Updated August 25/2010
This is a
unique personality test. There are only four questions but the results are very
interesting. Be
honest and honor what pops into your mind when the questions present themselves.
Just click on the following:
http://memoriter.net/flash/test.html
What's Your Personality? -
A Deluxe inspiration
http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire384.htm
A lot more about your birthday than you might want to know... * www.pokemybirthday.com
Love Quiz http://ecards.nethugs.com/lovequiz.shtml
41 Personality
Questions
This was a lot of fun and amazingly accurate to my own assessment of
myself.If the link doesn't work just copy and paste it into your address bar.
http://www.41q.com/
What's Your Personality? - An inspiring greeting http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire384.htm <a href="http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire384.htm">
Index
A Light Unto Yourself Feb 23/10
Accepting Yourself Unconditionally March 18/09
Are Leftys More Creative Than Rightys May 29/09
Are you a super shopper or a clueless consumer March 19/08
Are you Masculine or Feminine August 9/07
Art of predicting your own lasting happiness Sept 10/07
Become More Self-Confident Jan 29/10
Birth Order and Personality -more details May 13/09
Birth Order and Your Personality Oct 8/07
Birth Test April 25/08
BIRTHDAY CLOCK Jan 27/09
Birthstones Oct 8/07
Body Language: The Basics Feb 24/09
Can You Hear Your Body Talking Feb 24/09
Carl Jung Personality Test Feb 11/08
Chinese Feng Shui horoscope August 29/07
CLICK ON YEAR YOU WERE BORN AND READ THE NEWS FOR THAT YEAR. April 25/08
Colour Of Your Birthday Aug 18/08
Discover your celebrity alter ego March 26/09
Do you know your Self March 24/08
Do You Make Enough Time for Yourself Sept 26/07
Dr. Phil's test Feb 13/09
Eye color test Sept 24/09
Feng Shui Horoscope Feb 13/09
Find Your Happiness March 29/10
General Birthday Month Analysis
Grocery Shopping Personality Indicator May 29/09
Happiness Quiz: How well do you know yourself May 8/09
How Birth Order Shapes Personality Nov 28/07
How do you eat your oreo Jan 9/08
How long do you think you will live
How popular is your name Jan 22/08
How Rare Is Your Name Feb 12/08
How to forgive August 15/07
How to Identify Your Personality, Strengths & Weaknesses Aug 9/10
How to wake up inspired Aug 25/10
Horoscope Test… Oct 8/07
How Good Are Your People Skills Oct 8/09
How Tightfisted Are You April 8/09
How to beleive you can do anything March 31/10
Importance of Birth Order Feb 9/09
Ingredients of Maturity Jan 22/08
Is Our Personality Written in Our Handwriting May 15/09
Is Your Life Too Chaotic Jan 22/08
Jealousy Can Be a Good Thing April 20/09
Kick the approval habit Aug 28/08
Know Thyself Feb 27/09
Learning to love yourself Jan 20/10
Looking out for number one Feb 16/10
Love yourself elevate your life August 15/07
Make your own good luck Sept 17/07
Measures For Building Your Character July 11/07
More on Zodiac Sept 14/07
Personal development list of blogs September 4/07
Prescriptions for Living a Soul-Filled Life: Aug 25/10
Principles of growth for a life of passion March 29/10
Questions That Changed My Life Nov 3/07
Quiz: do you make other people happy May 15/09
QUIZ - LIFE SATISFACTION Feb 9/09
Quizzes Oct 8/07
Quizzes @ RomanceClass Feb 19/08
real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today March 25/08
Roadmap for Life: Numerology at Work May 20/09
Rules For Being Human July 11/07
Seeing Red: How Color Alters Our Behavior March 26/09
So you think you're clever, do you March 12/08
Spoiled Brat Screening Quiz March 6/09
Tell me why I don't like Mondays Sept 26/07
10 ways to tell if someone is lying to you
Three rules for self-esteem March 31/10
Throw Anxiety off your back August 15/07
Tips for liking someone better
Ways to Simplify Your Life April 12/10
What a lovely name June 17/09
What color are your eyes Sept 24/07
What day of the week were you born
What Do People Think When They See You March 13/09
What Do You Need in a Man Feb 19/08
What does the day you were born mean
What does your first name say about you Feb 25/08
What Does Your Hair Say About You March 20/09
What is Your Wine Personality Sept 17/07
What Kind of Flirt Are You March 30/09
What's Your Fitness Personality Jan 14/08
What's your IM style Sept 13/09
What's your money style Jan 16/08
What's your personality June 14/08
What's your PsyQ Free test! March 25/09
What's your real age March 10/08
What's your sexual personality Oct 15/07
Which business leader are you March 12/08
Who am I May 29/09
Who Are the Hardest Workers in the Zodiac April 10/09
Who are you? Nov 29/07
Who is your celebrity twin March 16/09
Which Cartoon Character Are You Sept 24/07
Which Movie Star Are You April 24/09
Your Thinking Style! March 28/08
You're Such a First-born May 22/08
Prescriptions for Living a Soul-Filled Life:
1. The
Truth And Nothing But
We "search our soul" when we need to find answers for life's deep
questions. The soul is the seat of our own truth and is a demand for it. We must
seek the truth and tell it. Skate by the truth as your soul knows it, and
sooner or later, you'll be back to re-visit the subject you avoided. The
soul settles for nothing less than the truth laid bare. The truth may not always
be the easiest path to chose, but it's the simplest, much less complicated than
trying to keep track of which story you've spun in order to avoid being found
out.
2.
Embrace Nature
Live close to the earth and you'll know its soul. When you know the soul of
nature, you'll know your own. Spend time in the natural world and allow
yourself to connect with all living things and you will find your place in the
order of life. You will see yourself as a part of nature, no more and no
less than the stars and the trees. The soul rests in the natural world. Allow
this world to breathe you. Feel its rhythm as your own heartbeat, for it is.
3. Dive
In To Your Experience
The soul is a junkie for experience. It has no preference for pain or joy — just
a demand that we experience whatever is true in the moment. When grief or
sadness are upon you, feel them, experience them. Through these harder emotions,
new doors open and great freedom enters. When joy and passion are present,
live them out loud. The soul is a glutton for living with gusto!
4. Live
On The Edge
"Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish."
~Jean De La Fontaine — Live out to the edges of your life. That's where the soul
thrives. The soul seeks possibilities that can only be found beyond what is
already known, safe and comfortable. It does not understand the meaning of
"impossible." What is already known is already known. To the soul, the "juice"
lies in the unknown, where all things are possible. The soul calls us to come to
the edge, then go beyond. Then go beyond again. And again.
5.
Learn To Dance In The Rain
There will be times in your life when the sun doesn't shine. Dance anyway. There
will be times when life is painful. Dance with your pain. The soul is
naturally drawn to the dark, tight places inside. Its job is to expand those
places so the light can shine into and through them. Dance with whatever
cards you're dealt, then tell the truth about it. The soul is nothing if not an
excellent dancer. Give it the dance floor and step aside! My friend just lost
her 48 yr. old son, Matthew, to a liver disease brought on by chronic
alcoholism. This brave woman held her son as he lay dying a premature death
brought about by his addiction. Her heart broken, she is now planning his "fun"
funeral, complete with bagpipes and a wake held at his favorite bar. She is
dancing with her broken heart because her soul demands that this is how she is
to send her son off to the great beyond. She is as resolute and grounded as I've
ever known her to be, all within 12 hours of her son's death. She is dancing in
the rain of her tears and sadness, and in an odd way, it is bringing her a new
form of liberation.
6.
Declare A "Lily" Day
According to Huffington Post's, Anne Naylor, "On a Lily Day, there is
nothing I should or feel I have to do, unless I really want to. It is a bit
like having a holiday at home without the discomforts of travel and facilities
that do not meet my expectations. And it is just as refreshing, potentially more
enriching and it does not cost anything. It is a Day to be available to and
nurture my inner spirit." and I would add "soul." Read Anne's
wonderful Lily Day post 
here.
Give yourself permission to have a Lily Day at regular intervals!
7.
Daily Doses Of Solitude, Stillness, And Meditation
To meditate is to enter the soul's inner temple. Here, you'll hear the soul's
whisper. Meditation is like drinking water after crawling through the desert.
It quenches the soul's thirst for silence and stillness. Start slowly, 10
minutes daily. Gradually build up to a minimum of 30 minutes/day. Solitude and
stillness are the soul's saving grace. Be sure to read Ed and Deb Shapiro's
weekly posts on meditation on Oprah.com. Here's their latest
post.
8. Keep
A Journal
Having kept a journal for over 30 years, looking back, I see that many of the
same questions are with me today as 30 years ago, I'm just on a different turn
of the wheel. I'm taking a deeper cut, more surrendered to the wisdom unfolding
as my life. All of this comes through my writing as I see my soul's process over
the long arc of time expressed on the pages of my journal. Your journal is a
living document that you were here, you lived a life, you loved, you lost, you
learned. Be sure to record your dreams, which are the language of the soul.
9. Love
Unconditionally
At the end of the day, what it all comes down to is how much did you love? Were
you a lover of life, the world? Did you love with a big, wide, open, generous
heart? Did you love without conditions? This is what will matter when you come
to the finish line. The soul is here to learn to love it all, even and
perhaps especially, those things the ego thinks are unlovable. Love the
unlovable parts of yourself and others and your soul will find peace.
10.
Honor The Sacred
To the soul, every thing is sacred. Every moment, every experience, every blade
of grass, every bug that crawls, baby that cries, tear that's shed, gesture of
love, act of kindness ... it's all sacred. To honor the sacred in
every moment is to live out the mission of the soul. "To live now as we
think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is
itself a marvelous victory." --Howard Zinn
~ Judith
Rich
is a well-known teacher in the field of transformation and consciousness. Her
work is focused on the awakening
of one’s dormant inner resources, empowering profound personal and professional
breakthroughs for individuals and organizations
throughout the U.S., Europe, Asia and South America. As a speaker, writer,
trainer, workshop facilitator and leadership development
coach, Judith brings insight, passion, humor and sensitivity to empower people's
awakening to the brilliance of who they are. Her
personal blog, Rx
For The Soul,
is another spot to find her writing and explorations in this area, so pay a
visit there if
Posted: 09 Jun 2010 04:49 PM PDT
Photo by Simón
Pais
Inspiration is typically viewed as something that comes and goes. Some days you “feel it” more than others.
But what if you could be deeply and unconditionally inspired everyday? I bet it would make a difference in the quality of your life. You would probably wake up excited to start your day. You’d get more done, be more creative and feel more of that elusive “flow.” Being inspired also means enjoying the process more, instead of feeling forced and unnatural.
The best part of persistent inspiration is that action tends to be effortless. There isn’t so much trying, rather you’re more simply being and allowing whatever action is natural to flow out from you.
Most of us just wait for inspiration though. We passively anticipate our muse, instead of actively seeking it out.
“You
can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.“
~Jack London
I’ve been experimenting with something different for a while, purposefully taking responsibility for being inspired. For a while I didn’t know if it would work. Inspiration is kind of an elusive phenomenon after all. And even if you choose to look for inspiration, does that mean it will come?
The answer is yes, and no.
Actively creating an inspired state doesn’t work 100% of the time. Sometimes instead you will feel calm, centered and relaxed instead of being filled with electric motivation. And that’s okay.
Here’s the thing though: deliberately choosing to be inspired tends to create a more consistent inspired state over time. That is, the more you flip the switch, the more it becomes automatic and spontaneous.
So the question is… How can you reinforce inspiration, so that it becomes automatic?
I’ve found a few ways to helps this along:
Who are some of the people that inspire you or have influenced your work? Who do you want to be like, who are some of your mentors? Take some time in the morning to read something they’ve written, or watch a video they’ve created.
We should all have deeply emotional reasons behind the goals we set (if you don’t, they might be the wrong goals). Reviewing the reasons behind our intentions help us to remember why we’re doing what we’re doing. Without that purpose, it can be hard to stay inspired.
We often say yes to too much. It’s much harder to deliberately choose our projects than to blindly accept whatever comes our way. Regularly reviewing your commitments to make sure that you’re only working on things that truly excite you is essential to being inspired. You can’t expect to be excited about things you didn’t consciously choose or desire.
What is it that you truly love to do? What gets your energy flowing and your
blood rushing? Surround your physical space in things that will remind you of
and reinforce your
passion.
If art is your passion, make sure your surroundings reflect that. Put up
pictures from your favorite artists. Have an easel nearby with paint ready. If
your passion is architecture, surround your space with pictures of your favorite
buildings, or structures. Let your space be a constant inspirational
reinforcement. It only takes a few hours to setup at the most, and after that
it’s constantly working for you on autopilot.
The people you socialize and engage with will have a big impact on your level of inspiration. Choose to be selective about the people you let into your life, and what type of energy they bring to your circle of influence. You can start by following inspiring people on Twitter or keeping in touch with the work of leaders and innovators you admire.
The more you move in the direction of things that challenge and make you a bit nervous, the more likely you will find inspiration. You can’t expect to be inspired by doing the same thing every day, following the same routine, working at the same boring job, watching the same boring television shows. You have to decide to follow your passions, engage in the world and choose paths that might make you feel a bit uncomfortable.
Probably the most neglected of all ways to find inspiration is the most counterintuitive. Sometimes to be inspired, we have to step away… we have to create space and room for our passions to breathe. Spending time hiking and in nature is my favorite way to do this. It’s in the gaps that beauty is found. It’s the empty space that makes a cup useful.
These are all great ways to cultivate a more inspired life, but I think perhaps the most important thing to focus on is the feeling you want to create.
Most of the time we look for the feeling we want to have from or as a result of the action we’re taking. We seek to feel a certain way through the pursuits we engage in. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with this approach, it’s just that it can often lead to misjudgment on what goals are truly right for us.
On the other hand, if we focus on what we want to feel first - enjoyment, creativity, connection, excitement, etc. - then we set ourselves up for naturally engaging in action that supports those feelings. Our actions become a reflection of the way we feel, not the other way around.
Cultivating a life of sustainable inspiration is something that I’m working toward each day. I’m too impatient to wait around for inspiration to fall on my lap, or into my head.
I don’t think living an inspired life happens by accident.
I think inspiration is a choice.
About the author: Jonathan
Mead
is a limit-breaking coach, martial artist and trafficker of truth. He writes
about
self
development
and living on your own terms at Illuminated Mind.
By Jacqueline Wales
I bet you that in 15 seconds, I can read your personality and tell you what your skills, strengths and weaknesses are - and how to make it work for you in business.
Reading personalities is an art form, and an extremely potent way of connecting with people in a deep, meaningful way. In business a deep, meaningful connection means lasting profitable relationships. It's also a powerful way to get to know their greatest strengths and also, their greatest weaknesses. You will be surprised at the difference between the two.
Once you're able to identify your own personality with an exercise I'm about to reveal, you'll be able to read your prospects', customers' and co-workers' personality and connect with them in a way you never thought possible.
A Simple
Exercise to Help You Identify Your Personality
Based on four shapes - a cube, a pyramid, a wavy line and a ball - I'd like you
to think about what shape resonates with you the strongest. What would be your
first choice? What's your second choice? List the four shapes in the order that
appeals to you. Once you complete this exercise, read on to find out your
personality type.
The first
shape is the cube - The Systems Person.
You are an analytical person who likes to cross the T's and dot the I's. Your
greatest strength is your ability to think things through, analyze in detail and
avoid fatal mistakes. But your greatest strengths can also be your greatest
weakness because you can be held back when you analyze too much. You tend to
hesitate in making decisions until you have all the facts and you generally
refuse to take risks or act spontaneously without the facts. Making mistakes is
not an option, so you limit the opportunities that come your way as a result.
You are task driven, and need to be less picky with other people so you can
relax and enjoy the view.
The second
shape is the pyramid - The Results Person.
You are driven to succeed. Results are important, and reaching your goals is
number one. You want to move as quickly as possible and sometimes you push too
hard and jump into the action too fast without having all the facts available to
you. This can slow you down. You need to learn from the analytical and try to
not be so pushy. You are a control freak! While it will help you succeed, it
won't make you the most popular person around. Learn to slow down and inhale the
fresh air. Give people more room to come on board and learn how to have more fun
just for the sake of it.
The third
shape is the wavy line - The Idea Person.
You have an extreme amount of energy, excitement and enthusiasm for life. You
are an ideas person who has a million of them. Unfortunately, you don't always
follow-through on these ideas because you don't focus long enough to figure out
what will work. Before you know it, you're dancing onto the next idea. Keeping
up with you is hard, but if you slow down, pay attention to the details, and
learn to be more focused on the task at hand, there is no limit to what you can
get done.
The fourth
shape is the ball - the People Pleaser.
You just want to make people happy and will quickly raise your hand when someone
needs help. However, your ability to take care of others doesn't extend to
yourself. You quickly take on more than you can handle which builds resentment.
You are stubborn and generate a great deal of pride, which stops you from
sharing your feelings in a meaningful way. You would do well by learning how to
move out of passive and into action so you can say NO and mean it. Worry less
about what other people do and think, and work more on the tasks at hand and you
will succeed.
Find out more about how to define your personality type by picking up a copy of my complimentary eBook "Finding Success Through Understanding Personalities." Learn how to use your greatest strengths to overcome your greatest weakness so you can achieve all you want in business and in life. By learning how to analyze your own personality, you will learn how to identify the different personalities you associate with everyday. This will help you connect with others and build a deeper, more meaningful and profitable relationship.
Jacqueline Wales, author of The Fearless Factor, helps small business owners, entrepreneurs and business professionals bridge the gap between fear and opportunity so they can reach their full potential. Now, with her new, free ebook you'll be able to overcome your fear - and actually develop deep, meaningful and profitable relationships. Click here now to freely download it.
See the following
related pages at Trans4mind:
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============================================
The society in which we live is all too often obsessed with how much we have. We
spend a lot of time accumulating things and have a hard time giving things up.
All the extras can add up and stress us out. Below is a list of 15 things that
we can do with less of in order to help simplify our lives and free up our time.
1. Limit commitments
Many of us have a hard time saying no. Even when we're overworked and
overbooked, many of us feel guilty telling people no. It's time to learn that
it's okay to say no and not feel guilty. When you have too many commitments, you
aren't able to fulfill them to the best of your ability and you add unnecessary
stress to your life, not to mention all the time that those commitments eat up.
Next time you're already committed and asked to take on more, gracefully
apologize and say no--remembering that next time the need arises you may not be
so busy.
2. Shorten To Do lists
Get rid of all the post-it notes and scraps of paper on which you've jotted down
things to get done. Consolidate everything into 2 lists. One list should be your
to do list for work and the other one for home. Each list should only contain
the most important things in order to keep your lists short.
3. Control wasteful actions
Think about your typical day. How much of that time is spent doing things that
don't really have a purpose? Things like watching hours of TV and pointless
Internet surfing often draw us in and waste more of our time than expected. Gain
back some of this time by making such activities more difficult to do or by
avoiding them altogether.
4. Reduce clothing
Many Americans have closets and drawers full of clothes, much of which they
haven't worn in months or even years. Look through your clothes. Take out
anything that doesn't fit, is out of style, or hasn't been worn in over six
months. Donate these items to a local charity, sell them at a garage sale, or
give them to a friend who could use them.
5. Donate books
Books that aren't useful anymore and ones that you do not intend on reading
again are just creating clutter. Go through your books and weed out all of your
clutter books, including college textbooks, reference and self-help books you
don't use any more, and books you'll never read again. Either sell these items
at a garage sale or donate them to a friend or charity.
6. Consolidate email accounts
If you have multiple email accounts, consolidate them. Send out that mass email
to let people know you're changing your email address. Keeping track of more
than 2 email accounts is a great waste of time. Keep 1 personal account and 1
work account.
7. Focus on fewer goals
Having goals is a great thing, don't get me wrong. Everyone should have goals,
but working toward too many at one time can be detrimental to your success.
Focus on only 2 or 3 goals at a time and you will find it much less stressful
and much more enjoyable as you achieve more success.
8. Curb credit cards
Credit card debt is a major problem for many Americans. One way to avoid this
problem and stress is to limit credit card use by limiting the number available
to you. Scale back to only 1 credit card and 1 backup. If this just won't do for
you, try scaling back the number of cards you keep with you in your purse or
wallet.
9. Reduce banking institutions
Let one bank supply all of your banking needs. Some banking institutions
consolidate all of your accounts onto one statement each month, reducing the
number of papers to sort through and file. It will also reduce the number of
websites you have to login to each time you want to check balances and activity
online.
10. Reduce bills to mail
There are many recurring payments that we make each month, from cable bills to
car and mortgage payments and even utilities. Sign up with the companies or your
financial institution to have these charges automatically withdrawn from your
checking or savings account. Other than saving you time and the hassle of
mailing in your payments, it also saves you any late fees you may otherwise
incur in the process.
11. Eliminate car clutter
Get rid of the trash and anything else that doesn't belong in your vehicle. Keep
a small bag in your vehicle for any garbage that may accumulate while you're
driving. Make sure everything that belongs in your car has a place. Most
commuters find that they do some of their best thinking while they're on the
road. It's rather hard to think and keep your mind clear when the space around
you is a mess. It's also not a very good environment in which to decompress
after a long day at work.
12. Control communication
Email, IM, cell phones, paper mail, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, and forums can all
rob us of our precious time if we're not careful. Allow yourself a reasonable
amount of time to communicate with friends and family, but don't let it
overwhelm your day. Schedule certain times during the day for such
communication, but only allow a certain number of minutes and stick to your
schedule.
13. Plan dinner choices
Create a weekly dinner menu. It can be something as simple as 10-day rotation of
chicken dish, pasta dish, veggie dish, etc. Need more variety? Combine your
favorite recipes into one binder and make weekly dinners from that one recipe
book.
14. Quit multi-tasking
Stop multi-tasking! Generally people are less productive when they multi-task.
It adds more stress and makes things more complicated. Stick with a single task
until you can cross it off your to do list and then move on to the next thing.
15. End gossip
Gossip creates drama whether it's at work or in your personal life. Eliminate
the majority of this drama by not repeating any of the gossip you hear. It'll
make you a more enjoyable person to be around and a better friend.
By Brian Kim
The phrase "You can do it if you just believe" has become so watered down to the point that people just roll their eyes when they hear it. They've tried it and it just doesn't work for them. Here are just a few quotes on the subject...
"To succeed, we must first believe that we can." --Michael Korda
"Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe." --Mark Victor Hansen
"Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve." --Mary Kay Ash
"You have to believe in yourself." --Sun Tzu
"Believe that you will succeed, and you will." --Dale Carnegie
"Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he can achieve." --Napoleon Hill
Notice how they are all saying essentially the same thing, that if you believe it, you can do it. Well, let me just say I wholeheartedly agree, but I think they left out one very important part and that is:
How do you believe?
It's not enough to just say "Oh, just believe and it will happen." I think the
reason why people have a hard time believing is because we've never done it.
What I mean by that is we never really formed our own beliefs.
Think about it. Trace back all your beliefs on religion, politics, money, people, society, and the world in general. You'll find that the root of the majority of your beliefs came from outside of you, whether it was through your parents, friends, or media.
"Don't talk to strangers. They're bad."
"Money is the root of all evil." (It's actually "The love of money is the root of all sorts of evil")
"If you don't do good in school, you'll fail in life."
"You have to go to college to get a good job."
The majority of people have never really gone through the exercise of creating their own beliefs, because we've been spoon fed them from day one.
It's time to take charge
of our own beliefs.
In order to find out how to believe, let us examine the process in which some of
the most powerful beliefs in human beings were created. I'm talking about
people's beliefs in religion and politics. The beliefs rooted in religion and
politics are EXTREMELY powerful. We fought other kids over them when we were
young. Families became divided over them. World wars were fought over them.
Millions of lives were taken because of them. Men and women even went so far as
to take their own lives because of them.
Clearly, the power of people's beliefs in religion and politics and the effect it has on their lives is unquestioned. If we can analyze the procedure in which these beliefs were formed and apply that procedure to create our own beliefs, we will be able to achieve anything we want.
The next question is: How did these beliefs form? Let's do this...
Step 1: You
must state a specific belief FIRST in order to believe it
I know it sounds obvious, but there are a lot of people who don't believe in
anything. You ask them, "Do you believe you can lose 20 pounds of fat?" "I don't
know....maybe.....we'll see." This is not a belief. This is a cop out.
STATE a SPECIFIC belief. It does not matter if you don't believe it at first. Just take that first step and STATE it.
For the purpose of this article, let us utilize a belief that will not stir any controversy, not cause any ill will or upset any reader of any religion or political affiliation. Let us choose a belief that is positive and that many people have a hard time believing. In fact, let's continue with the example of the belief stated previously... "I will lose 20 pounds of fat."
Ok, so the first step was taken. A specific belief was created. I will lose 20 pounds of fat. Now to all the readers who have tried to lose weight and failed to do so, I can imagine what you are thinking: "I can't lose 20 pounds. I tried every miracle diet, drug, fad, exercise, machine, etc., but none of it helped me lose weight. I'll always be overweight."
If that's your automatic reaction, that's fine. I'm not going to tell you to change your self-talk for now because I know it's hard to do so. Don't get overwhelmed or discouraged. Take it one step at a time. Now that you have STATED a SPECIFIC belief, what is the next step?
Step 2:
HAMMER that belief into yourself CONTINUOUSLY
Beliefs are NOT formed overnight. People did not come to believe in a political
ideal or religion overnight. It was due to a constant hammering of information
over a long period of time. Most people got it when they were young from their
parents, friends, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, etc. They heard it at
the dinner table, when they went to religious service, on TV, books, magazines,
friends, acquaintances, etc.
However, this time, nobody is there to hammer the beliefs in you. YOU created your OWN BELIEF and it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to HAMMER it into YOURSELF. It doesn't matter if your self talk is negating your belief. A constant hammering will always drive the nail into the wall of your self talk. Just hammer it in. The nail will always go in the wall if you continuously hammer it in.
This is where 90% of people fail and conclude that the whole "if you believe, you can achieve" idea is utter nonsense.
We live in a society where distractions are rampant. Internet, text messaging, cable TV, email, cell phones, TV on our cell phones, ipods, wireless internet access, etc. We are a spoiled generation. We live in an instantaneous society. We want results NOW. We have lost the virtue of patience.
We have music, video, news, entertainment, all on demand with a push of a button. We can get in touch with anyone in the world by dialing 12 digits. We can look up all sorts of information with a click of a mouse. It's so easy to get sucked into the newest things and forget about the importance of continuously focusing on hammering in our new beliefs. It's also easy to become discouraged when we don't see any quick results from hammering in our own beliefs.
We have lost the notion of sticking through with something and not quitting until the goal is achieved, no matter how long it takes. How can you avoid doing that?
He then wrote down the belief that he would hit the 94th percentile on the GMAT, even though he had scored at the 77th percentile when taking several practice tests. He took the GMAT and the results came in. He hit the 94th percentile.
He became so convinced of the power of writing down his beliefs that he used it to write down that he would become a famous syndicated cartoonist. The rest is history.
I know it sounds a lot like affirmations, and it pretty much is. However, you might have had previous experiences with affirmations and not have had such good results from them. You will soon see though, that there is much more to believing than just writing down affirmations.
Reality lives alone in the brain. And because reality lives alone in the brain, you can create your own reality. So create the reality of already having achieved your belief by visualizing it in order to help hammer the belief into your brain. You must take time each day to hammer your belief in.
If you do it sporadically, your belief will never take root. Rome was not built in a day. Masterpieces were not created overnight. Anything worth of any significant value was not created instantaneously. Deep down inside, you know it's true. There are no shortcuts in life.
Does this mean it will take years for your beliefs to come true? If you consistently hammer in your beliefs and take the following steps that will be outlined, you will find that your beliefs will come true faster than you realize.
Step 3: Continually associate with those who share your beliefs
If you look back at how beliefs in religion and politics were formed, you'll
find that continuous association on a regular basis with those who shared the
same religion and political affiliations helped enormously in solidifying their
respective beliefs.
People did NOT habitually associate with those who did NOT share their beliefs. Muslims did not habitually associate with Jews. Atheists did not habitually associate with Christians. Hardcore conservatives and liberals did not habitually associate with one another. Each group managed to attract one another and form their own support group. People who believe the same things will naturally gravitate toward one another. Rich with rich, poor with poor, middle class with middle class. It is indisputable fact.
When the hammering of your belief starts sinking in, you'll find that you will naturally gravitate toward those who share the same beliefs. If you find yourself doing that, it's a very good sign you're going in the right direction and it shows that your belief is getting hammered in.
You will find yourself looking to those who share the same beliefs for advice and/or support. For example, if you constantly hammer in the belief that you are a great public speaker, you will naturally start looking for speech classes, books, and tapes. You will buy the books and listen to the tapes. You will go online and search for the nearest Toastmasters club in your area and join. You'll take a speech class at the local community college and meet lots of other people there who share the same beliefs.
This is another aid in helping you hammer your belief in. When you habitually associate with those who share the same belief, you hammer your belief in even more.
Step 4:
Confirm Your Belief in Your Environment
If you've been continuously hammering your belief in yourself and surrounding
yourself with people who share the same belief, you will start to find
confirmation of your belief in your environment. For example, people who believe
in Christianity will go to church on a regular basis (habitually associating
with those of the same beliefs) and they will begin to see atheists living a
hard life and conclude that living life as a Christian is the best way to live.
On the other hand, atheists will see the wars waged in the name of Christianity and conclude that it must not be the true religion. Atheists will point at the suffering of the world and conclude that God does not exist, thus confirming their beliefs in their environment.
Reality will start to shape according to your belief. When you find reality starting to shape according to your belief, it is another sign that your belief is sinking in even deeper.
Whenever you see confirmation of your belief in your environment, RECORD IT. Write it down. Start a belief confirmation journal. That way, it will serve as a reinforcing mechanism for your belief.
You'll find that one of the best ways to confirm your belief through the environment is to look to the people who have already done it. The greatest evidence that something can be done is if another person has done it. You will begin to see/meet people who have lost weight successfully. You will see them on TV, read about them, maybe even meet them in the gym.
Collect inspirational stories of people who have done it. Refer to them often and confirm your belief to reinforce it whenever you feel it fade. By confirming your belief in your environment, you drill your belief deep down in yourself even further.
Step 5:
Take Action to Reinforce the Belief
All right. So you've STATED a SPECIFIC belief, hammered it in yourself
continuously, frequently associated with those who share the same belief, and
reinforced it by confirming it in your environment. You are now ready to take
action.
The great thing about this is that you've already laid the foundation of belief. Therefore, taking action will not be hard. It will be natural. Your ability to easily take action is directly related to the degree to which your belief is hammered in you. Since you've already set up a very strong foundation of belief, you will find it easy to take action.
The reason why most people fail in the attainment of their high set goals is because they try to take action FIRST, without taking the time to really set the foundation of FIRST believing that they can. You know exactly what I'm talking about... People who want to lose a ton of weight get psyched the first few days, go the gym, run, bike, box, go home, throw out all their junk food and eat healthy for the next few days. You visit them a week later, they're sitting on their butt eating buttered popcorn with a big tub of Dreyer's Cookies and Cream and a large coke with hot dogs and chili cheese fries watching all six Star Wars movies in a row.
If I were to ask you, do you believe you can make $1 today? The answer would be "Yes, of course." And if I were to say "Show me," you would take immediate action by selling your DVDs, books or clothes and easily make that $1 today. You took action because you already had the belief inside of you that you can make $1 today.
If I were to ask you, do you believe you can make $1,000,000 today? The answer would be NO. You have NOT FIRST set the foundation of believing you can, therefore you would not be motivated to take any action. (If the person reading this is Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Tiger Woods, etc., your answer would be "Yes," because you've already set the foundation of believing you can because you have the resources to do so).
What I'm trying to say is that if you've done a good job of drilling the belief into yourself, you will find it easy to take action toward it.
Japanese air fighters during World War II, had drilled down the belief that sacrificing their own lives for their country was the biggest honor, and as a result, were easily able to sacrifice their own lives. Taking your own life is an extremely hard thing to do. Most people who attempt it won't go through with it. But these Japanese kamikaze were easily able to take that action. Why? Because their beliefs were effectively drilled down deep within them.
If you've done a good job of drilling the belief into yourself, you will find it easy to take action toward it.
Step 6:
Acknowledge Your Own Progress to Further Reinforce Your Belief
Let's go back to the belief we were using in this essay: I will lose 20 pounds
of fat. All right, so you've STATED a SPECIFIC belief and hammered it in
yourself continuously. You frequently associated with those who share the same
belief by joining Weightwatchers,
LA Fitness, etc. You've reinforced your belief by
confirming it in your environment by reading stories of people who have done it,
meeting them in person, etc. You've also naturally taken action to fulfill it by
habitually exercising and eating right.
When you lose that first pound, rejoice! You know you're on your way now. If you can lose that one pound, you can lose another, and another, and another, and another until the rest of the 19 pounds are shed. This is where your belief starts to grow EXPONENTIALLY. You must feed your belief by acknowledging your own progress and reinforce it so it grows exponentially.
For you math people out there, think of the graph y=e^x. You know it slowly increases along the x axis until it starts to sharply increase exponentially. Acknowledging your own progress is the catalyst for the exponential increase. Because this is such an important catalyst, record it. Write it down. Don't trust it to memory. Write it down so you can refer to it often to reinforce your belief.
Step 7:
Loop steps 2-6.
Believing is analogous to starting a roaring fire. If you've ever tried to start
a fire, you know it's not as easy as taking a lighter and putting the flame on a
big log. You have to first gather all the moss, twigs, grass, leaves, and build
a small mound where the fire can reside, consume the fodder, and grow strength.
You have to work at it, coax it, feed it, breath on it, until it starts to grow.
When it grows, you have to keep on feeding it with more and more pieces of small wood until you start bringing in the big chunks of wood. The result is a blazing fire you can use to do anything. You can use it to light other people's fires. You can use it to burn down walls. You can use it to warm people and give them light. Even though I'm speaking metaphorically, you know what I'm talking about. So feed the fire of your belief and loop steps 2-6 to do it.
Conclusion
I believe if you analyze any one of your current beliefs, you will find that it
went through exactly the 7 steps listed here. Try it and see for yourself.
Let's use an example of a common disempowering belief that a lot of people have: "Bad things always happen to me. I can never catch a break." Ok, let's take it through the 7 steps...
How can they get rid of this disempowering belief? By creating a NEW one and taking it through the 7 steps...
However, you must realize that this will not happen overnight. It takes time, discipline, and perseverance, which is why most people won't do it.
Now you know the EXACT process of how to believe and in turn, achieve. I know what must be going on in the mind of some readers right now and that is: "If you believe, can you really do anything?"
My answer to you is a resounding YES. 100% Certified, Grade A, Y-E-S.
And you know what? So are the answers of Napoleon Hill, Sun Tzu, Michael Korda, Dale Carnegie, and everyone else who has said it time and time again. You can do anything if you really believe it.
Is it really that hard to swallow? If Edison did not really believe he could invent the light bulb, we would have nothing to do but sleep when the sun set. If Graham didn't really believe he could invent the telephone, we wouldn't have our precious cell phones today. If Lance Armstrong didn't really believe that he could fight testicular cancer and win, we would not have the inspiration he provides today. If Ghandi didn't really believe he could bring peace without fighting, who knows what the world would be like today?
I could go on and on, but you get the point... You can do ANYTHING if you BELIEVE it. It sounds far fetched, but I urge you not be close minded. We once thought the world was flat and that the earth was the center of the universe.
I will leave you with the following thought: If you accept the fact that it doesn't matter what you believe, because you know if you believe it, you will achieve it, why not hold one of the most powerful beliefs of all, which is: I can do anything if I believe.
Now you know how.
Copyright © 2006-2009 Brian Kim, www.BrianKim.net All Rights Reserved Brian Kim is an internationally known writer with the ability to inspire and provide people all over the world with high quality DEFINITIVE information on self improvement that they can use to invest in themselves, their greatest asset, in order to make their dreams come true.
Brian book, The Hidden Secret In Think and Grow Rich, will change the way you look at the principles of success. This paradigm shift will introduce a new framework model that will show how the principles of success are all connected so that they can be derived naturally, not forcefully.
This book ties everything you've ever read on self improvement and goal attainment to give you that missing link between them all. In addition it will also explain exactly how to do so in great detail. It will pull all the components together and focus on the specifics of how to do it.
Buy today and you get the original bestselling classic Think and Grow Rich AND Brian's popular ebook The Hidden Secret in Think and Grow Rich AND The Hidden Secret Workbook - all for only $24.95!
The Hidden Secret In Think and Grow Rich
By Dr. Alan Zimmerman
"You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event - it is a habit." --Aristotle, 4th Century BC Greek philosopher
A while ago, I was sharing the platform with Lou Holtz, one of the most successful football coaches of all time. Both of us were speaking to a large audience on the topics of success and performance, but I especially liked the way Lou got right to the bottom line. He simply said, "The most important thing I can tell you is to believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself."
In fact, he said the secret to his success as a coach ... and the secret to his teams' winning records ... was self-esteem. The more he built the players' self-esteem, the better they did. And that makes total sense to me. For years, I've taught in my "Journey to the Extraordinary" experience, "You perform exactly as you see yourself." If you see yourself as mediocre, you'll give a mediocre performance. But if you see yourself as gifted and confident, you will perform accordingly.
So how can you see yourself more positively? Or how can you raise your self-esteem ... and thereby your effectiveness in every part of your life? For starters, you have to follow 3 simple rules for your life, your work, and your relationships. Follow these 3 simple rules and you will have a strong, powerful, positive self-esteem...
It doesn't matter if you call it business ethics or personal morals, you've got to do what is right. There is no way you can feel good about yourself if you do what you know is wrong. It's a simple rule ... even though it may not always be an easy rule. As the saying goes, "Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever." So choose your actions wisely.
When you do that, you reap all the benefits of peace, joy, and self-esteem. As author Pearl S. Buck noted almost a century ago, "The secret of joy in work is contained in one word -- excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it."
And the great President Abraham Lincoln lived by that principle. He said, "I do the very best I know how ... the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference."
Do the best you can ... even though you are bound to face obstacles. People with high self-esteem ... or people trying to build their self-esteem ... find a way to work around those obstacles.
Such was the case with Peter Falk. At the age of 3, he lost an eye as the result of a tumor, and from there on out, he wore a glass eye. But he didn't slink around the back corridors of his school, with his hand over his eye, hoping no one would see him. No, he became president of his senior class and one of the school's outstanding baseball players. In fact, one time when he slid into third base and the umpire called him out, Falk took out his glass eye and said, "Here, you can use another eye."
After high school, Falk went on to acting in a small community theatre. But his really "big break" came when he got a call from Columbia Pictures, asking him to come to Hollywood for a screen test. It was very exciting, but they didn't sign him. An executive said, "For his price, I can get can actor with two eyes." The strange thing is ... no one remembers which two-eyed actor Columbia Pictures signed instead. But millions remember Peter Falk from Broadway, TV, and the movies, for which he received two Oscar nominations.
Despite his so-called "obstacles," Falk always lived by this second rule. He did the best he could ... making his success a foregone conclusion. And the same rule applies to you.
As author Michael Josephson puts it, "The way we treat people we think can't help or hurt us (like housekeepers, waiters, and secretaries), tells more about our character than how we treat people we think are important. People who are honest, kind, and fair only when there's something to gain shouldn't be confused with people of real character who demonstrate these qualities habitually, under all circumstances. Character is not a fancy coat we put on for show. It's who we really are."
I agree. Treat people with respect, and you will respect yourself. George Washington Carver knew about that. Despite all the racial hatred that surrounded him, he became one of the world's foremost botanical researchers in the 18 and 1900's as well as one of the most respected men of his time. His guiding philosophy was all about this third rule of self-esteem. He said, "No individual has any right to come into this world and go out of it without leaving behind him distinct and legitimate reasons for having passed through it. How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."
Live by these 3 rules. Work by these 3 rules. And you will have a strong self-esteem. Guaranteed. But you'll also get 3 other benefits...
Despite the jargon of pop psychology, you can't win by intimidation. And you don't win when you take the attitude of "I'm your parent ... or ... I'm the boss. Just shut up and listen." You win, according to Lou Holtz, "when you have a love for people and treat them that way."
So there you have it. People always ask me about the key to success. And I always tell them there are 12 keys ... which is the very structure of my "Journey to the Extraordinary" experience. But the FIRST key is self-esteem.
Action:
Look at the three rules for self-esteem. Pick out one rule for your focus this
week. And then throughout the week, ask yourself what you are doing or could do
to follow that rule that day.
As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman has taught more than one million people in 48 states and 22 countries how to keep a positive attitude on and off the job. In his book, PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success, Dr. Zimmerman outlines the exact steps you must take to get the results you want in any situation. Go to Alan's site for a Free Sneak Preview.
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By Robert Rabbin
Even Buddhists want to live passionate lives, in spite of their equanimity. Passion is life force itself, the very energy whose intensity, love, and enthusiasm for beauty and creativity produced this infinitely exquisite universe, whose mystery is beyond measure.
If we are to honor the ancient stardust within our DNA, we must become passionate, we must allow the pulse and power of universal forces free reign in our lives. For each, this will look different, and yet something in our eyes, something that is friends with wildness and sudden shifting plates of earth and collisions in deep space, will look similar and always familiar, as if when we meet each other, we meet ourselves.
We tend to grow into passion little by little, though we may sometimes take big leaps, because we are not able to take it in all at once. One day at a time, we grow into our truly passionate, authentic self and life. One day at a time, we shed old and useless selves, skins, patterns, fears, and ideas.
Growing into full possession of our passion and authenticity can be supported by certain principles. Here are some I've found to be useful:
You will no doubt create your own set of principles, which will nourish your growth and which may be of help and support to others. The main thing in life is to realize that before words filled our heads with seeming reality, thre was, and is, reality itself. The Hindus refer to the qualities of reality, or consciousness, as Sat-Chit-Ananda: Being-Consciousness-Bliss. I prefer Walt Whitman's phrase: passion, pulse, and power.
When passion, pulse, and power breach the sea-walls of our language-based seeming reality and our petty patterns of self-imaging and all our concessions and self-betrayals and excuses, we hear within us the roar of the cosmos, the cosmic roar. That's when life begins.
As a pioneer in the field of executive coaching, Robert Rabbin founded The Hamsa Institute for Enlightened Leadership in 1990, and as a skilled and inspirational keynote speaker, leadership adviser, and self-awareness teacher. For more information, please visit the website: Robert Rabbin.com.
By John Patton
I am not
interested in a superficial change of behavior, but an inner change, which is
the source of behavior.
I make the conscious choice to be free, and to hold my freedom as a priority,
not to be compromised.
I take full responsibility for my state of mind and know that happiness is never
dependant on anyone or anything outside of myself.
I value my inner peace more than I do winning, defending my identity, proving my
point, or reactively expressing momentary emotions.
I know that stillness is the natural state of my mind, when not obscured by
thought.
I know that awareness is not a secret to be learned and forgotten, but a full
time commitment to remain alert of my internal dialogue and states of mind, and
to prioritize well being over negativity.
I know that thought is a form of energy, and that whatever I choose to give
energy will become stronger.
I know that negative states of mind require, are maintained by, and exist as, a
continuous stream of thought.
I know that problems and challenging situations are the most vital times to
remain aware and to guard against reactivity.
I refuse to be reactive, and to let my emotions be controlled by others. I do
not engage in self defeating behavior.
Anger does not guide my hand. Fear does not inhibit my action. Desires do not
govern me. Attachments do not bind me.
I know that what I try to control and posses, controls and possesses me.
I value my energy, and conserve it by not wasting it on anger, fear, jealousy,
hatred and negativity. I know that I am going to face challenges, and fulfill
responsibilities regardless, and I have the choice of suffering through them or
coming to terms with them and doing the best I can without internal struggle.
I know that even a single moment of my life that is wasted cannot be regained
and that I only cheat myself by doing so.
I know that words in themselves have no power, and that no one can hurt me
without my cooperation.
I know that the meanings in which "things" hold are determined by my thoughts
and perceptions and not inherent in the things themselves.
I know that negative emotions are not generated by what happens, but my thoughts
about, and conflict with, what happens.
I know that anytime my thoughts and expectations conflict with reality, I create
suffering for myself.
I know that I cannot accurately experience the present if my mind is clouded and
biased with past judgments, assumptions, projections, desires, fears or
expectations.
I understand the difference between what exists in thought and what exists in
reality.
I see that if my thoughts have no correlative in physical reality that they are
little different than imagination.
I know that if something is already the case, or is inevitable, that acceptance
is the only intelligent response to it.
I know that acceptance is not a compromise, but a choice, sometimes necessary to
face reality and eliminate inner conflict.
I know that all problems are temporary, and as with all things, "This too shall
pass".
I know that solitude cannot be found in running from my problems, or by putting
off my responsibilities. Just by facing them, and beginning to take action can
alleviate much of the associated anxiety.
I value mistakes as necessary feedback for improvement, and know that if my
understanding needs to improve, it is only through action, through experience,
that knowledge is acquired.
I know that there is no such thing as second hand wisdom. I know that it is my
actions, not my words, that reflect my knowledge.
I know that I will have to repeat the same mistakes until I have learned the
lesson.
I know that my attitude and disposition can either call out to the best in
others, or the worst in others; either may respond. Being positive doesn't
ensure the likewise, but it allows for it.
I know that focusing on others creates more happiness than constantly obsessing
about myself. I know that my self worth is in no way dependant on the opinions
of others. I do not define myself in terms of material. I know that my identity
is self defined and self imposed.
I have no strict idea of myself in which I must conform to.
I am neither above nor below anyone, and so make no comparisons.
I have no need to control or possess others.
I do not depend on others for validation or approval.
I do not need an external authority to tell me what is right and what is wrong.
I am my own authority.
I make no attempt to appear different than I am, regardless of who I am around.
I understand that my feelings are natural, and so make no apologies for them.
I allow others the freedom of being themselves, without judging them or
attempting to change them.
I know that the only definite control that I have is over myself. I am free to
give love, without condition or expectation.
I can forgive others because I understand that we all act according to our
current level of consciousness and understanding.
I will help anyone that I can knowing that ultimately the responsibility is
theirs alone. I learn from the past, but do not allow it to interfere with the
present. I do not attain to a goal in the future, but follow the Way, moment by
moment. I am a light unto myself.
Extracted from a book by John Patton, SATORI-DO, that is in the early stages of creation, but already contains some brilliant writing and insights. John has kindly made his work to-date available in PDF format: Download here.
****************
By Lori Snyder
"I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." --Lucile Ball
We all heard the saying a million times before---"When you take care of yourself first, you will then be better able to take care of, and give your best to the people you care most about." How many of us follow this prescription?
For me, I am now becoming more conscious of this wonderful truth. I was always so busy worrying about everyone else's needs first, that I put my needs and thoughts to the sideline. After careful evaluation one day, I realized that this was doing no one any good, because after I looked after what everyone else wanted from me, I was to limited on time, energy, etc. to take care of my needs.
That in turn made it difficult to get what I needed to get done for me. As you can guess, I felt short-changed by no one other then myself. And to boot, because I was not feeling like number one to me, I was in turn not giving my best to everyone else.
So what can you do to turn this scenario around, and start taking care of your needs first? To begin, look at the list below.
So there you have it, all the reasons why it is important to take care of yourself first. Do not think you are selfish if you take care of your needs first, the opposite is actually true. If your needs are met, you will be in much better spiritual, mental and physical shape to be there for all the people in your life who are important to you. And you will be in a much happier frame of mind to want to support them with their needs.
It is wonderful to know that in this vast world, we all have special people in our lives, and of course we all want to be there for each other to express our needs, wants, disappointments, and of course all of our accomplishments. Feel empowered to know that you can give your best to everyone you love, when you take care of yourself first.
Lori Snyder, Personal Development/Relationship Expert, mentors and teaches people how to attract more of what they want in their lives, and to deal with change and transition in a healthy way. Lori will partner with you to make your life nothing less than an extraordinary one. For information on products and services, and free tips on how to create wild abundance and happiness in your life, visit Coach Lori Snyder.com.
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Posted: 14 Jan 2010 10:01 PM PST
Romantic Ideas from Romance Tracker
One of the great things about being in a romantic relationship or marriage and knowing that someone is unconditionally in love with you is that it makes you feel wonderful about yourself. You see, healthy romantic relationships have a way of starting an amazing, unstoppable cycle: the more you fall in love with someone, the better you feel about yourself . . . and the better you feel about yourself, the more you are able to love your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend.
The old cliche about “love thyself” is one of the best romantic ideas a person can use to build a better, more loving relationship. I’m not taking about vain or conceited self-love; that type of mirror-gazing doesn’t bring much to a romantic relationship. But feeling good about yourself, and being proud of yourself and the things you do, is one of the first steps we take in nurturing a healthy romance with another person.
We often discover wonderful things about ourselves when we’re in love and are able to look through our lover’s eyes. Just like hearing your own voice for the first time on a recording, seeing yourself through your romantic partner’s eyes can be a surprising event. You may be initially skeptical to discover the reasons why your significant other loves you. You mean they love that about me? And they’re proud of me for what?
Yes, it’s true! Your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband really is in love with you because of many qualities that you don’t like about yourself or that you may have overlooked. And finding out what those things are might just help you appreciate those qualities in yourself, too.
Discovering the reasons why your sweetheart loves you can be a humbling, eye-opening experience that can help you appreciate your own good qualities even more. And by learning to appreciate your own good qualities, you’ll be better able to give your lover more of what they love about you.
So if you haven’t told your romantic partner what it is you love about them, today is the day to do it. It just might help them appreciate good qualities about themselves that they didn’t realize they had.
And be sure to ask your lover, in return, to tell you what it is they love about you. You’ll be amazed at how learning to love yourself more can improve your romantic relationship.
How reading to each other can add romance to your relationship
Posted: 13 Jan 2010 10:00 PM PST
The scene of two lovers whispering romantic poetry to each other under a picturesque tree is somewhat of a sappy cliche anymore, but reading to your sweetheart–not necessarily poetry!–is still a great way to build your relationship and interact with each other in a fun, romantic way. And if you choose the right material, reading to your lover can be a two-for-one: imagine how great it would be to learn together while sharing your love together!
I know, I know–reading out loud is the type of romantic idea makes many people uncomfortable, and for some of us it might bring to mind embarrassing memories from high school literature classes. But the natural discomfort we feel at the thought of reading to someone is exactly why reading to each other is a great way for romantic couples to become closer and learn to trust each other.
Although it may seem silly at first, I promise you’ll see wonderful romantic results from setting aside time to read out loud with your significant other. It’s bound to inspire some mutual giggling, and having fun together is an important part of any romantic relationship or marriage. And after you get past the initial discomfort, you’ll quickly find that reading each other will help build trust and make you and your lover much more comfortable with each other.
After all, learning to become more comfortable with each other, and getting over the natural embarrassment we may feel in certain situations, is a natural progression in healthy, loving relationships.
What you read to each other is completely up to you. If you’re both feeling very romantic, a good book of love poetry is easy to come by. You can go for the classics, or choose from a huge selection of contemporary romantic poetry if that better suits your tastes. Is there a novel or collection of short stories that you or your romantic partner enjoy reading alone? Try reading passages to each other and you’ll open up a whole new world of romantic interaction and discussion.
Whether in the privacy of your own bedroom or beneath the cliche tree in a beautiful park, reading to your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband is a great way to build your romantic relationship and foster trust. So go grab a good book and get to reading!
Posted: 13 Jan 2010 06:28 AM PST
What if I told you there are four words that are almost as important to a romantic relationship or marriage as “I love you,” but that are rarely said? It’s true, and these four words, if said even sporadically, can do wonders for letting your lover know your feelings, inspiring new romantic ideas, and building a better, more loving relationship.
Now that I’ve grabbed your attention, get your red pen ready: “I’m proud of you” are the four magical words that will add a whole new dimension of love and appreciation to your romantic relationship.
So, why is the phrase “I’m proud of you” nearly as important in a relationship as “I love you?” Well, regular readers of Romance Tracker already know that showing someone you love them is just as important as saying you love them. Sure, A simple “I love you” is a wonderful, effective way to nurture your loving relationship. But actually letting your lover know why you have these wonderful sentiments about them will help them appreciate your feelings and feel better about themselves.
“I’m proud of you” is a phrase more often heard from the mouths of parents or mentors, but it is very important in romantic relationships, as well. There aren’t many better ways to show your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband that you approve of the way they conduct themselves and the wonderful things they do than by telling them you’re proud of them.
There are a variety of reasons why we might be proud of our romantic partner: the hard work they do at the office or at home to help support the family; the time and effort they put into being a good role model for the children; or even something as simple as kindness they might show to you or a stranger.
The fact is that you can find dozens of simple reasons to be proud of your lover every day, and you shouldn’t pass up the chance to express your pride . . . whether it’s with the spoken word, a quick text message, or in a special, hand-written note.
So what are you waiting for? “I’m proud of you” are four magical words that are guaranteed to add more romance to your relationship and make your lover feel great. Go let that special someone know why you’re so proud to have them in your life!
How to say “I love you” for the first time
Posted: 11 Jan 2010 05:43 PM PST
If you’re a regular reader of Romance Tracker, you already know that there are literally hundreds of different ways to say “I love you” to your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband. Whether it’s with actions, romantic competition, or even romantic text messages, true romantics have an endless amount of romantic ideas to show that special someone that they love them. Heck, finding ways and ideas for saying “I Love You” is the easy part. But actually telling a person that you are in love with them for the first time can be a little . . . intimidating, even for the most romantic among us.
So, are there secrets to saying “I love you” for the first time? Of course not. If you’re nervous about telling that special person about your romantic feelings, first remind yourself that lovers have heard those three words for the first time under countless circumstances and in a million different ways. And do you know what? If two people are truly in love, they won’t care one bit about when or where or how those words were said for the first time.
Whether it’s on a romantic beach, at a busy airport terminal, or written in a love letter, that first “I love you” is something that every person remembers for the rest of their lives. If you feel that it’s the right time and place to finally say it, even a greasy old diner will seem like the most romantic place in the world when you both think back on it.
But how will you know when it’s the right time to say “I love you?” Can you say it too soon? Well, yes, you can. Obviously, telling someone you are in love with them on a first date might come across as a little . . . weird, and it’s unlikely your sentiments would be returned. A truly romantic relationship or marriage needs to develop slowly, and if you feel that there’s a reason to rush things, you may want reconsider your motivations.
If you find yourself falling in love with someone but feel that it’s a bit too early to say it, there’s nothing wrong with letting the relationship continue to develop and waiting for the perfect moment to state your love. Don’t be too eager . . . and remember that the perfect moment could pop up any time and surprise you both.
Some people who feel the time is right, however, may want to have more control over the circumstances and not leave it up to chance. Actually planning out how you’ll say “I love you” can be worth the time and effort. The place where you went on your first date, a romantic weekend getaway, or even at the end of a well-planned, fun event are all great places and times to let that special someone know you love them.
One important thing to remember: never tell someone you love them for the first time expecting to hear the same thing back. Being told “I love you” can be a very breathtaking event for some people, and even if they share the same feelings it may be difficult for them to say it back right away. Simply say the words because you want to say them–don’t press for a response or act disappointed if your sentiments aren’t returned right away. Be patient, and prove your love to that person by dedicating yourself to the relationship and making it easier for them when they are ready to say “I love you” back.
The most important word to remember, then, is patience. Patience to nurture and develop your romantic relationship, patience to wait for the right time and place to say “I love you,” and patience in waiting to hear “I love you” back. With a lot of patience and a little bravery, you’ll succeed in creating a romantic memory you and your soon-to-be wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend will remember together for years to come.
Sending romantic text messages to say “I Love You”
Posted: 11 Jan 2010 01:54 PM PST
In the days before cell phones and LCD screens, lovers professed their romantic feelings for each other by dipping quills in ink and penning poetic love letters accented by elaborate script and even the occasional teardrop stain. The most prolific romantics–like the fictional, lovesick Cyrano de Bergerac–spent long hours coming up with romantic ideas and authoring flowery testaments to their objects of affection before sealing parchment with rose-colored wax and sending the correspondence off with a courier as quickly as one could be found.
Old-fashioned romantic love notes . . . with a modern twist!
Whether by horseback, secret delivery in the dark of night, or even tied to the leg of a pigeon, the romantic love letters of long ago overcame obstacles of distance and oppression to reach their objects of affection. While hand-written messages of love are still a necessary and important part of healthy romantic relationships or marriages today, the contemporary romantic no longer needs to order a fresh bottle of ink or keep a courier on hand to deliver sporadic thoughts of love that innevitably pop up during the course of the day.
Some may complain that modern technology has made romance too cheap and easy, but digital innovation, if used sparingly, can help build a better, more romantic relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband.
Most people today have cell phones, but I’ve met far too many who are hesitant to try text messaging or who think they would have no use for it. Expecially in a romantic relationship, texting can provide an important, unique forum for you and your lover to communicate in a fun new way.
Skip the small talk . . . and get right to romance!
Instead of making a romantic relationship less personal, text messaging can actually increase the amount of communication by allowing couples to express feelings that they wouldn’t otherwise. If, for example, you have a sudden thought at work of a romantic moment you shared recently with your lover, in many cases you won’t have the time or the privacy to call and talk about it. But text messaging allows you to send a very brief, very private message to your lover without anyone around you having a clue.
In addition, text messaging lets us send little romantic sentiments to our lovers without having to surround our message with the empty small talk and uncomfortable pauses that might come with a phone call. Just a few short romantic words are all that are necessary in a text . . . but we would never dream of calling our lover, saying those same few words, then hanging up right away!
Put thought into what you send . . . but don’t overdo it!
So, what kind of romantic text messages should you send to your lover? That’s up to you. You could decide to send a snippet from a romantic poem or a flowery message every day, but often all that’s necessary is a simply “I love you” or “I’m thinking about you.” Even short, sporadic messages like that will show your lover that they are on your mind and help improve your relationship.
One thing to keep in mind, though: it is possible to overdo text messaging. Because it’s so easy to do, it can be tempting to send text after text during boring lulls in your day. Don’t give in to this urge; it can be expensive if you’re paying a few cents per text, and no matter how much in love someone is they can still get annoyed by too much romance. Try to limit yourself to a few romantic texts a day, and you’ll be amazed at the positive difference it makes in your relationship.
So what are you waiting for? Go plug in to a great new way of using technology to add more romance to your relationship today. Get texting!
How romantic games and competition can improve your relationship
Posted: 10 Jan 2010 01:35 PM PST
In Romance Tracker’s last post, we learned that showing your romantic parter you love them is vastly more important than just saying you love them. There are a million different romantic ideas for ways to say “I love you” to your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband, and if you limit yourself to only the spoken word you’re missing out on a whole exciting world of romantic opportunity.
Romantic competition may be just what the doctor ordered!
While some forms of competition can have a negative effect on your relationship (competition that stokes jealous feelings should always be avoided), a little bit of romantic competition can bring you and your lover closer, teach you to interact together better, and add some spice to your relationship or marriage.
For couples who enjoy fitness activities and sports, occasional physical competitions and games can build your romance while helping you both stay in great shape. Something as rough-and-tumble as wrestling or football might be out of the question for some (but not all!) couples, but less dangerous competitive sports such as tennis, track, golf or handball might be the perfect answer to build your romantic relationship.
Romance and learning how to lose
Ideally, the sport should be one which doesn’t give one person an unfair advantage over another, so that both partners have a legitimate chance of coming out the winner. The point of adding romantic competition to a relationship isn’t to establish one person as physically or mentally superior to the other, but to learn how to better interact with each other and—gasp!—even how to deal with not being the winner. Give-and-take is a crucial part of any romantic relationship, and learning how to cope with not getting our way is an important part of romantic competition.
Getting beat by your lover in a romantic game of tennis is a great way to learn to shrug off the inevitable losses that come with any successful relationship . . . and you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that even though you may be losing in the short run, in the long run you’re winning by becoming a healthier, happier couple!
The list of possibilities for romantic competition is endless!
But romantic competition doesn’t have to be just physical. There’s an endless number of competitive games that couples can play while alone together or on teams with a group of friends.
Card games, board games, and even trivia can bring much-needed romantic competition to a relationship just as well as any physical sport. And while it may be tempting to always play on the same team as your romantic partner when with a group of friends, make sure you mix things up a bit by occasionally competing on different sides. Remember, the point of romantic competition is to teach you and your lover how to have fun with being the winner or the loser every now and then.
Romantic competition is a win-win situation!
You’ll be amazed at how much more exciting and healthy your relationship will become by adding some romantic competition at least once a week, whether physical or non-physical. And remember: whether you win or lose the game, you’re always winning by building a better, more trusting romantic relationship. Have fun!
Update: You can check out this great example of using romantic competition to better your relationship from Shoemoney, one of my favorite bloggers. Shoemoney and his wife are having a triathalon against each other, and the winner gets to choose what restaurant they will eat at for a month. What a great idea for building better relationships!
Saying I Love You: 101 ways to show your love
Posted: 09 Jan 2010 10:03 AM PST
It’s an easy thing to tell someone you love them, but a truly romantic person knows that showing your love is more important to a relationship or marriage than simply stating your love. “I love you” may be a phrase of only three words, but there are millions of different romantic ideas and ways to say it to your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband. Never limit yourself to spoken words when expressing your romantic feelings!
Showing your lover how much they mean to you every day will help you build a better, more romantic relationship, but it’s also addicting. Even people who have never tried to be romantic before will be amazed at how much more exciting and fun a relationship can be when just a little bit of romance is added to the mix. And being romantic doesn’t mean spending big bucks; in fact, the less expensive and more original a romantic gesture is, the better it shows how much you love someone.
Following are 101 inexpensive ways to say “I love you,” but they’re only the tip of a giant, romantic iceberg with limitless possibilities for you and your lover. Are they simple, common sense ideas? Well, sure they are. There’s no secret to being romantic, and the best ways of showing your feelings to someone are always the simplest ways. Promise yourself to try one of the ideas on this list every day, or use it to develop your own ways to show your love.
Saying “I love you” for the first time may be nervewracking, but dozens of opportunities for being romantic present themselves every day. Teach yourself to identify and grab those opportunities for romance and you’ll be amazed at how romantic and fulfilling your relationship will become!
101 Inexpensive Ways to Say “I Love You”
Why you should save romantic souvenirs from your relationship
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 04:24 PM PST
Some people are packrats by nature. I’m sure all of us have a relative who saves every last button and piece of string they come across for fear that they might need it someday! And believe it or not, when it comes to adding some good old-fashioned romantic ideas to your relationship or marriage, being a bit of a packrat can actually come in handy.
Saving souvenirs and keepsakes from romantic times you share with your significant other is a great way to keep a sort of physical journal of your relationship and have fun reminiscing in the future. You may not realize it, but there are tons of small, easily kept items that you and your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife probably come across every month that would make great romantic souvenirs.
I’m not saying that you should save every last receipt from every dinner you have together or that you should hoard the wrapping paper from every romantic gift you receive. That would be pretty ridiculous and boring to look back on! But more interesting items such as ticket stubs from movies and sporting events, a dried flower from a beautiful bouquet, or a shell from a romantic trip to the beach are all small, special things that are great to save.
What you do with these romantic souvenirs is strictly up to you, of course. You could easily keep them in a shoebox and create a sort of romantic time capsule that you could open up to reminisce with your sweetheart from time to time. Or, if you are more ambitious, you could use your romantic keepsakes to create a scrapbook of memories complete with pictures from the evens where you picked up your souvenirs.
Regardless of how you make use of the romantic souvenirs you collect, keeping a box of physical memories is a great way to add old-fashioned romance to your relationship. And when you open that box to look at your keepsakes together, you’ll love the wonderful reminders of the romantic and special times you’ve shared together.
The importance of holding hands with your sweetheart
Posted: 06 Jan 2010 04:51 PM PST
Romantic touching is a vital element in every successful relationship, but far too often couples concentrate on just sexual expression when trying to come up with romantic ideas to introduce more physicality. The truly romantic couple, though, knows the importance of incorporating simple, frequent and random acts of touching throughout their day. A quick hug, a kiss on the cheek, and holding your lover’s hand are all extremely important parts of adding old-fashioned romance to your relationship or marriage.
The very best romantic ideas are the simplest ones, and you can’t get much simpler and meaningful than romantic hand-holding. Holding hands with your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband is something you can do anyplace and at any time. It’s profoundly powerful in showing your lover how much they mean to you, and is a tasteful way to be physical in public without seeming too clingy.
Few issues inspire more smiles from a young couple in love than seeing an elderly husband and wife holding hands during a walk in the park. “That’s going to be us someday,” they say with a grin. But if you’re really serious about introducing romance into your lives, why can’t that be you today?
Unfortunately, hand-holding has become less and less common in a world that emphasizes individuality and self-reliance in relationships. Some people might think that if they are seen holding hands with their significant other, they might be looked at as too sappy or dependant. While it’s true that some people might make that judgment, why in the world would you let anyone else decide whether or not you should add more romantic touching to your relationship?
Holding hands on a regular basis will make you more comfortable with each other, soothe your mood during stressful times, and is a great way to show the world how proud you are to be with your special someone. If you aren’t in the habit of holding hands with your sweetheart, today is a great day to start!
Fun, romantic pet names to call lovers, boyfriends, girlfriends
Posted: 06 Jan 2010 12:11 PM PST
We’ve all seen it: two people who are madly in love and completely oblivious to everything around them, fawning over each other and calling each other pet names that make their single friends roll their eyes in pain. Heck, a few of us have probably even been that couple!
Let me get one thing straight: that kind of public display of affection isn’t one of the good old-fashioned romantic ideas we’re trying to promote on Romance Tracker. It’s one thing to be in love and be proud of it, but it’s another thing entirely to make everyone around you sick. Get a room, for crying out loud!
But having a secret, private pet name for your sweetheart really can be a good way to add a little fun and intimacy to your romantic relationship or marriage. Heck, even couples who promise themselves that they’ll never use sappy pet names usually use them eventually anyway! And here’s a warning: far too often, those cheesy pet names aren’t ones that we choose for ourselves. Sometimes we just have to loosen up a little bit, shrug our shoulders and learn to love whatever cutesy name our lover decides is best suited to us.
But remember: if you have to put up with sappy pet names from your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband you can choose a few of your favorites for them, too! Most pet names develop from unique experiences in individual relationships, and there’s no end of romantic nicknames that lovers have given each other. But there are a few stalwarts that have been whispered by countless lovers over the years.
So here’s a list of 101 of the most common fun, romantic pet names that you can use to flirt with your lover during those private times. Just choose carefully, and keep in mind that I say “private times” for a reason; bust out some of these sappy nicknames at the wrong time in public and you just might end up getting cold water tossed on you!
101 Fun, Romantic Pet Names to Call Your Lover
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How Good Are Your People Skills?
In almost all
jobs, your people skills - also known as "soft skills" - have as much of an
impact on your success as your technical skills. That's especially true when
you're in a management or leadership role.
The quiz
assesses your skills according to the four main themes below. Review your
scores for each theme, and read more where you need to.
For more on improving your communication
skills see the Club
Communicate! Learning Stream, and
visit our
Communication Skills main page.
People can
seem to disagree about almost anything - what caused a problem, how to solve
it, what values are right, what values are wrong, what goals should be
pursued; the list goes on! On top of this, you have the personal,
non-job-related differences between people that lead to obvious differences
in outlook and approach.
While
managing differences may be an obvious application of people skills,
managing agreement may not seem to be. However, helping people come to
agreement is important, and it needs a great deal of skill!
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A Final Note
from James
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Hazel Eyes: People with hazel eyes are very lovable. They are really hot and are awesome to be around. They enjoy 'pet names'. They don't care what people think or say. They are lovers not fighters. But if you mess around, they'll knock you out.They are real partiers.They are also the hottest of all. Very sexy people,and awesome kissers. They are very satisfying and they love to please. They can exceed your pleasure standards. They are very laid back, chilled and love to just be around. If you repost this and have hazel eyes then you will be happy soon with the person who is in your heart.
Find the color eyes you have, and before you repost this... put the color of your eyes in the subject box...and repost to all your friends!
Blue Eyes: People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome, very good kissers and are really hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don't care what people think or say. They love to party.They are very satisfying and love to please. Are straight up WARRIORS (aka wolves) when they need to be. They are bad to the bone. If you repost this and you have blue eyes you will have the best kiss sometime in the next 5 days.
Green eyes: People with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships, honest and trust worthy, they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the most beautiful, are fun and outgoing, love to make people laugh, and random as ever. They long for the touch of another. They are very laid back. People with green eyes are very VERY sexy and very attracted towards other people. LOVES to have fun. They are always up for a challenge. As a fire ball this person will always have you guessing. Yet they draw you in with their amazing personality. THE BEST KISSER YOU WILL EVER MEET. You never want to let go of this person. Tend to cover up true feelings, get scared over relationships. You will meet/stay with the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with if you repost this.
Hazel Eyes: People with hazel eyes are very lovable. They are really hot and are awesome to be around. They enjoy 'pet names'. They don't care what people think or say. They are lovers not fighters. But if you mess around, they'll knock you out.They are real partiers.They are also the hottest of all. Very sexy people,and awesome kissers. They are very satisfying and they love to please. They can exceed your pleasure standards. They are very laid back, chilled and love to just be around. If you repost this and have hazel eyes then you will be happy soon with the person who is in your heart.
Brown Eyes: Either sexy as hell or are adorable. Loves to make new friends. Their relationship tends to be very honest because if they aren't truly in love, then the relationship won't work. They fall easily for their best friends. Will do anything for that special person. Kind and polite. Enjoys being with their guy/girl. LOVES to party. Can make ANYONE laugh or cheer them up. Loves to please the one they care for or love. The BEST ones at sex . is NOT THE PERSON YOU WANT TO PISS OFF WILL ...KNOCK YOU OUT!! Amazing Kisser. Repost this if you have brown eyes and you will find the one that you are dreaming of. |
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What's your IM style?
http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/IM.htm?nlcid=uk_ui|09-11-2009|
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Are you on the hunt for a name for your child? Or maybe you need to name a character in a story? Or maybe you have a new pet you’d like to name? Well thanks to this lovely application you’ll be able to search names in an interesting way!
To get started you need to select what database you want to use for your name search. Your options are:
Traditions – maybe you’d like a name from a certain tradition. Here you’ll select from traditions like English, Italian, Welsh, Greek, or Hebrew.
Dispositions – in this category you’ll select from personality traits like adventurous, brave, strong, wise, and quirky to draw your names from.
Celebrity Babies – here you can find out what celebrities have named their children, whether they’re hollywood, politicians, athletes, or musicians.
Other Worlds - use this database if you want to select a name that could be straight out of Harry Potter, Middle Earth, Narnia, Star Trek, or Star Wars.
Once you’ve selected the category you want to search in, you’ll want to decide if you’re looking for unisex names, or if you want only girl or only boy names. You can do this by un-checking either boy or girl at the bottom of the application.
Now select a trait under the database you’ve selected, notice that the tag near the bottom now says how many names they found for what you chose. You can narrow this down further by selecting another trait or you can check out what it found by clicking the tag.
That will take you to a list of names! Click on a name to learn more about it. You’ll learn where it originated, what names are similar to it, as well as, have the option to get more information by Goggling it. You can also add the name to your favorites (which you’ll now be able to see at the bottom of the page). Or you could make a logo out of it by using the editing buttons beneath the image of the name – you can then download the logo!
This is an awesome name finder site. I’ve bookmarked so that when I need a character name I can quickly get there and start the hunt. Check it out today or forward it to all the parents to be you know!
http://www.whatalovelyname.com/
~Amanda
Found your perfect name yet?
Let us know what you thought of this Cool Site by rating it! Click below:
http://www.worldstart.com/tips/tips.php/what-a-lovely-name
By Allie Firestone (View Profile)
http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22360/74804-leftys-creative-rightys-/3
In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m a righty. As a kid, I wished I was a lefty; that group always seemed to be a more artistic, independent bunch with stylish handwriting. Despite my attempts to retrain my hands and make the left my go-to side (writing my spelling sentences took so much longer), I soon learned that what you’re born with is pretty much what you’ve got when it comes to your dominant hand.
According to LuckyLefty.com, approximately 10 percent of people are left-handed, a number that transcends all cultures. Today there are entire social networking sites dedicated to left-handers, but is there really a difference between the lefty minority and the righty majority?
Choosing Sides
Were those leftys really more artistic and independent, or was I just having an
adolescent identity crisis? According to M.K. Holder, a researcher at Indiana
University, even though “handedness” has been studied for over 160 years, we
still can’t precisely describe what causes us to use
one hand over the other, and why human populations are largely predisposed
toward right-hand use.
There’s evidence that genetics determine our side preference, but scientists can’t agree on the exact process that this entails because social and cultural mechanisms have also been shown to influence our handedness. Case in point: my grandfather was a born lefty whose teachers forced him to use his right hand. More restrictive societies show less left-handedness, and clearly that’s a result of such nurture over nature. Things get further complicated because side preference technically goes beyond hands and allows some people to classify themselves as ambidextrous. (You know, kick with your left foot, write with your right hand.) Some activities, like holding our dogs’ leashes, carrying luggage, and lifting the lid off a box, aren’t strongly linked to our side preference—meaning we’ll often switch sides without thinking about it during these acts. We’re more likely to perform other activities with our favored side, like throwing a ball, hammering, hitting a tennis ball, and, obviously, writing.
Here’s another interesting fact: less than 50 percent of adults always use the same hand while stirring with a spoon, but more than 80 percent stick to their preferred hand while eating with a spoon. How do you explain that? Modern handedness studies show that hand-specific activities are the ones requiring either a lot of practice and attention to detail, like writing, or the synchronization of muscle groups in an action like throwing a ball.
The Brain-Hand Connection
Our brains are divided into two sides, also known as hemispheres: the right and
the left. The right hemisphere controls the left side of our body, while the
left hemisphere controls the right side (which is just silly). Some studies have
shown a link between our dominant hand and the more dominant side of the brain.
If this is true, it would mean leftys rely on the right side of their brains
more, which is used for activities needing imagination, emotions, and
creativity. (We use the left side of our brains for more logical functions like
math and language.) The left hand/creative link isn’t fully supported by current
scientific research, though studies from the seventies showed brain activity
typical of all people found in left-handed subjects, with only a portion of
those leftys having patterns of specialization different from the general
population.
Still, there are people who insist that there’s a link between a dominant left hand and having more creativity than the average Jane. After all, some of the world’s most creative thinkers have been leftys: Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Beethoven, Benjamin Franklin, Isaac Newton, and Albert Einstein. But couldn’t you name just as many notable right-handers? And maybe leftys are forced to be more creative since they’re constantly being forced to navigate through a right-handed world. Whether being left-handed actually begets creativity has yet to be proven. (Ha!—you elementary-school snobs.)
Lefty Lore
Historically, leftys haven’t always been as revered as my childhood self thought
they were. In fact, they’ve had it pretty rough through the years. My
grandfather, a born lefty, was punished and shamed as a young student into
learning to use his right hand. Many parochial schools saw a proclivity for the
left as a curse, indicative of sin, which is why his teachers were so set on
deterring the devilish dominance of his “evil” hand. Obviously this was
traumatic for many a left-handed kid.
But where did this fear of the left originate? One theory I found floating around left-handed message boards says that centuries ago, when soldiers fought wars with swords and shields, right-handed people had better survival rates since they held their shields in the left hand, more effectively protecting their hearts. There are also verses in the Bible that some may have interpreted as casting shadows over leftys. Genesis 24:49 reads: “And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left,” and Ecclesiastes 10:2 reads: “A wise man’s heart is at his right hand; but a fool’s heart at his left.” Luckily, governments never decided to make laws against left-handed people marrying.
Modern Barriers
Though we’ve (mostly) passed the time when we used
lore and legend to determine how we raise our kids, little ones born lefty
still have a host of hurdles to navigate from a young age. Sabrina Hernandez, a
left-handed mother of two from Los Angeles, was overcome with anxiety when she
saw that her daughter, Ana, was beginning to use her left hand more than her
right.
“Being left-handed just makes certain aspects of life a pain,” she said. “I didn’t like the idea of her having to deal with all the frustration I did. Most utensils, tools, and office equipment are made for right-handed people.”
So what have I learned since wishing to become one of those creative, cool leftys in my fifth grade class? On one hand, it is sort of an exclusive club since only about 10 percent of us are born that way. But, at the same time, whichever hand we use probably doesn’t make us inherently different than anyone else. It’s what we do after our genetics fall into place that makes us unique.
First published May 2009
By Maven (View Profile)
http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22145/56482-grocery-shopping-personality-indicator
I have a theory that the study of shopping habits—of how people shop, where
people shop, and most importantly, how they conduct themselves while
shopping—can provide a fascinating and accurate insight into personality.
Furthermore, there is no other type of shopping that brings personality out in
people better than grocery shopping. Give people a cart and the Crazy pretty
much comes out.
As with all things in life,
Crazy is unique to the individual; it doesn’t wear just one kind of hat, and we
each manifest it in our own way.
Take me for example. Similar to the famous Meyer’s Briggs personality test, my
Grocery Shopping Personality Indicator (tm), puts Crazy into five distinct
categories: the Controller, the Free Spirit, the Naturalist, the Ponderer, and
the Frazzled Parent.
I am the Controller. Controllers always go shopping with a plan. They know the
entire layout of the store, and the really good ones have lists itemized by
aisle and by cost. Controllers know the price point of just about every item in
the store, they seldom purchase anything at full cost, and will often calculate
the grocery tally as they shop.
For this reason, it’s not
always advisable to approach the Controller while in Full Shop Mode. While
Controllers love to talk about their shopping exploits after the fact—that last
caselot of Campbell’s Soup, or the triple coupon on Tide for example. Getting
them while they have their shop on might throw them off the tally, and is,
therefore, not advisable. In the best of worlds, the happiest way to deal with
the Controller is not to shop with them at all. Because there really is no need.
The Controller has everything covered, and unlike the the Ponderer, Free Spirit,
or Frazzled Parent, the Controller won’t forget anything as long as it’s on the
list. The Naturalist is also quite organized, but, unlike the Controller, if
it’s not organic—it won’t be coming home.
The Controller is quite easy to identify in this—the grocery store, his natural
habitat. If you’re worried about approaching someone to ask for directions to a
particular aisle or product, and suspect you may be gravitating toward a
Controller, never fear—as long as you speak to someone who doesn’t have a cart,
you’re probably safe. Controllers almost always have a cart.
If controllers happen to be shopping with a friend or spouse, the Controller
will have full stewardship of the cart because the true Controller feels naked
without one. Furthermore, it is unlikely that you will ever encounter a
Controller at the grocery store picking up just one item. The only exception to
this occurs when the Controller is married to or involved with a Free Spirit.
Free Spirits live without lists and will challenge Controllers in the most
uncomfortable ways ... Asking them to shop in trendy little markets where No
Name brand isn’t an option, or worse, to pick up items like macadamia nuts or
chanterelles on their way home from work. If in doubt, always look for a list.
Even with two items, the Controller will always have one. The Free Spirit is a
breed all its own. I should know; I’m married to one.
If left unattended at the grocery store, the Free Spirit will pretty much go crazy, throwing brand name items into the cart with wild abandon. The Free Spirit doesn’t care what an item costs, if it’s on the list, or if it’s part of a pre-arranged two week family eating plan.
No.
All the Free Spirit cares about is how the item looks. The packaging, the
colors, the presentation. No Name labels repel them like the plague. In general,
though, you won’t see a lot of free spirits at the grocery store. Unlike The
Controller, large grocery stores are not a Free Spirit’s natural habitat. They
can usually be found in farmer’s markets, organic food stores, and more often
than not, upscale restaurants.
The exception to this is if the Free Spirit is involved with or married to a
Controller. Free Spirits usually love to cook. It’s the hassle of dealing with
groceries that finds them at that new Thai restaurant instead of the local
Costco. But if they have a Controller in their lives who can find them all the
ingredients at the best prices, the Free Spirit’s place is where you want to
come for dinner.
The Naturalist, on the other hand, swings both ways. There are Controller Naturalists, and Free Spirited ones. What sets them apart, however, is an utter disdain for all things pre-packaged or processed. While Cambpell’s cream of mushroom soup is often a mainstay in Controller cooking, the mere thought of it wrinkles most Naturalists lightly tanned and freckled noses.
Naturalists come in all shapes and sizes and are comfortable both in health
food stores and large grocery chains. Natural fibres, birkenstock sandals,
longish hair, little makeup, and a cart full of products from the bulk
department are hallmark indicators that you are in the presence of one. As
shoppers, they are usually easy to get along with and will generally keep to
themselves.
Forewarned is forearmed, though. If you spot someone with a list, pushing a
cartload of bulk and organic products, don’t be offended when they look you and
your cart full of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese dinner, fish sticks, and Cheese
Whiz, over. Simply put, you are in the presence of that most frightening of
shoppers: the Controlling Naturalist.
This is the person who will race you to the checkout line, and will count
every item in your basket at the twelve item or less express. Furthermore, the
Controlling Naturalist shops with his own hemp grocery bags, and will always
comment if you choose plastic over paper. Outside of the grocery store setting,
however, the Controlling Naturalist is a powerful ally to have. Problems with
the government or the local school board? Look no further. The Controlling
Naturalist will be your best friend.
Which brings me to my next personality type: the Ponderer. For some reason,
Ponderers and Controlling Naturalists tend to gravitate to one another. It’s a
dichotomy, really, since the two personality types tend to drive each other the
most crazy. Yet, look to the marriages of any good Controlling Naturalist and 95
percent of the time they are married to a Ponderer.
If a Ponderer comes to the grocery store with a Controller, the Ponderer will
never have the cart. Instead, the ponderer can be spotted wandering aimlessly
around the grocery store with the occasional box in hand. The box is usually
something that has caught the Ponderer’s eye, something that is shiny and not on
the Controller’s list that they will try to sneak into the cart—which of course,
never works.
For the Controller sees all.
But the worst possible scenario of all is the PWC, or, Ponderer with Cart. Worse
yet, two Ponderers shopping together with a cart, and worse even still, two
elderly Ponderers with a cart. The Ponderer has absolutely no concept of grocery
store aisle etiquette, and will hold up traffic by parking the cart at some odd
angle in the middle the aisle while trying to decide which type of mayonnaise to
buy. But the most lethal of all grocery aisle situations of all is the Elderly
Ponderer Cart Holdup in combination with a Frazzled Parent with two or more
children.
If you find yourself in this situation—two elderly Ponderers holding up
traffic by the Hellman’s while a Frazzled Parent tries to quell the screams of a
two-year-old in the cart, at the same time twisting the arm of a five-year-old
reaching for the Fruity Pebbles—take heart. Thinking violent obscenity laced
thoughts is perfectly normal. And in particular, if you’re a Controller—go easy
on yourself. The Ponderer/Frazzled Parent combo can make even the most Free
Spirited Naturalist crazy. The safest way to deal with the situation is to
simply turn your cart around and go the other way.
They say that awareness is half the battle when embarking on any kind of
lifestyle change. My hope is that this Grocery Shopping Personality Indicator
has been a helpful way to shed some light on our own behaviors and, thus, change
them.
So the next time you’re at the grocery store, silently cursing the Crazies around you, remember ... there’s a little bit of Crazy in all of us—and most of the time, we know not what we do.
First published September 2008
Posted: 24 May 2009 02:19 AM PDT
Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper
Before the First Bit
Before we get into today's light
topic, I want to thank all of you who contributed to Friday's group discussion
about the key lessons and truths that we might teach our kids as they grow up.
Your thoughts were truly enlightening for me and I'm sure plenty of you learned
a little something as well. And to Hellen, Peta and Damian, if you can email
Johnny your postal address, I will see that he sends you each a gift for your
thoughtful contributions. Today's chat is quite deep, provocative and
philosophical, so if you're after a "quick motivational fix", today ain't that
day. However, it is a subject that will resonate with many of you and is
relevant for all of us - when we're ready. On with the show. Er, lesson.
Me and My Body
Growing
up as a fat kid, I identified very strongly with my body. In fact, I'm sure
there were times when I thought that I was
my body. "Me" and "it" were one and the same; especially when my physical
dimensions became my name. Being called "Jumbo" for the majority of my school
life gave me a pretty clear picture of who I was; a fat kid. In other people's
eyes anyway. I remember being thirteen years old and turning up to play football
for the first game of the season. I walked up to the blackboard (yep, it was
that long ago) - where the coach would write the team for the day - to see if
and where I would be playing. And there Jumbo was; playing on the half back
line. Seeing my name up there
on the board kind of confirmed who I was - made it official somehow. Amazingly,
there was no malice or offense intended by the coach; he was merely calling me
what everyone else did.
Fortunately for me, by my late teens I began to realise that I was more than a
body, more than a label and more than someone else's opinion of me. Although
it's fair to say that my unhealthy relationship with exercise and food continued
into my early twenties.
"I'm not a body, it's just
where I live"
Tall, Dark, Handsome and Pigeon-Holed
How often have you asked
yourself the "who am I" question? Often? Occasionally? Never? What answer did
you come up with? Are you still trying to figure it out? Does it matter to you?
Are you your body? Your face? Your age? Your career? Your bank balance? Your
reputation? Your marital status? You address? Your religious beliefs? Your
academic achievements? Your IQ? Your thoughts? Your possessions? Your title? "Er...
hello, Dr. Harper, what a handsome, young, clever, creative, wealthy,
medium-height, delusional, white male with a shaved head and too many issues to
mention you are..."
Thanks for that.
Perhaps we are the sum of those things. Or perhaps we're none of them. Perhaps
those things only have the meaning, power and significance that we give them.
Perhaps they are distractions that mislead, distract and seduce us further and
further away from finding our true selves. Or maybe not.
Group Thinking
You
and I live in a culture which likes to define us (tells us who we are) by what
we look like, what we own and what we do. Think about it; when you're in a
social setting and you meet a person for the first time, what's (often) the
first question you're asked? "So Sam, what do you do; where do you work"? Why
are you asked this? Because your job tells them who you are. It also tells them
how much money you earn, which tells them even more about who they are talking
to. Or so they believe. And perhaps it's this group thinking and this propensity
that we (the collective we) have for identifying with "things" (things that keep
the ego fed by the way) which keeps us at a distance from (1) moving towards
enlightenment (2) a shift in consciousness and (3) connecting with our authentic
selves. That is, discovering who we are beyond the noise of humanity, the
expectations of those around us, the chaos of our mind, the programming of our
past and the incessant chatter of our very demanding ego.
Same Story, Different Labels
These days in my world "Jumbo" has been replaced by terms like... "that single
forty-something bloke". Clearly not a desirable label (for most people anyway).
Strangely, I don't mind it. Apparently being single and in your forties infers a
level of dysfunction and inadequacy. Weirdness even. Again, I'm okay with that
too. Is it bad that I'll happily admit to a little dysfunction, inadequacy and
weirdness? Oh well. And then there's me the Blogger. Me the Fitness Expert. Me
the Writer. Me the Speaker. Me the business owner. Me the student of philosophy.
Me the spiritual seeker. Me the teacher. Me the motorcyclist. Me the
ex-bodybuilder... and the list goes on. But do these labels speak of who I am or
simply, what I do? Perhaps they are not me but indicators of what drives me.
Which begs the question, is what drives me.... me? The answer is no, but we're
getting closer.
A Terrestrial Pit Stop
Perhaps
you and I are eternal beings having a temporary pit stop down here on the big
blue ball; spiritual beings enjoying a momentary physical experience. That's
what most of the major religions teach anyway. Perhaps in the context of
eternity - which is timeless - the thing we refer to as our "life" is a mere
heartbeat of our on-going journey. Or perhaps our eighty years (or so) on planet
Earth is it; the whole deal. When asked, most people will say that they believe
we don't just die and turn into worm food. "There's gotta be more than this" is
the common refrain. Maybe we say that because on some level that we just
know there's more. It doesn't make
sense logically or scientifically but somehow we just know. Or we believe we do
anyway. Or perhaps we say it because the idea of this (physical) life being "all
there is", is just too uncomfortable and terrifying for us to consider.
Life After Life?
When it comes to the age-old debate of what happens after our physical death
down here on Terra Firma, we can speculate, theorise, hypothesize, philosophise,
rationalise and argue till the cows come home (when is that by the way?) but we
can't actually know. If we had
absolute, indisputable, irrefutable knowledge then we wouldn't need faith
because as we all know (or we're about to know), faith is believing in something
that we can't prove. Yes, we can know what we think, we can know what we
believe, and we can know what we expect but we can't know with absolute
certainty what happens once we die because unless there's some important fact
that I'm over-looking, at this point in time neither you or I have experienced
physical death. Okay, I have digressed from today's topic a little with this
paragraph... but hey, what's new?
I'll finish part one of this little exploration with some wisdom from one of my
faves...
"The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but I Am" Eckhart Tolle
Now that we've (kind of) established who we aren't, next time we'll see if we can discover who we are. If your head hasn't exploded, I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Just click on the comment link and spill yer guts. Enjoy your Monday.
Posted: 26 May 2009 04:39 AM PDT
Before We Get Started
For some of you, today's post may be a little philosophical, left of centre and
possibly even confusing. For others it will feel like you've put on a
comfortable old jumper. Which ever group you fall into, do your best to have an
open mind and to seek learning. For those of you who find it "all a bit weird",
rest easy in the knowledge that I'll be back soon with a good old-fashioned
motivational head kicking. Also, a big thanks to you guys for all your input on
yesterday's post; some great suggestions for changing the way we get to know
people. I might take some of your ideas for a spin this weekend at
RYL. And to Lisa (from
Sweden)
and Kimmy (from NSW) if you both send me your details I'll see that Boy Wonder
sends you each a copy of my Renovate Your Body DVD for your great contributions.
Thanks.
Okay,
I know What I'm Not
So if I'm not my job, my accomplishments, my IQ, my reputation, my education, my
big biceps or my bank balance, then who the heck am I? Perhaps I'm just me. Me
beyond all that stuff. The me that isn't any of those "things". Perhaps I am the
consciousness that knows and understands what I am not. Perhaps I am the
awareness that tells me that what I own, do, think or even look like will never
change who I am, because who I am never changes.
And You?
And perhaps you are just you. And that's it. Why must we assign you a label or
identity other than "you"? Could it actually be so simple? Surely I can't just
be me because "me" all by myself isn't enough. Is it? Er, am I? Don't I need to
be "me the (insert impressive label)". And if I'm not enough, then the obvious
question is... not enough what? Lovable enough? Desirable enough? Smart enough?
Rich enough?
Yes I am enough. And so are you.
Letting Go
This awareness and realisation (that you are enough) comes not from a place of
ego, but rather one of enlightenment. And consciousness. Of simply being. Of
letting go of what we're not. Of not striving. Of not seeking approval. Of not
seeking to identify self with things. Of not trying to "be" anything because you
can never be anyone but you; your true self. Sure you can do different things,
put on different clothes and lose a few pounds but all those changes are
physical and temporal, while you are spiritual and eternal. You are much more
than a body and a new outfit.
So much more.
A Quick Aside...
By the way, you can't "think" your way to enlightenment and
consciousness; if anything, thinking will only get in your way. Thinking serves
a purpose to a point and then it becomes a barrier to change and personal
transformation. The key is to be able to recognise that point. A shift in
consciousness or a step in the direction of enlightenment actually speaks of
stepping away from thought and "logic". Logic (often) being a synonym for fear.
Label Obsession
It's
true that you and I live in a culture obsessed with labels; and not just product
labels, but people labels too; a culture that has confused identity with reality
for far too long. The habit we have of labelling creates more problems than it
does benefits. The moment we say something like, "I'm the creative one and my
sister is the academic one", is the moment we build a barrier to a world of
possibilities. It's also the moment we tell ourselves what we are not. Or what
we can't be.
The Insecurity Epidemic
It's fair to say that you and I currently live in an epidemic of insecurity.
It's also fair to say that many people are in the middle of a (perceived)
identity crisis. If people would stop confusing "identity" with self, they would
soon experience a lot less anxiety; they are very different things. An identity
is not you and never will be; it is a psychological construct and the creation
of something we think we want to be. It is a role we play. Take a look around at
how desperate people are to find love, acceptance, approval, respect and
connection through their identity. "If I inject the muscles of my face with this
poison (botox) and fill my lips with this crap (collagen) then I'll be more
attractive, desirable and popular (and therefore, happy). Somewhere along the
line we have "learned" that, of ourselves, we are not good enough. We have
learned that we need to be "more than us".
These are lessons we need to unlearn.
As long as you and I seek to gain security, self-esteem and our sense of self
from our job, reputation, appearance, money, etc. (all the external stuff), we
will always be insecure and vulnerable because all of those things are temporary
and can be taken from us at any time.
So perhaps it's time for you to stop trying to "find" yourself (in other things)
and simply start "being" yourself. You might like you.
As always, love to hear your thoughts on this subject, even you
long-time Lurkers. Click on the comment link and go crazy.
Ciao x
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Numerology
· A Roadmap for Life: Numerology at Work
· International and National Predictions 2009
· The Metaphysics of Blueprint Numerology
· An Introduction to the Numerological Art
· 2009: A Relationship Odyssey!!!
· Are You a Yellow Or a Green?
· 2009 Numerology - Lighting Your Path from Within
· Analyzing the Many Different Names You and Other People Use
See All Articles on Numerology
More and more people are taking on the challenge of orchestrating and directing
the shape of their lives. We’re applying all manner of clever plans, living with
purpose and focusing with intention. Yet, a natural consequence of this
self-determination is that people are feeling not only increasingly responsible
for the outcome of their lives, but also pressured to prove they are equal to
the challenge. You are told that if you visualize with intention and believe in
your goals, you will attract what you want. Your success is in your hands.
Abundance is just a thought away!
Well, not quite. Suppose you’ve been diligently focusing on attracting the
things you want into your life. You’ve hired a coach. You’ve produced a
dynamite, fail-proof plan. Yet, unforeseen circumstances arise and trends
change, getting in the way of your progress and eventually diminishing your
feelings of satisfaction. Your confidence falters. You wonder what went wrong.
In your planning, do you consider timing? Is it the right time to focus on
business? On relationships? On money? On creativity? You would if you had a
crystal ball, but you don’t, right? Well, actually, you do have one, and it is
found right in your birth date. Numerologists have been using it for centuries,
and it’s called the 9 Year Cycle. This information alone will add such a
powerful backdrop to your planning and goal-setting activities that you’ll
wonder how you managed without it all these years.
Each of the 9 Personal Years can be used as signposts along a roadmap of sorts,
indicating trends that last one calendar year. To calculate your Personal Year
number, first reduce the numbers of your birthday and month and the calendar
year to a single digit, then calculate the sum of these three numbers. For
example, for a birthday on June 12th, calculate the Personal Year for 2008 as
follows:
1. Birth Month: June, 6th month
2. Birth Day: 12, 1 + 2 = 3
3. Calendar Year: 2008, 2 + 0 + 0 + 8 = 1
4. Add the results for the Month, Day and Year: 6 + 3 + 1 = 10.
5. Reduce the total to a single digit: 1 + 0 = 1. The Personal Year number for
2008 is 1.
Each of the 9 years has its own climate and tendencies. Much like planting
tomatoes in June is more likely to produce a harvest than planting them during a
January frost, choosing activities that are appropriate for your current trends
will increase your chances of success during that year.
The 1 Personal Year This is a time of new beginnings, filled with enthusiasm and
renewed energy. It is the ideal time to make adjustments to outdated areas of
life, especially if events in the past have lead to loss of direction. The 1
Personal Year is often experienced as an important crossroads.
The 2 Personal Year Personal and business partnerships typically come to the
fore in a 2 Personal Year. This is a time for cooperation, teamwork and
receptivity. A certain amount of flexibility is required as new projects begun
last year begin to take shape. Discernment is required.
The 3 Personal Year Energy explodes, possibilities abound, and what seemed
previously guarded and tentative, now begins to bubble to the surface. New
projects and ideas that emerged over the past two years are seeking expression.
There can be much social activity, optimism and luck now.
The 4 Personal Year There are three keywords that accurately describe the 4
Personal Year: work, work and more work! Attend to the details and
responsibilities of home, family health and work. This is a foundation period,
time to set down roots, focus on essentials, and be organized.
The 5 Personal Year The routine gets a little shaking up in the 5 Personal Year.
With a strong foundation in place, this is a great year for travel, expansion,
innovation and new experiences. This is a great year for marketing and
promotion. Much growth is possible now.
The 6 Personal Year The focus is on family and home life, and in particular, on
all responsibilities for others, whether at home, in the community or in the
workplace. This is a time for balance, peacefulness and service to others. This
can be a happy time for love and relationships.
The 7 Personal Year This is a period of temporary withdrawal from the hustle and
bustle of worldly and material existence. You feel the need to take time out,
gather up inner strength and be better prepared to go all out in the big 8
Personal Year coming in the next year.
The 8 Personal Year This is the big year, the peak of your cycle, the
culmination of all that hard work! Now you reap the fruits of your labours of
the previous seven years. This is an excellent time for career, professional,
business and financial activities and projects.
The 9 Personal Year This year wraps up the cycle, and is often an important year
in that it can mark the start of an important transition period. It is a time of
completion, wrapping up and winding down. Consider future possibilities without
making long-term commitments.
By keeping the 9 Year cycle in mind when planning and goal setting, projects
flow more smoothly. Knowing what to do and when to do it gives a greater sense
of control and confidence, generally leading to a more positive outlook, all of
which naturally contributes in increased success and more satisfactory results.
The 9 Year Epicycle clearly indicates the what and the when.
Adapted from The Power of Time: Understanding the Cycles of Your Life's Path by
Pauline Edward ©2007. Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd, 2143 Wooddale Drive, Woodbury, MN
55125. All rights reserved.
Author's Bio
Pauline Edward (Quebec, Canada) is an astrologer-numerologist and speaker. She
is the founder of A Time for Success, a consulting business specializing in
Trends, Cycles, and Lifestyle Planning offering counseling, coaching and
workshops for individuals and businesses worldwide. A Time for Success is the
proud winner of a prestigious Chamber of Commerce Accolades award for
excellence in business practice. Pauline is the author of The Power of Time:
Understanding the Cycles of Your Life’s Path and Making Peace with God : The
Journey of A Course in Miracles student.
With a background in the sciences and a fascination for all things mystical,
Pauline’s journey has been enriched by a wide range of experiences from
research in international economics, technical writing in R&D and computer
training, to studies in astrology, numerology, meditation, yoga, shamanism,
the Bach Flower Remedies, herbology, healing and Reiki. Her lifelong quest for
truth and an understanding of the meaning of life eventually led her to A
Course in Miracles, a study which has now become an integral part of her life.
When not working with clients, Pauline can be found indulging her passions for
writing, renovating her home, gardening, or hosting dinners with family and
friends. Learn more about her services, scheduled events and upcoming
publications on her website:
paulineedward.com.
Every Wednesday is Tip Day -- or Quiz Day.
This Wednesday: Quiz -- Do you make other people happy?
As put forth by the
Second Splendid Truth:
One of the best ways to make yourself
happy is to make other people happy;
One of the best ways to make other people is to be happy yourself.
Everyone accepts the Second Splendid Truth, Part A; the Second Splendid Truth, Part B often isn’t as clear to people. But to focus on Part A here – how do you know if you’re making other people happy? What are some signs?
Are the following statements true for you:
Notice some items that are not on the list:
Even if you’re making people happy, they don’t always respond by making these gestures. (Which can be annoying.)
A while back, I posted a quiz, Are you the person whom everyone else finds difficult? It was a lot easier to think of signs that you make people unhappy than you make people happy – perhaps because of the negativity bias.
What am I missing? I feel like I've overlooked some obvious indicators. What are some other good signs that you make people happy?
* Many thoughtful readers have sent me the link to a fascinating article from The Atlantic, What Makes Us Happy? It's a great piece, plus I know the writer, Joshua Wolf Shenk, a little bit, which made it even more fun to read it.
* Yes, super-fans, the website is ready! You should have received an email from me with the link to my fabulous new site. Thanks for helping with this pre-launch phase -- I'm so grateful. Soon I hope the site will be ready to be made public.
Super-fans, let me ask you an additional favor. Unbelievable as this sounds, there are more than 2,400 super-fans, so it would be an enormous help if, instead of emailing me directly with your suggestions or comments, you'd post to the Discussion Page on Facebook. That way, the web developers can read what you've said without me having to act as an intermediary, and it's much quicker for me to read everyone's comments. Also, other users might be interested to see your response. Again, THANKS. Have fun with the site!
By: Vicki Santillano (View Profile)
Of all the different methods out there for finding key personality traits, graphology, the analysis of handwriting, seems to make some sense. Think of how much handwriting varies from one individual to another; even the difference between signatures—legible versus illegible, signed with flourish or indistinct—suggests something about the person.
Our scrawls, whether chicken scratch-like or similar to computer font in their consistent neatness, are unique to us. Not even identical twins with their identical genetic makeup have the same handwriting, so there just might be something to the argument that our writing styles are somehow tied to our personalities. After doing some research, I came across a few principles of graphology that seemed easiest to analyze so that even us non-experts could see what our handwriting potentially reveals.
Put the Pen to Paper
Unlocking the inner workings of our identities via graphology only requires two
items: a writing utensil and an unlined piece of paper. If you’ve got old
letters or notes with at least a couple paragraphs’ worth of text, the bulk of
the work’s already done. If not, just find something to copy and try to write as
naturally as possible. Remember, trying to have the best penmanship possible
doesn’t win you any points with graphology; it will only give you insight into
the kind of person you’d be if you had different handwriting.
Handwriting analyst Gary Thomas believes that studying handwriting involves looking at both small details, like the space between letters, and bigger ones, such as the amount of pressure used when writing. Each characteristic implies something different about the writer’s personality.
Spacing
Space can operate in a variety of ways when it comes to handwriting. There are
two main things to consider: space between words and space between sentences.
That’s why using an unlined piece of paper is essential—just how much space we
put between sentences can provide insight.
Spacing Between Words: According to graphology, this represents your comfort level when it comes to socializing. Having very little space in between words, like in the photo above, suggests that you are a people-person who craves social contact. A large gap indicates that you have trouble relating to others and might prefer being solo. Those with an average amount of space fall somewhere in the middle.
Spacing Between Sentences in Paragraphs: If it’s difficult to determine one line from another (i.e., there’s almost no space separating them), your thoughts might be a bit jumbled and confused. On the other side of the spectrum, large spaces are associated with sharp perception and meticulousness. Average spaces represent a balance between the two.
Line Levels
Another reason to use unlined paper is to analyze the direction your lines
travel naturally, such as if they ascend across the page or remain steadily
straight. Supposedly, the baseline tells us about our emotional health.
Straight: Someone who writes in an exactly straight line could be rigid and methodical, to the point where he/she sees being emotional as having a lack of discipline. Mostly straight lines speak well of a person’s level of self-control and success in a variety of trades.
Ascending/Descending: If the baseline slopes upward as you write from left to right (as it does in the picture below), graphologists would say that you have a positive outlook and are generally enthusiastic and determined. If it slopes downward, that suggests depression, lethargy, or a tendency toward moodiness.
Very Wavy: When lines look like the outline of a roller coaster, it might mean that the writer feels emotionally unstable. However, having a slight wave for a baseline is common and generally indicates a balanced emotional outlook.
Slant of Writing
Whether writing slants toward the left or right, or if it’s fairly vertical,
relates to one’s emotional reaction to situations.
Left Slant (\\\): If your writing slants toward the left, it’s possible you have trouble expressing yourself and come off as indifferent and distant to those around you.
Vertical (|||): A lack of slant in writing suggests that you’re guided by logic more than your emotions, but that there’s a fair balance between the two.
Right Slant (///): People who write with a forward slant, such as the example pictured below, follow their hearts and are usually more empathetic and caring than most.
Size of Writing
According to graphologists, how big or small one’s font is represents their
concentration skills.
Small: This type of writing, as shown below, often belongs to someone with a high concentration level and a superior attention to detail. She operates best when given one task at a time and the ability to tackle it alone.
Average: Those who use average-sized characters can concentrate just enough to be effective, but not so much that they get caught up in the minute details.
Large: Bigger handwriting could point to a fast-moving mind that has trouble focusing on one thing for too long, preferring a variety of responsibilities and tasks.
Signature
People who study handwriting, such as life coach
Elaine Ness, feel that our signatures demonstrate how we want to be seen by
others. They’re indicative of our public identities, but not necessarily our
true selves. To best understand how signatures relate to the self, compare it to
plain text, such as the body of a written letter.
Legible/Illegible: This relates to communication, particularly when it follows something the person has written him/herself. If the signature is legible, the person feels comfortable with what’s expressed and wants to associate with it; an illegible signature implies the opposite. And if the text and the signature are completely different (the text is legible and the signature is not, or vice versa), that means the individual is adopting a public persona that’s different from the private one.
An illegible signature alone, like the one pictured above, possibly indicates that the person isn’t all that interested in being publically recognized. And according to Psychology Today, if part of the signature is crossed through, it could be a sign that the person fears negative judgment or is insecure about public perception.
Elaborate/Understated: A splashy signature with lots of loops or underscores might belong to someone who likes to show off and craves the spotlight. Some say that having a long line or swoop at the end of a signature is another sign of a person wanting to be noticed, especially if it rises above the rest of the signature. If the signature is small or is almost indistinguishable from the rest of the person’s handwriting, that could mean he is shy and modest.
Spacing: What kind of space lies between the first name and last name (or middle name/initial, if that’s included in the signature)? The bigger the gap, the more a person is attempting to remove him or herself from a familial identity and focus on an individual one. The large space between Jane and Doe in the signature below indicates a tension and separation between the two.
Currently, graphology is thought of as a pseudoscience by the scientific community, meaning that it holds about as much clout as astrology or palm reading. There have been numerous studies that attempted to prove its accuracy, but most have been unsuccessful. There are some points that I disagree with, such as a tail at the end of the signature symbolizing a cry for attention. (What if you just have a long and complicated last name?) Plus our handwriting can be affected by outside factors, such as how it becomes more jumbled if we’re in a hurry.
But I believe that studying handwriting could offer some understanding about ourselves, if only because it’s so individualized. Like any other method of personality analysis, it’s just a fun way to deconstruct ourselves in the hopes of getting a glimpse at who we really are. And maybe that’s not exactly written in the stars or our signatures, but it’s still fun to look.
First published April 2009
;)
http://www.parents.com/baby/development/social/birth-order-and-personality/?page=1
How being the firstborn, middle child, last-born, or only child may affect your behavior more than you think.
The Birth Order Effect
"The one thing you can bet your paycheck on is the firstborn and second-born in any given family are going to be different," says Dr. Kevin Leman, a psychologist who has studied birth order since 1967 and author of The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are (Revell). But how is it that a gregarious comedian and a reclusive, introspective thinker can be so different yet share the same genes? Psychologists like Leman believe the secret to sibling personality differences lies in birth order -- whether you're a first-, middle-, last-born, or only child -- and how parents treat their child because of it.
Meri Wallace, a child and family therapist for over 20 years and author of Birth Order Blues (Owl Books), agrees. "Some of it has to do with the way the parent relates to the child in his spot, and some of it actually happens because of the spot itself. Each spot has unique challenges," she explains.
Simply by virtue of being a couple's first child, a firstborn will naturally be a sort of experiment for the new parents, a mixture of instinct and trial-and-error. Perhaps this will cause the parents to become by-the-book caregivers who are extremely attentive, stringent with rules, and overly neurotic about the minutiae. This in turn may cause the child to become a perfectionist, always striving to please his parents.
In contrast, if the couple decides to have a second child, they might raise their second-born with less of an iron first due to their experiences raising their firstborn. They might also be less attentive to the second-born since there's another child competing for attention, and they probably will be less inclined to impulsively dial 911 every time the child breaks a sweat. This may cause the second-born to be less of a perfectionist but more of a people-pleaser due to the lack of attention he gets in comparison to his older sibling.
In short, it's not necessarily the fact that a child came out of his mother's womb first that he grew up to be a leader who talks a blue streak. Rather, it's the fact that his parents treated him as their firstborn child that shaped his attitude and behavior.
Firstborn
As the leader of the pack, firstborns often tend to be:
Reliable
Conscientious
Structured
Cautious
Controlling
Achievers
Firstborns bask in their parents' presence, which may explain why they sometimes act like mini-adults. Firstborns are diligent and want to be the best at everything they do. They excel at winning the hearts of their elders.
Lori Kiel McGowan, a public health consultant and mother of two boys in Cambridge, Massachusetts, can attest to that. She describes her 6-year-old firstborn son Kiel as a cautious boy who prefers the company of adults or younger children compared to that of his peers. "For his sixth birthday, we invited six friends of his choosing," McGowan recalls. "For maybe the first half hour to 45 minutes, he crawled into a corner behind a booth and cried. These were close friends from school and after-school and the neighborhood. But after [his cautiousness waned], he came out and had a great time." When presented with a new situation, Kiel's cautious nature manifested itself in temporary introversion. However, once he became acclimated to his new environment, his caution subsided.
Moreover, as for his behavior around his younger brother Fionn, Kiel plays the role of the "controlling big brother" to a T: "He alternately tries to hug him and push him down, or gets a toy or juice for him, and then takes something away to make him scream," McGowan says. "It's definitely a sibling love/hate thing."
As firstborns grow older, their traits are not necessarily lost. Firstborn child Tracy Rackauskas, a 35-year-old from Denver, fully identifies herself as an achiever. "I want to be the best dressed, in a quirky-fashionable way; I want to have the best fantasy football team; I want to be the best editor; I want to be the most insightful and understanding partner; I want to be the sexiest and the smartest and the most interesting," Rackauskas says. "And it's not because I'm really competitive or want to be better than anybody else, but just because I want to be the best." Her ambition carried over to her studies in law school, where she studied all the time and prepared for exams by making her own outlines according to her specific organization system. Perhaps in part due to her diligence, Rackauskas graduated summa cum laude and now works as a legal editor, making sure everything that passes through her hands meets her standards.
Middle Child
"The middle child often feels left out and a sense of, 'Well, I'm not the oldest. I'm not the youngest. Who am I?'" says therapist Meri Wallace. This sort of hierarchical floundering leads middle children to make their mark among their peers, since parental attention is usually devoted to the beloved firstborn or baby of the family.
In general, middle children tend to possess the following characteristics:
People-pleasers
Somewhat rebellious
Thrives on friendships
Has large social circle
Peacemaker
Holly Schrock, a 31-year-old at-home mother of five in Newtown, Pennsylvania, describes her second-born child Maggie as an attention-getter with a mildly rebellious streak. "You'll say to her 'Go pick up the laundry right now' or 'Go put on your bathing suit so we can go to the pool,' and if she's in the middle of something, she'll look at you bald-faced and say, 'No!'" Schrock says.
However, "middle children are the toughest to pin down because they do play off their older sibling," says Dr. Leman. For instance, the sex of the child is a big variable. If the firstborn child is a boy and the middle child is a girl, she may possess firstborn characteristics because though she is technically second-born, she is also the firstborn female. As the second-born child with an older brother, 4-year-old Maggie also qualifies as the firstborn female in the family, which may explain why she also possesses the nurturing leader qualities of a firstborn child. "Maggie likes to be a little mommy, especially to the younger ones." Schrock says. "She picks up her 2-year-old brother and tries to tend to his needs in a positive way. She's protective of them."
Schrock herself is also a middle child. Sandwiched between an older and younger sister, Schrock exhibited the same rebellious streak that her daughter Maggie does. "I wasn't a bad kid, but I was definitely pushing the envelope a little," Schrock says. In fact, at one point during her teen years, Schrock became embroiled in an argument with her parents that resulted in her running away for three days. Though Schrock admits she has since calmed down a bit, she still won't take anyone's guff. "I don't like being told what to do, period."
Last Born
Youngest children tend to be the most free-spirited due to their parents' increasingly laissez-faire attitude towards parenting the second (or third, or fourth, or fifth...) time around. The baby of the family tends to be:
Fun-loving
Uncomplicated
Manipulative
Outgoing
Attention-seeker
Self-centered
Megan, an at-home mom in San Diego, says her 7-year-old daughter Kacey loves the spotlight and will wrestle it away from others, if need be. "Kacey loves to go out into our backyard and put on shows," Megan says. "One time she was out there roller skating with her older sister, Jessica, but when Jessica started skating in these pirouettes that Kacey couldn't do, Kacey deliberately fell down to get our attention."
Lastborn child Janice Lee, now 25 years old and working as an architect in New York City, definitely identifies with the simplistic, uncomplicated nature of a last-born child. "Most girls would die if their boyfriends didn't get them something for their birthday," she says. "But my boyfriend and I don't exchange gifts on our birthdays or anniversaries. We're very low-key. We'll go out to dinner, but nothing extravagant." Lee also has a pie-in-the-sky, "everything will work out" worldview: "I don't need to have that much security in my life. I like being spontaneous. I moved to Germany from Toronto for a job last year, and I didn't even speak the language," she says.
Only Children
Being the only child is a unique position in a family. Without any siblings to compete with, the only child monopolizes his parents' attention and resources, not just for a short period of time like a firstborn, but forever. In effect, this makes an only child something like a "super-firstborn": only children have the privilege (and the burden) of having all their parents' support and expectations on their shoulders. Thus, only children tend to be:
Mature for their age
Perfectionists
Conscientious
Diligent
Leaders
Just one meeting with 5-year-old Lilia, and you'll see. "She has a sophisticated sense of humor and is often one of the few girls her age to get a sarcastic remark or double-meaning," says Lilia's mother Razan Brooker, a software business owner in Boston. "Her teachers are very surprised at her level of understanding of adult humor." Even as a younger child, Lilia exhibited noticeable maturity and diligence. Like most children, Lilia sucked her thumb. But rather than throwing a temper tantrum when asked to break the habit, "she agreed to it and threw away her 'blankie,' claiming that is what makes her want to suck her thumb," Brooker says. "She then proceeded to make a chart for herself consisting of 30 squares for the number of days she was told it will take her to break the habit." A month later, Lilia was sleeping with her hands by her side.
Even when only children reach adulthood, they may not necessarily shed their need to be model human beings, able to run a five-minute mile and cook a seven-course meal without consulting a cookbook. "I hosted a Christmas party at my apartment and had to make sure the champagne was chilled, the music was on, the cats were locked in the kitchen," says Margaret Lloyd, a 27-year-old New York advertising associate. "Even after guests arrived, I kept fussing with things, even though it probably took away from some of my enjoyment that evening."
Exceptions to Traditional Birth Order Structure
Blended Families: In the case of divorce, remarriage, and the melding of stepchildren, Dr. Leman says, "blended families don't blend; they collide." Firstborn children who used to be the leader of the pack may find themselves unceremoniously thrown off the top of the hill by an older stepsibling, and the youngest of the family may suddenly have to deal with all the attention that's segued towards the new baby.
But despite a child's new position in a blended family hierarchy, he will not tailor his existing personality to his new position unless he is still in infancy. Many psychologists agree that personality develops tremendously during the first few years of life during the bonding stages. By about age 5, much of a child's personality has been established (although that doesn't mean it's fixed). In this way, a 10-year-old firstborn will likely have a more difficult time giving up his position as the eldest than a 4-year-old might.
Families Within Families: In cases such as with twins, you have a family within a family -- a unit that operates independently of birth order. "A twin will never act like a middle-born; he will always act like a firstborn or a baby," Leman says. Since twins are perceived as a singl
