they'll go from the wedding site to a reception site, provide welcoming decorations along the pathway. Be sure the sidewalk is free of dust and that the whole area is cleared of litter.

· If you or your wedding coordinator have every minute planned out, it would be thoughtful to prepare a printed wedding and reception schedule for your guests so they don't miss any important events. Include the approximate for the arrival of the bride and groom, cake cutting, special toasts to the bride and groom, picture taking, tossing of the bride's bouquet and garter, and the first dance for the happy couple.

Getting everything organized ahead of time will help the celebration go on without a hitch. Take care of the details, and the rest will take care of itself.

Whenever different age groups come together to celebrate, you've got to make concessions. With wedding reception music, you may have to keep your most radical rhythms in check. But that doesn't mean your bash is bound for banality. The latest trend in wedding reception music? Mix it up! Turn out tunes that will have everyone gyrating, jitterbugging and jazzing it up. Work with your band or DJ to include some or all of the following crowd-pleasing ideas.

Latin

Salsa and merengue have fired up many a fiesta. Well-known salsa artists include Tito Nieves, Eddie Palmieri, Willie Colon, and Ruben. Mix in a little Ricky Martin if you must. Cuban jazz, which is a little easier on the feet, is also making a comeback, thanks to The Buena Vista Social Club. Guepa! Is it hot in here?

Swing

Hipsters, old-timers, and teeny tykes alike will thrill to the rousing, upbeat sounds of swing. With its rigorous drumbeats, snappy melodies, and robust brass explosions, swing can motivate nearly anyone to jump and jive. Spread the word so novices can splurge on lessons and stylin' hepcats (your grandparents) can dust off their vintage albums and start practicing. Listen to old-school gurus like Count Basie, Benny Goodman, Duke Ellington, and Louis Prima, then move on to newer crop of zoot suit rioters -- Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Big Bad Voodoo Daddies, and the Brian Setzer Orchestra.

Country

Why not let line dancing liven up your party? We recommend: "Baby Likes To Rock It" (The Tractors); "Fast as You" (Dwight Yoakam); "God Blessed Texas" (Little Texas); "High Tech Redneck" (George Jones); "The Wanderer" (Eddie Rabbitt); "T-R-O-U-B-L-E" (Travis Tritt); "What The Cowgirls Do" (Vince Gill); "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?" (Shania Twain); and "Why Haven't I Heard from You?" (Reba McEntire). Line dancing is a darn good way to get certain single friends to at least say "howdy" to each other. The lucky devils will be nuzzling to Patsy Cline in no time.

R&B

Always in style, always romantic

, R&B is sure to get your guests grooving. This genre includes the Motown hits we all know and love, plus soul icons Al Green, Barry White, and Curtis Mayfield. Spice up the mix with contemporary faves like Luther Vandross, Sade, Vanessa Williams, Lauryn Hill, Chaka Khan, Whitney Houston, Brandy, D'Angelo, R. Kelly, Erykah Badu, Boys II Men, Usher, TLC, and Toni Braxton.

Ballroom

If orchestral music, high heels, and top hats are in the cards, bring on the ballroom dancing. Formal affairs beg for dashing hints of romance

-- give your most elegant guests a chance to show off with tunes that let them waltz, tango, foxtrot, and cha cha. The rest of your crowd can learn a few steps from the Freds and Gingers or just enjoy the show. You can also hire a pair of pros to start the fancy footwork in grand style.

-- The Knot

RELATED LINK: 30 hip first dance songs

Make Your Wedding a Day to Remember

Plan Special Events and Add Extra Touches

Weddings are big business and can be a lot of work. But they can also be a lot of fun! Read some of our ideas on how to make your wedding a day you'll never forget- for all the right reasons!

You can plan a destination wedding for the wedding party and a few close friends, add sparkle to your decor with crystal decorations, have a sophisticated look in flowers, or plan a special themed wedding that has special meaning to you and your intended.

There is really no right way or wrong way to have a wedding. What's really important is that it's your special day! Plan a classic, traditional celebration, a funky, fun day, or anything in between.

If you have a wedding at your home or in your garden, decorate the space to reflect your personal taste.

If you choose a traditional church wedding, plan the decorations to enhance the style of the church and express your personality. This is your chance to have things look just the way you want them!

Here are some of our favorite ideas on ways to plan a memorable occasion for everyone involved.

· Traditional Weddings are just that: classic and elegant. You might try adding some special touches to the traditional.

o Plan a pre-wedding party to introduce your intended to your family and friends. Use the color scheme of the wedding, display your chosen china, crystal, silver, and linens, decorate with some of the flowers you'll use at your wedding, and play your favorite music. Your friends will "ooh" and "aah" and really get in the spirit of the festivities to come.

o Add pearls, crystals, and beads to everything you see. While retaining the traditional, classic look, you'll have sparkle. Sew pearls to gloves, dresses, handbags, and shoes. Add crystals, too. Place spikes of crystals or pearls in the floral arrangements, glue crystals to ribbons for hair accessories and bouquets, and attach crystals to fine wires to tuck into a bouttoniere. Glue pearls or crystals to the rim of votive candle holders or tie around napkins. Look for every opportunity. Sparkles on the toes of the bride add a touch of "whimsey" without distracting from the classic look.

o Have a camera at every pre-wedding event. This way, you'll be able to look back at the whole wedding time, not just the wedding itself. Recruit the best man, maid of honor or trusted friend to be responsible for recording each event and getting the photos in order. Be sure to list who is in the photos, the occasion, and the date.

o Plan every detail to fit the location of the events. The tradition of "something old, something blue, something borrowed, something blue" is a must for the bride. Remember the garter and tossing bouquet, don't forget the parents of the bride and groom for special recognition, and have an appropriate toast to your new spouse prepared in advance to avoid any embarrassment.

Entertain Them in Some Place Exotic

If you really want your wedding festivities to be memorable, plan something more extravagant.

· A Wedding Weekend is great for a wedding party where people come from a long distance to celebrate with the happy couple. It gives the bride and groom a chance to spend time with friends and for guests to meet each other.

o Start the weekend off with a casual barbecue where everyone can relax after a busy week. If your home won't work, ask a close friend to host the party. You might include a tennis match, bowling tournament, tables with cards, or a round of golf. No one should feel any pressure to do anything but enjoy themselves.

o Skip the formal rehearsal dinner and plan a simple, casual gathering for all visiting friends for the night before the wedding.

It can be a cocktail party or pool party, a walk on the beach, or a hike in the woods. Just get everyone together and have fun.

o Host an informal brunch or simple lunch of sandwiches and chips before the wedding. Or plan an elegant catered luncheon for all your guests. But make the timing flexible, as everyone will be busy. You don't go have to go overboard. It's just another occasion for everyone to feel included.

o The morning after the wedding, invite everyone to join the happy newlyweds for breakfast--but not too early!

· A Destination Wedding can be an extravagance and works best if your guest list is not long.

o You don't have to go far! Plan a party at a hotel in a town 100 miles away. Just getting away will make the day feel special.

o Choose a vineyard, a beach, public garden, or amusement park for the celebration. Plan your decorations and events around the location.

o If you and your friends have money to burn, plan some place exotic like Morocco or Fiji, Alaska or Hawaii. Have an informal ceremony under the Eiffel Tower in Paris or on a gondola in Venice. Everyone will want to come! When budgeting, think about transportation, hotels, and all meals. It can really add up!

o Plan and prepare your decorations at home and take them with you in an extra suitcase or trunk! It could be hard to find just what you want in some place you're not familiar with. And if you have everything done ahead of time, you'll be able to enjoy everything with your guests.

o Be sure to enlist the help of a wedding- or event-planner, as the coordination of such an occasion can be difficult.

Whatever you plan to do, be sure it captures what is important to you! This is your day, a once-in-a-lifetime event, and all eyes will be on you. Celebrate!

The One Location Technique for Wedding Photography

This post by Photographer Christina N Dickson is a continuation of her Wedding Photography Survival Tips series. ALSO view Part 1 where she covered Preparation.

You’ve done your homework. You’ve gathered your research. You’ve scouted out your locations.

Above all else, make it your goal to pace yourself. Your mind will be whirling a million miles an hour thinking through every piece of information you’ve gathered into your mind. How do you perform with intensity and keep yourself from going crazy?

I am going to walk you through one system that will eliminate stress and give you the confidence you need to produce a remarkable “first wedding” portfolio.

Too often novice wedding photographers operate on the idea that varied shots are captured only by varied locations. This is simply not true! Don’t fall into this trap! One well-lit window can provide a plethora of beautifully varied shots to satisfy both you and the bride.

How can one window be the key to your wedding photography success? One simple word: Light. At the center of a great wedding photographer’s work is his or her ability to find and work with the available light in each venue. With Church’s or community centers being the venue of choice for soft and romantic wedding ceremonies, these locations are also infamous for low lighting challenges. Window light can offer a superb solution to even the worst lit wedding venues.

Step 1 – The Location

Find a window of choice. You’re looking for a window that is relatively large, preferably with curtains, and has an outlook to a grassy area. If you are deliberate in your selection, you can create up to 8 dynamic and fresh shots with minimal set up.

Step 2 – The Details

Inside, set up your detail shots. You will want a table near the window, and different cloth textures for your background; you can use toile, lace, bridesmaid’s dresses etc. At this time, you can photograph the shoes, the ring, and any other important details on your shot list. Consider a few variables that will affect the outcome of your shots: 1) The available light from the window; 2) The distance your object is from the window, and 3) The angle of your camera to the object. Adjust any of these changeable and your shot will change as well.

Step 3 – The Dress

One of the most important shots you must capture is the special dress of the bride. After you’ve taken appropriate time photographing the bride as she does her hair and makeup, borrow the brides dress. Carefully affix the hanger at the top of the window. If the lip of the window is not wide enough, find a tack to place at the top of the window, suspend the ribbon from the tack, and hang the dress from the ribbon. The window light will create a luminous glow around the dress for beautiful highlighting.

Step 4 – The Portraits Inside

There is nothing more perfect for wedding portraits than window light. A window will provide several options for dynamic portrait backgrounds. Inside you can get a wide-angle shot of the bride in her dress with the window in the background. You can also get a few close up shots of the brides face.

Step 5 – The Portraits Outside

If your window has a lot of variety (ie, panes, curtains, sheers) you can take some beautiful shots from inside the window looking outside. This will ad a lot of artistic interest - just be sure to watch your backgrounds! Also, from the outside, you can use your window as a background for more shots of the bride or bride and groom together.

Take my advice: With the “One window = Stellar shots” equation, you will never again worry about having wedding location define your images. Ready to start shooting? Go!

Look forward to our dynamic conclusion to this Wedding Photography Tips Series with Part III: The Office Work of legalities and post processing!

Wedding Photography Survival Tips: The Preparation

To the inexperienced photographer, the first wedding is that single most daunting event that stands as Mt. Everest in one’s profession. It is a feat that could define success or failure for the rest of one’s career. Much preparation is required. Much focus is essential. Much passion is critical.

Every detail of the day is important. The clothes. The favors. The people. Tensions are high. Schedules are tight. Emotions are charged. A wedding shoot is not the time to test one’s people skills or experiment with portraits. It is a day that an experienced photographer must practice everything he or she has ever known.

However, each wedding photographer has had a “first time”. On this day, the photographer discovers the key to thriving in the world of wedding photography: An ability to take the unpredictable in stride and thrive amidst challenges.

What does this look like to an inexperienced wedding photographer? How does a novice go about capturing beautiful shots in unpredictable and varied settings? With a little bit of hard work, these 8 tips will help you cover essential preparations for a successful wedding shoot.

1. Do your research!

Find a local bookstore with a large selection of photography books. Take some time to look at books from Bill Hurter and Amherst Media. These resources will give you an incredible amount of information to walk you through the wedding photographer’s experience.

2. Determine the couple’s style

As a wedding photographer, your job involves more than capturing the events of the wedding day. You must have the ability to do so in the style that signifies the bridal couple. Are they traditionalists? Are they contemporary? Do they want color or black and white? If they aren’t sure what they like, take the time to go through a wedding magazine with them to find clips that match their style. Once you know what they are expecting stylistically, you can shoot to capture just that!

3. Create a Master Schedule

Arrange a pre-wedding meeting with the bride to plan out a 15-minute incremental schedule of the wedding shoot. This should include wedding preparations, bride portraits, bride and bridesmaids portraits; the groom and his groomsmen, the full wedding party, the family portraits, and the bride and groom. If you aren’t experienced shooting weddings, plan for extra time so you won’t be rushed or distracted by the time pressures.

4. Be connected

Be sure to get the phone number of the wedding coordinator, the best man, and the bride’s personal attendant. If (and when) the wedding schedule gets off, you will want to be sure that the wedding coordinator is in the know. And when the time comes to hunt down rogue bridal party or family members who are missing out on the shoot, these numbers are handy for extra help.

5. Have help!

Shooting a first wedding is best done with another primary shooter, or at least an assistant. An assistant will help you keep track of your shot list, schedule, managing the individuals for large group photos. In the very least, an assistant is available to carry equipment, keep track of the cell phone, and holding reflectors.

6. Make a shot list

The bridal couple will undoubtedly have shots they want. Generally, the couple will stress the importance of photos with family members attending, and the bridal party. Once you have this initial list, you can build a more detailed list for your own reference. A shot list will keep you focused and on top as you go about the 5-8 hour shooting day. As you refer to your shot list throughout the day, won’t have to worry about forgetting anything.

7. Scout out your locations

Arrive at the venue at least an hour before you are to begin shooting. Once you are on location, map out your location flow. Where will you start out and what shots will you take in that area? Where will you go next? What distractions must you watch out for in each location? Where is the light? Have a flow plan for your shoot and both you and your clients will stay relaxed through the day.

8. Put on your game face!

Remember that no matter what happens on the wedding day, there will be a plethora of uncontrolled variables. Your role is to take the unexpected happenings and run with them! If you are the picture of calm and the voice of reason, everyone else will be ok! The mark of a good wedding photographer isn’t a perfectly planned and executed shoot but rather a wedding shoot in which the photographer was able to adapt to each scenario and still capture the beautiful moments of the day.

No matter how much reading and research time you put into preparing, there is a large degree of learning that will come from that first experience. Above all, set your mind on enjoying the experience no matter what comes your way. While the pressure is on, so long as you can take nervous pressure and channel it to anticipated excitement, you’ll be just fine.

Wedding Flowers, Entertaining, Tips, and More

Create the Day of Your Dreams

Make Your Wedding an Event to Remember
Don't follow the crowd! Do something really unique for your special day. Plan an event that will create lasting memories for you and your guests.

Wedding Color Schemes
You'll find help here on choosing a color scheme for bouquets, flowers, dresses, and receptions.

Wedding Bouquets and Flowers
Get some wonderful suggestions for creating beautiful flowers for the wedding and wedding party.

Wedding Receptions
Decorate your wedding reception with beautiful centerpieces and thoughtful touches.

Tips on Doing Your Own Flowers
If you're up to it, this big job will add a custom touch to your special day. Read here how to plan ahead when you are doing your own wedding flowers.

Wedding Bouquets and Flowers
Fresh flower centerpieces and bouquets make a wedding more elegant. Browse these ideas for brides' bouquets and reception centerpieces.

Wedding Reception Flowers
Create a romantic atmosphere for your guests by planning lovely floral decorations for your reception.

Advice on Wedding Flowers
Learn about wedding flowers on these sites. Get advice on choosing a florist, bouquet photos, and find sources for silk bouquets.

Wedding Flower Tutorials
Doing your own flowers is a big job. But if you plan to do it, or have family members to help, then you'll be interested in these helpful tutorials and links.

Rose Vase Centerpiece
You'll have some easy floral arrangements if you follow the step-by-step instructions here. Make these for bridal shower tables or a rehearsal dinner.

Wedding Decorating Ideas
Find resources for flower arranging help, wedding favors, reception ideas, and more.

Flower Index
Learn about making your own floral arrangements, get flower care tips, and find out how to use flowers in decorating and entertaining.

Housewarming Gift Ideas
It's nice to have a gift to thank out-of-town guests for sharing in your special day. If you have guests coming, you'll find our favorite, and not so favorite, gift ideas for wedding and house warming gifts.

Napkin Folding 101
A custom napkin fold will really dress up your reception or shower table. Follow the easy online photo tutorials for a dozen pretty napkin folds.

Floral Centerpieces
You'll be able to adapt these ideas for for centerpieces and decorations to coordinate with any color scheme or bridal theme.

Wedding Receptions
Decorate your wedding reception with beautiful centerpieces and thoughtful touches.

Wedding Reception Flowers
Create a romantic atmosphere for your guests by planning lovely floral decorations for your reception.

Tea Parties
Tea parties are a favorite. If you're planning a bridal shower tea party, then you'll love taking a look at this joint feature with About's Entertaining Guide. You'll find tablesetting and theme ideas, menus, recipes, and more!

Decorating Styles and Trends
You might be a novice at decorating when you set up your honeymoon hoem. Would you like to know more about style? Or find out how to use the newest trends in your own home? Start with this series of decorating style guides.

Designer Interviews
Does decorating your first home seem confusing? Start with these excerpts from our designer interviews on a variety of fascinating topics.

What to do First
Follow these links to articles, net resources, advice, and information on decorating a home.

Bed and Breakfasts
If you're traveling for your honeymoon, you'll find these guides to B&Bs worldwide, from About's B&B Site, very helpful.

Honeymoons
Plan the perfect, unforgetable honeymoon with ideas on romantic getaways galore, from About's Honeymoons Site.

Travel
Get information on worldwide travel with these About sites on travel.

Before I got married last year, I wrote a post ranting about how my wedding would cost more than my college education . There is no doubt that a wedding is an extremely expensive affair, and recently I read that many people are taking out loans to pay for their weddings. I also heard of an extremely egregious story of a woman who took nearly $200,000 out of the equity of her home to pay for her dream wedding in a castle in France. Since many of my friends are getting married this year, I felt that I should write an article about how to raise cash for a wedding if your parents are not footing the bill.

Start Saving and Planning Early - When my husband and I visited venues for our wedding, I overheard a couple say that they saved for six months to get enough cash for a deposit on the venue. Then they booked a wedding date two years in the future so that they could save for the rest. This is a venue that charged $1500 for a deposit and about $7000 for the entire event. I think this young couple definitely had the right idea. They knew that it took them six months to save $1500, and they could save the rest in two years and pay it off on their wedding date. They are also wise in booking their venue early because this year the venue they chose raised prices by 16%, but they were able to lock into the lower price last year.

Consider Asking for Cash Gifts - In a previous article about Chinese culture I mentioned that we prefer to give cash gifts. On our wedding invitations to friends and family we gave information for our gift registry and also said that red envelopes are welcome. As a result we received quite a good amount of cash gifts which we appreciated very much. Depending on the size of your wedding and the generosity of your guests, sometimes it is possible to fund an entire wedding just by cash gifts. In China most weddings are paid for upfront by a groom's family, but the hosts are generally able to recover their expenses from the guests they invite.

Get Corporate Sponsorship - I heard about this idea a couple years ago. Some brides and grooms are "selling out" their weddings to corporate sponsorship. For example, some brides have invitations sponsored by paper companies and indicate the company's names in the invitations. Others turned their wedding into a giant marketing event in a ballpark to reduce the costs. This may seem tacky, but you could have a large event on a small budget because many things are paid for by sponsors. It still takes time and effort to find willing sponsors if you are willing to go this route. It basically turns your special day into a giant marketing event.

The bottom line is that starting a married life together with wedding debt is probably not the best idea. It may take years to pay off a debt incurred in one day, and that may make that wedding day not such a sweet memory. If a big expensive wedding is absolutely necessary then there are sensible ways to save and raise money for the event besides taking out a loan or maxing out high interest credit cards. Of course, before you raise cash for your wedding, you should consider cutting down on your budget as much as possible. Here on Wise Bread we have quite a few great articles on how to have weddings on the cheap:

Weddings are a wonderful time. People you love come and enjoy the celebration and bring gifts for the bride and groom. They are grateful for the kindness and generosity of family and friends. Even though they register at stores, many times they get duplicate gifts. Some stores will not let the newlyweds return items purchased through the registry without a receipt. There are some things you can do to make the process easier for them.

Something that has changed from the past is that some couples live together for a significant time before they get married. They have already set up their household, so there aren't many things they still need. It is hard to find the perfect gift, especially if someone has a limited amount to spend. Having gone through this process recently, it is important to realize that the most important thing is your presence, not the presents. The newlyweds are just grateful for your kindness and generosity whatever you may give. Here are a few things to think about when trying to decide what to give.

1. Gift Cards - Although many people think these aren't thoughtful gifts, it really is a good option. They can use the gift card to get what they need that they didn't receive. They don't have the hassle of returning the gift if it is duplicated.

2. Checks - This is a good option because they can use the money towards what they really need. There are a lot more things to pay for when you get married, such as rent deposits, car insurance, health insurance, utilities deposit, etc. The money you give can really help where they need it most.

3. Cash - This is probably the easiest option for a bride and groom. They don't have to cash any checks and they aren't limited to a certain store to use a gift card. They can use it for what they need most.

4. Gifts - When giving gifts, include a gift receipt. The store where our daughter registered would not take back any gifts listed on the gift registry without a receipt. The retailer wouldn't even give them store credit. They received several duplicates from the registry and could not take the duplicates back because of the return policy. They also received gifts like cookbooks with people's favorite recipes. This is an inexpensive gift that is appreciated very much. A nice card with a sincere, thoughtful message is another thing you can give if cost is an issue.

5. Re-gifting - There is nothing wrong with re-gifting if it is a practical gift that is new. Things from garage sales and from your attic may not be appropriate things to give to a bride and groom. They will probably end up back in a garage sale or will be given to charity. Giving a book without a barcode is a clear sign that it was bought years ago. If your gift isn't something you would like, then don't give it to someone else. Chances are that they will share your sentiments about the gift.

6. If you can't make it to the reception, and the bride and groom live out of town, ask the parents for the newlywed's address and send it yourself. If it is just a card, it isn't a problem for the parents to forward it. If it is a gift, the parents will have to package and pay to send it if you don't do it yourself.

By thinking ahead, you can give a gift that will be appreciated and will be easier for the newlyweds to return if it is duplicated. It will save time and frustration.

- Have a wedding to attend in the near future? Save yourself some time and frustration and start thinking ahead to come up with a gift that will be appreciated.

This is a guest post from Betsy Teutsch, who writes about socially responsible investing, savvy consuming, and sustainable living at Money Changes Things.

The practical side of me loves wedding registries, and the values-driven side of me has grown to loathe them as brides and grooms seem ever bossier. Registries are nothing new, of course. We registered for gifts in 1973, and as a result received two lovely sets of china and ten place-settings of silver. Beyond that, it was open season: we received all sorts of gifts we had not designated. Most we used, a few we actively hated, and many we came to appreciate and even love over time. (Regifting hadn’t been “invented” back then.). From the point of view of the brides and grooms, wedding registries have many upsides. But let’s look at it from the perspective of the gift-giver.

Other options
A few brides and grooms I know have worked to transcend the tax-assessment feel of store registries. While they feel obliged to include conventional stores on their wedding sites (because that’s what lots of their guests do prefer), they expand their suggestions, including favorite charities and causes. One couple said they would love gift certificates to local bookstores and garden shops and described their garden, giving their guests a sense of their values and passions. A few years ago we gave a giant composter to this couple, since they had included it on a wishlist, and it really spoke to me; I totally enjoyed sending it to them. The fancy china comes out maybe once a year, but that composter is used every day!

Another way some couples counteract the gimmes is to ask for non-material gifts. Recently all the invitees to a wedding we attended were asked by the bride’s friend to submit a favorite recipe, which they made into a cookbook for the bride and groom. Another woman I know did something similar for her future daughter-in-law, collecting recipes from all the immediate family, including copies of recipes written by grandmothers no longer alive. (She made copies for all the contributors, and I’m sure they are treasured!)

A nice custom in the Jewish community is to send close friends and family fabric squares to decorate, which are then sent back and stitched together to create the wedding canopy. None of these touches are instead of a material gift, but they serve to make guests feel like they are more than ATMs.

Some couples create an online donation registry in lieu of gifts, but the site notifies the couple of the amount of each contribution, something which makes some people (like me, for example!) uncomfortable. I recently received a link to New American Dream’s registry where the celebrants (brides and grooms, new parents, etc) can set up a registry asking for whatever they like, mixing purchased and guest-created items. Their sample asks for recipes, food for potluck weddings, advice, and fair-traded household things. Very nice idea for a small, simple event, but for a conventional, fancy wedding, I think it would freak people out. (It would be a nice additional alternative to a conventional registry, though; a couple could do both, and explain their thinking on their wedding website, the new de rigeur system for communicating wedding plans.)

And what about the most obvious wedding gift? Cold cash, of course. It’s nice to receive, but I can tell you, 33 years later, it’s the beautiful, thoughtful items which I enjoy, the cash long ago having been plowed into aggregate savings. Many of the brides and grooms I know are mature and earn more than I do, so in those cases money feels like a weird gift. (If the couple is a pair of starving students, money is still a great idea, perhaps along with a smaller material item.)

Let’s hear what you all think about wedding registries, pro or con, and from both givers and receivers’ points of view. Are they a necessary evil, a godsend, or something in between?

Wedding photos can be a challenge to take, because of the flurry of activities that go on and the wide variety of lighting conditions that may occur, but with the guide below, you will learn several tips and tricks that will give you the best wedding pictures of all time. Let's check it out!

One of the most critical elements in being a successful wedding photographer is preparation. You absolutely need to prepare ahead of time (at least two months prior). It's a good idea to get to know the bride and groom so that you can understand their needs and wants. Some good questions to ask are:

Asking pertinent questions like these will help you understand the requirements for the wedding photos, which will also help you take better shots!

Once you know what the wedding locations, events and times are, you should go check them out. For a church wedding, it's best to go inside the church to check out the lighting, decor and environment. Perhaps you can find a few places to stand during the ceremony, so you're not running around in a panic on the day of the wedding. It’s also important to check out the reception area, just so you know how everything will be set up.

This is a critical step. Here’s a list of the equipment you should bring to the wedding shoot:

Digital camera: This one is obvious. It’s good to have a backup analog camera as well, just in case.

Camera lenses and filters: Take along any special lenses or filters you may want to use.

Memory cards: Bring at least two 1 GB memory cards. That may seem like a lot, but you won’t believe how many shots you’ll take during a wedding.

Portable drive: This is important in case you run out of space on your memory cards.

Assistant: Try to bring along an assistant. It could be a friend or a helper at the wedding. They can help you arrange the group shots, etc., which will take a lot of stress off of you.

Here’s a typical sequence of events to help guide you when the actual wedding day arrives.

If you’re taking shots of the bride getting ready, it's best to be early. In fact, you should be one of the first to arrive so that you can set up your positions, tripods or whatever you may need.

Once you’re at the church, find out where the preacher will be standing and position yourself accordingly. Some critical shots include the entrance to the church, the aisle and where the couple will stand.

Note: Don't get too excited about your shots so early on. You have a long day of taking photos and you need to ration your memory card space to ensure you get pictures of everything throughout the day.

If there's a reception, make sure you get there before the rest of the guests so that you can find your perfect position. Receptions are a good time to capture candid shots, so have some fun with it!

If there are any formal group shots to be taken, try to start with the big groups and then slowly remove family members so that you can get various combinations of the friends and family.

So, what do you do after a wedding shoot? Well, plenty! You need to do some basic image editing, such as removing red eye, cropping and rotating. You also need to burn the photos onto CDs and DVDs, usually in a slideshow format. You should try to get the final copies to the happy couple as soon as possible.

The two of you made a decent income last year, but there's little to show for it. If you're the "saver" in the marriage, you're glowering at your new-car-buying, Starbucks-swilling, iTunes-downloading spouse. If you're the "spendthrift," you're deflecting her righteous indignation with a defensive "What? I'm not allowed to have any fun?"

Why not make this the year that you have a frank discussion about the money issues in your marriage? Insufficient funds are often a result of poor communication skills and other personal problems that result in difficulty handling money. If you don't address these issues head-on, you'll never get a handle on your money.

One problem that plagues modern day marriages is a tendency for the two individuals within a married couple to give in to "me" thinking instead of buying into the "we" thinking that should come when you join your life with someone else's.

Money stashing is a perfect example. I've been surprised over the years by how many people have stashes of money hidden from their spouses. Stashing money isn't any healthier than regularly blowing your paycheck and leaving your spouse to pay all the bills. Finding financial stability within a marriage is all about balance. Try these tools that will help solve your money problems now:

1. Start talking about money now. Take the risk to discuss your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs about money and be ready to respectfully listen to your partner's approach. Work at understanding your differences and decide on a process for negotiating agreements when conflicts inevitably arise. This will help minimize small problems mushrooming into big ones.

2. Understand gender differences as they relate to money. Men and women often deal differently with money. Women are more likely to ask for help and admit gaps in knowledge than are men. Men's egos more often get in the way of seeking assistance and education. Men are much more likely to plow ahead, even when they lack sufficient information and background on a money topic.

3. Words matter when broaching money concerns. When concerns are raised, you dramatically increase the likelihood of your partner hearing, listening to, respecting, and positively responding to your point of view if you present it as your feelings on a topic rather than a criticism of the other person's financial habits.

4. Respect each other's differences. Finding it in yourself to appreciate the ways your partner's money personality differs from yours is vital. Try to think openly about the situation for a minute. If you're a penny-pincher and you'd married another miser, you'd likely never enjoy the fruits of your hard work!

5. Share the money responsibilities. Take advantage of each partner's talents by matching tasks based upon interests and skills. Start by developing a list of responsibilities, such as paying bills, shopping for and managing insurance issues, and handling investments. Decide who will take care of each task, the level of consultation you're both comfortable with for that assignment, and how often the task will be performed.

6. Rethink your bank account structure. Separate accounts and finances often lead to friction in marriages, especially if one person cuts back on work outside the home to be with the kids, or if wide pay differences exist between the partners. I've also observed a tendency toward increased secrecy and related problems with separate accounts if spouses keep much of their spending habits private. That said, a combination of joint and separate accounts is a workable compromise for some couples. The key to making this arrangement work is setting a discretionary spending limit. For example, you must consult your spouse on purchases of more than say $50 or $100.

7. Educate yourself. The best thing you can do to improve your finances is to educate yourself about personal finance. Sign up for a personal finance course and pick up a few good books. You might also consider seeking financial advice, but be careful who you ask. Some professionals aren't really qualified to give the right advice and others have a self- serving agenda.

Attorneys generally lack the training and related perspective to adequately analyze your entire financial picture. Most financial advisors sell products, not their time and service. Consulting with a good tax advisor is worthwhile in some cases, as there are a number of opportunities for married couples to save, particularly in regard to tax breaks that they may not be aware of.

8. Set some financial goals. The best way to save for the future without nickel and diming your way through the presentis to work out a budget that you can both agree to. Analyze your past six months' worth of spending. How much of your income are you saving? Not enough? Now go through the various spending categories: dining (meals out), groceries (meals in), entertainment, taxes, car payments, etc. Set targets that cut your spending enough so that your rate of savings increases.

There is always some place to cut spending. The most common problem couples run into is that those spouses who have difficulty saving money think of everything in the budget as a necessity. There are places you can cut that shouldn't cause too much pain. And remember that you can always budget in fun things like the occasional weekend getaway so that the spender in the relationship doesn't feel like the budget has zapped the fun out of everything in life.

The biggest lesson to take away from all of this is that marriage and money can and should go together harmoniously. So many couples simply try to ignore their problems or avoid dealing with them when they realize what's up with their newly joined finances. They just need to realize that just a few simple steps can get them on the right path. By taking care of their money problems, they can ensure a happier future together.

Eric Tyson, MBA, has penned five national bestsellers. His "Personal Finance For Dummies" (Wiley) won the Benjamin Franklin Award for the Best Business Book of the Year. He is also the author of "Investing For Dummies" and co-author of "Home Buying For Dummies" and "Real Estate Investing For Dummies," among other titles. His educational background includes a bachelor's degree in economics from Yale and an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

"Let's Get Real About Money! Profit from the Habits of the Best Personal Finance Managers" (FT Press, December 2007, ISBN-10: 0-1323416-1-1, ISBN-13: 978-0-1323416-1-5, $19.99) is available in bookstores nationwide and from all major online booksellers.

Your Best Friend’s Wedding

In this tutorial, Natalie Norton shares 10 great tips that will help you survive shooting your first wedding.

Photo Credit: My good friend, wedding photographer Jonathan Canlas the great.

You were asked to shoot your friend’s wedding? Hmm. Already got suckered into it? Tut, tut, tut. Fear not! By maintaining a good attitude, establishing a strong game plan and setting realistic expectations, you truly can make this lemon into sweet lemonade.

1. Light Right:

If you haven’t already mastered lighting and proper exposure, I REALLY, TRULY recommend shooting in Aperture Priority. If you struggle with Aperture Priority, well you’ve just got to shoot in plain old Automatic. And hey, that ain’t always such a bad thing if I do say so myself. The bottom line is that you just cannot afford the chance of improper exposures when the dude (or nowadays the chick) says “you may kiss the bride.”

2. Under Promise, Over Deliver:

If you’re going make this work, particularly if this is your very first wedding, you’ve got to set yourself up for success by managing expectations. You recall the adage, “you get what you pay for?” Well friend, that doesn’t really hold true for brides. They generally expect to get what they want. Period. I’m not knocking brides. It’s their WEDDING DAY for Pete’s sake. They should get what they want on this great day of days. But you can’t assume that just because you’re shooting for next to nothing (or in fact nothing) that there won’t be high expectations for you and your work. Under promise, over deliver. You’ve got to set clear expectations that you know beyond a doubt in the Heavens you’ll be able to achieve. If for example you really believe that you will be able to deliver 100 knock out images for each hour of shooting, promise only 50. That way when you show up with 75 awesome images from each hour you shot they’ll be ecstatic!

3. Don’t Go it Alone:

Get an assistant to come shoot with you. Two cameras are always better than one. Particularly if you’re not all that familiar with yours. It’s VERY important to have a back up to make sure you’ve got two chances at each key shot.

4. Request an Infiltrator:

Have the bride/groom assign someone to you to be sure you get shots of all the key players. Its important that you document all the key attendees, especially if you’re familiar enough with the family that you should (but don’t) know them all by name. If every time your bff talks about her favorite Aunt Bessie you’re only half listening and don’t have a clue who she is, you better be sure you’ve got someone there to point her out so you can grab that shot of her wiping her eyes during the ceremony.

5. Click, Click, CLICK:

Take pictures until your trigger finger bleeds. If you’re not totally sure, check that LCD and try, try again. You’ve got to nail it. You only get one chance at this. There isn’t going to be a do-over. Shoot and shoot and then shoot some more. In this new digital age, particularly as of late when storage space is so cheap on memory cards, you really don’t have a single reason I can think of NOT to shoot like a bat out’a hell.

6. Tell the Story:

There are a handful of shots you’ll need to be sure to include. Clearly you’ll need to cover the ceremony in it’s entirety. ie rings, smooch, tears, cake cutting, bouquet toss etc. Beyond that, be sure to get a good establishing shot of the venue, some good detail shots of all the stuff she spent WAY too much money on to decorate said venue, some good detail shots of her dress (don’t forget the shoes . . . oh and the rings!!), bride and groom with their groupies, a zillion pics of the bride alone and with her man, and then any and everything else you can possibly think of.

7. Know Where to Go:

Check out your venue before hand. Make sure that you know EXACTLY where it is, even where you’re to park. It would not be a happy day for you to come out from your pro bono wedding only to have to fork out $200 to get your car off the impound lot. It’s also a helpful rule of thumb to know what you’re getting yourself into for a shoot. Try to visit during the same time of day the wedding will be held. Check out the lighting situation. Ask about the seating and be sure you’re going to be able to photograph from the proper angles without obstructing the guest’s view.

8. Get the 411:

Talk to the individual who will be performing the ceremony. There may be rules about photographing in a certain cathedral or religious reasons you can’t photograph certain parts of the ceremony. It’s your responsibility as the photographer to make sure that these concerns are addressed with the Priest etc before you show up on the wedding day.

9. Cover Your Bases:

It just may be a good idea to have a contract. I know it seems like an awful formality, particularly between friends. It’s a wise step however to solidify expectations (an extension of what we discussed earlier about managing expectations) in order to preserve the relationship. You really love this friend of yours, as evidenced by your willingness to shoot his/her wedding, protect that relationship by insisting on a contract.

10. Go for it!

You’ve made the commitment already, now jump in with both feet. Don’t let your fear and anxiety plug up your creativity. You’re going to be great!

A QUICK NOTE IN CLOSING: I’m really upbeat by nature. I generally err on the side of complete and absolute optimism. I really do believe in YOU and your remarkable ability to be a fantastic xxxx (fill in the blank: photographer, singer, dancer, plumber, pastor, whatever). I am 100% of the opinion that if you want it, it can be yours. Faith, hope and a sane amount of persistence and the world is your oyster. Truly. That said, photographing a wedding is not to be taken lightly. It is arguably the single most important day in a couple’s life. If you want experience shooting a wedding ask to shadow a pro. Shadowing is the perfect way to gain experience, there’s no pressure, no expectations, just you, your camera and a wedding you’re not responsible to document. Ah, beautiful. Not so beautiful however is your under-experienced self, a camera you don’t understand, a thousand overexposed images from the wedding day and Bridezilla, Queen Kong (mother of the bride) and the mother-in-law from you know where all in cardiac arrest when you break the news. Ugly. Ugly. UG-LY. Particularly if Bridezilla used to be your bff. I’m not saying this to discourage you. I merely want to ensure that you prepare amply before you plunge into an event as paramount in someone’s life as a wedding!

Natalie lives and shoots on the North Shore of Oahu with her wonderful husband Richie and her 3 crazy boys. You can view more of her photography and enjoy a selection of her writing by visiting her at natalienortonphoto.com.

Making a Statement with your wedding theme

Having trouble deciding what your wedding theme should be? Make sure to pick something that relates to you and your fiance. Remember, it's all about making it personal. Discover creative details for our 10 all-time favorite themes. Plus: Want to know the hottest theme of 2008? Click here now.

Why pay big money for an expensive, bakery-made wedding cake when you can easily build your own romantic creation at home? Though the prospect of creating a tiered cake may seem daunting, it is based on some pretty simple elements of architectural support. Like all sound construction, a tiered cake begins with a good foundation.

Foundation

For bottom cake tier, fill and frost the two largest cake layers in the center of a covered cake board that is about 4 inches larger than the cake, being sure to smooth frosting on top and sides. Use a sturdy cake board, such as 1/2-inch-thick plywood.

Support

Trim two circles of corrugated cardboard sized to fit under the cake layers for each additional tier (total of 4 cardboard circles). Tape the two pieces for each tier together for a double thickness of cardboard.

Cover the double-thick cardboard circles with foil that has been cut into a circle 1 to 2 inches larger than the cardboard. Center the cardboard on the foil. Cut slashes into the foil, spaced approximately an inch apart, around the entire circle. Fold each 1-inch tab of foil over the cardboard and tape into place.

Structure

To mark the correct position for the next tier, gently hold the foil-covered cardboard just above the center of the frosted bottom tier. Using a ruler as a guide, center the cardboard and gently lower it onto the frosted surface. Use a toothpick to lightly mark around the cardboard. Remove cardboard.

To make dowel supports for this tier, carefully push a 1/4-inch-thick dowel into the center of the bottom tier and mark the height of the cake on the dowel. Remove the dowel and use clean pruning or other heavy-duty shears to cut the dowel on the mark. Cut seven more dowel pieces the same length. Push dowel pieces into the bottom tier, evenly spacing pieces within the area marked for the next tier and trimming the dowel pieces, if needed, to get them just level with the cake.

Since dowels are difficult to cut, you may use plastic straws to support each layer, if you stabilize the tiers with one large dowel as described.

Fill and frost cake layers for this tier positioned on the appropriately sized foil-covered cardboard circle; smooth frosting on top and sides of cake. Carefully place tier in position on bottom tier. Repeat for all tiers, supporting each layer with dowels.

To stabilize tiers, sharpen one end of a 1/4-inch-thick dowel with a knife. Push sharp end of dowel into center of top tier and carefully push down through all tiers and cardboard circles. Trim dowel level with cake top. Carefully smooth frosting on cake top to cover dowel. Remove dowel pieces before cutting cake.

Be prepared for little problems with a wedding day emergency kit